The Dance of the Masturbating Fetuses

http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2013/06/17/texas-congressman-masturbating-fetuses-prove-need-for-abortion-ban/  Sometimes, a blogger has little to do but spread around the incredible wealth of absurdity that our “representatives” offer up to We The People. This is one of those times (we WISH we could make this kind of s*** up):

Texas Congresscritter Michael Burgess (R-Bedlam) said that since he has seen 15-week old male fetuses masturbating in the womb (exactly how he knows this I dunno, but hey, he’s a doctor, right?), why, there must be an absolute ban on all abortions: but he’ll settle for a ban set at 20 weeks. Really. He said that. Nope, not kidding:

“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” said Burgess, a former OB/GYN. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to believe that they could feel pain?”

Now, some might call this a stroke of genius, or the worst idea they ever came across. You might say he’s a real jerk, or that he’s read the Palma Sutra too many times. One could speculate that he has Onan and Oedipus confused or conflated. We all wonder what this dick is trying to pull. Is it really that hard, you little squirt?

OK, enough with the autoerotica puns. The real joke is that this is an OB/GYN turned “republican” ”representative”, and these comments are now part of the Congressional Record. Future generations will need this comic relief as they read up on how we took such a promising nation and turned it into a large heap of dung, presided over by fundagelical ignoramuses.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Do They Care? No, They Don’t. Here’s Why.

We should be used to this by now: a new record low approval rating for Congress. Only a tenth of us think they don’t suck. But do they care? No, they don’t.

Hell, some of them even think they suck:

“Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.) told Bloomberg News that the latest poll results are what Congress deserves, and that he won’t be seeking another term in 2016.

“Why should it be that high?” he said of the Gallup ranking. “Look, we’re incompetent. I think it’s full appropriate.”

It’s so bad, even the party the controls Congress thinks they are über-suckiferous: most “Republicans” think their party’s “representatives” suck. But do they care? No, they don’t.

And here is why: two reasons:
Number A; most incumbents get re-elected, no matter how worthless they may be or what the poll numbers may say.
Letter 2: they pretty much do what those who bribe them tell them to do. (How else did do many of them become millionaires?)

The only “poll” Congress will listen to is the one that takes place on Election Day. And until we vote the bums out, they won’t care. No, they won’t care.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

The Astounding Hypocrisy that is The Tea Party

Rep. Jim McDermott pointed this out in a recent Congressional IRS-bashing hearing. As he says, “None of your organizations were kept from organizing or silenced. We are talking about whether or not the American taxpayers would subsidize your work. We are talking about a tax break.”

Wow. That puts the whole IRS/Tea Party scandal in a whole new perspective.

These anti-government activists were looking for government financing of their activities.

These anti-tax organizations were asking for tax money (that is what a tax break does).

These groups who hate government re-distribution of wealth were asking the government to re-distribute wealth to themselves.

Look in your dictionary under “hypocrite” and you’ll see a picture of the Tea Party if there is any justice in this universe.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Congress Deserves No Respect, Reason 500 Gazillion and Two

The “distinguished gentleman” known as Gohmert got busted for making s*** up and yelling said fertilizer at AG Holder yesterday. As you can see HERE, he did not take kindly to having his lies called out.

In fact, he was so angry, he accused the General of, quote, casting “aspersions on my asparagus”, close quote.

And they wonder why we mock them.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Coincidence? We Think Not.

Your humble correspondent had a snarky little revelation this morning: two words, seemingly quite different, but with a single meaning:

CONstipation: can’t pass anything
CONgress: can’t pass anything

In both cases, the inability to “pass” can be because of an obstruction, or a result of stuffing one’s self full of unhealthy junk that has no substantive value.

In both cases, the inability to “pass” can make a person crabby. Also, their discomfort can cause some odd facial expressions:

Nope, not a coincidence at all. Ladies and gentlemen, the reason our Congress can’t do much of anything: they are, literally and figuratively, full of s***.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Would You Re-Hire Someone Who Lied to You and Ripped You Off Before?

Especially if the former employee who had scammed you had another court case pending against him for other criminal acts?

South Carolina did just that yesterday.

Mark Sanford, disgraced former Governor and a confessed liar and thief, won an election yesterday. Tomorrow he will stand in court to answer for his further crimes of stalking and criminal trespass. That did not matter to the voters, who cast their ballots for him in spite of his criminal activities.

If one were running a taco truck, it is a fair bet that one would not make such a hiring decision. But handing over the keys to an entire Congressional district? Sure, why not? That is logic, Carolina style.

On behalf of all of the voters from Ohio and Florida, this blogger would like to say “thank you” to the voters of Sourh Carolina’s First District; you’ve proven yourselves to be an even bigger joke than us.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Congresswoman Miller: “This is not Rocket Scientry”

And they wonder why we call Congresscritters idiots?

Read or listen here.

Mr. B & C

When Doing Nothing Is What You Do

Recently we discovered that the House of “Representatives” will be giving itself about 2/3 of the year off. So they clearly don’t plan on doing anything for their six-figure salaries.

This morning, Mr. Blunt and Cranky heard a story on the news about how Dizzy City has gotten into the habit of forcing other agencies to do nothing. So the trend is being spread across the government, like mold through bread.

Mind you, the government doing nothing might not be so bad if we weren’t still paying full price. Most of us in the real world don’t get paid if we don’t work. But not “our” government, who take our money and provide little or nothing in return.

There’s a word for such people, who take our money under false pretenses and then fail to deliver as promised.

That word is “thieves”.

Mr. B & C

The Funniest Joke of the Week

Sometimes, people don’t even realize when they are being funny: that would appear to be the case with this hysterically funny congresscritter:Bob Goodlatte

In an interview about immigration policy, he actually said…give us a second here….oh my….sorry, this is so funny, can’t stop laughing long enough to type…

He said that the President needed to “back off and let the Congress do its work”.

Is that funny, or what? Congress? WORK? Stop it, man, you’re killing me…

Mr. B & C

Congress Has Some Truly Sick Priorities

First the good news: various and sundry politicos are finally thinking about creating a coherent national policy around immigration. Yay.

Now for the bad news: the reason progress is occurring because the “Republicans” got their crotches kicked in during the last election, and they want to curry favor with the Latino vote.

If it were being done to enhance our national security; boost our economy; live up to the founding principles of our republic; or for some other worthy purpose, it would reflect well on Congress. But, of course, there is no concern about the country; only the desire to keep their cushy jobs and the bribes that come with them.

America’s priorities used to be noble things, based on principles and aspirations. Really. Read our founding documents. Now it seems the only priorities for our “representatives” are based on how deeply their snouts can be inserted into the hog trough of power, bribery, and fame.

Mr. B & C