UmbrellaGate? Really? No, Seriously, Really???

It is now clear that the only thing the Right Wing (and their puppets the “Republican Party”)cares about is getting Obama out of office. They used to care about other stuff, too, but since they got their elephantine arses handed to them on a Chinet platter last November, their anger and hatred of the Prexy has gotten even further out of hand. Since the voters told them to pound sand, they have decided to try to run him out of office via scandals.

So we have had (just in the past few weeks) BomberGate, BenghaziGate, IRSGate, and other such manufactured bits of outrage that turned out to be, well, manufactured when looked at closely. Not to mention all the other fake bits of fertilizer that had emerged prior. But today, we have hit a new standard in faux outrage: UmbrellaGate.

Obama and the Turkish PM were holding a presser when it started to rain. A couple of Marines came over with umbrellas and held them over the two heads of state. Pretty normal stuff, but you’d not know it to hear the Teabaggers and their cohorts screeching away.

Calm down, peeps. Here are a couple of Umbrella-related photos for you to peruse:

Funny how the Right Wingnuts never made a peep about these people getting umbrellas held over THEIR heads, eh? (Yes, yes, Marines were holding the brollies for these two guys, so that makes this all different, right? Wrong. He’s the CIC, and the PM is an honored guest.)

Oh, and here’s a picture of Obama holding an umbrella over PM Cameron’s head the other day:

Outrageous, eh? Hrrrrmmmmm…no. It isn’t. People hold umbrellas for other people all the time. It’s not called a “scandal”. It’s called “manners”. Here’s another example of manners: accepting the results of an election, getting the f*** over it, and doing the work you were elected to do. Try it sometime, Wingnuts: maybe your approval ratings would climb out of single digits if you did.

 

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Congress Deserves No Respect, Reason 500 Gazillion and Two

The “distinguished gentleman” known as Gohmert got busted for making s*** up and yelling said fertilizer at AG Holder yesterday. As you can see HERE, he did not take kindly to having his lies called out.

In fact, he was so angry, he accused the General of, quote, casting “aspersions on my asparagus”, close quote.

And they wonder why we mock them.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Coincidence? We Think Not.

Your humble correspondent had a snarky little revelation this morning: two words, seemingly quite different, but with a single meaning:

CONstipation: can’t pass anything
CONgress: can’t pass anything

In both cases, the inability to “pass” can be because of an obstruction, or a result of stuffing one’s self full of unhealthy junk that has no substantive value.

In both cases, the inability to “pass” can make a person crabby. Also, their discomfort can cause some odd facial expressions:

Nope, not a coincidence at all. Ladies and gentlemen, the reason our Congress can’t do much of anything: they are, literally and figuratively, full of s***.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Obama Cannot be Blamed for the IRS Scandal. Here’s Why:

Yes, the idiots at the Internal Revenue Service who are responsible for this idiocy need investigated and dealt with. But trying to tie this to the Prexy is nonsense. Here’s why:

Number A: the man in charge of the IRS when the activity was actually going on was an appointee of Bush The Dumber, held over while Obama tried to get Senate “Republicans” to confirm a new guy. The Bushie quit after a stop was put to the scandal crap.

Letter 2: the Obama administration still does not have one of their appointees in charge, because the aforementioned Repubs have blocked his nominees. So we’ve never had an Obaminoid in charge of the IRS, and that is the fault of the Puerile Pachyderms.

This means, Gentle Reader, that if one wishes to blame anyone at the top, that blame must be placed upon the Teapublicans.

Here’s a buck saying they never admit it. Any takers?

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Screw the IRS (and Congress) With a Rusty Chainsaw.

It says something about our nation that nothing can simultaneously unite and divide us like the IRS. As you know, some idiots at that agency did some idiot s***, and their idiot bosses didn’t smack them down soon enough. So of course, everybody hates the IRS even more than they usually do. And the wingnuts already hate Obama so much, they can’t hate him any more without their heads exploding (the sensible people just shake our heads at the poor schmuck).

Using political criteria as the IRS did is despicable and anyone who did it should get de-jobbed as soon as they have been proven guilty. Targeting certain groups of people for “special treatment” is the sort of thing that was done by the Romans, Spartans and the Spanish Inquisition, to name a few examples. “Chilling effect” doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Speaking of targeting people for harassment, Congressional “Republicans” have seized upon this as Yet Another Chance To Beat On The Black President instead of doing useful work. We need a budget, laws, all sorts of tasks accomplished that only Congress can do: and they are doing none of it. Because they are spending what little time they actually spend at “work” trying to de-job Obama.

Screw anyone who is screwing We The People: especially the IRS and Congress. With the aforementioned chainsaw. And not gently.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Michele Bachmann Says that God Killed All Those Innocent People on 9/11

http://tv.msnbc.com/2013/05/13/rep-bachmann-911-benghazi-are-a-judgment-from-god/  Yes, she really said it.  According to the Loon of the Lakes, 9/11/01 and 9/11/12 were not the fault of those scumbucket terrorists. Nope, God killed them, via His “judgment”.

Well, then, Michele, let’s let all the terrorists go free, since they didn’t commit any crimes, right? If God is the guilty party, can we really justify holding these men in prison? Of course not. And call off the manhunt for the despicable little s***s who murdered our embassy staff in Benghazi, too. She says God killed them as well, again by his “judgment”. So really, it’s not the fault of the miserable little weasels that we thought did the deed: no, it was God that did it. Thus sayeth Bachmann, anyway.

You don’t think that’s what she meant? Take another example of His judgment: the Flood. God (according to the Bible that Ms. Bachmann also reads) did away with every animal that walked the Earth as his judgment on us for our wicked ways: every such creature that Noah could not fit on the Ark. Also, God killed a lot of young men in ancient Egypt when Moses was trying to get the Israelites freed. So, make no mistake about it, when people die as a result of God’s judgment, it is God that kills them. And He makes no bones about it.

This Congresscritter is truly insane, people. We know that humans do evil things: we see it every day. Do we really think that God is the agent of evil, that He rapes, steals, tortures and murders us? Most of us think no such thing. Ms. Bachmann would appear to think that is the case, though. (Hint, Michele – look up “Satan” in your dictionary. You may have him and God mixed up.)

But then, what do you expect from someone who claims to have heard the voice of God telling her to make LGBT Americans into second-class citizens? Yes, she said that too: http://www.npr.org/player/v2/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=1&islist=false&id=183700366&m=183728685

Hey, Michele: maybe, just possibly maybe, the guilty party is not God at all. Maybe the  guilt belongs to  the despicable terrorist killers who flew those planes and pulled those triggers. A crackpot idea, perhaps, but you might want to give it a moment’s thought sometime.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Darrell Issa Can’t Understand Basic English

http://thinkprogress.org/security/2013/05/13/2002871/issa-obama-covered-up-benghazi-terrorism-by-calling-it-an-act-of-terror/ is a story worthy of a quick read. In it, Darrell Issa shows his immense stupidity yet again, by claiming that saying that “act of terror” means something different than “terrorist act”. Really.

Of course, it could be that Mr. Issa does know that they mean the same thing. If so, he’s a stinking, manipulative, crooked little man who is wasting taxpayer money and precious time on a partisan witch-hunt.

Neither option says anything good about the man.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky