Archives for posts with tag: Congress

Ultimate mastery of f-bomb dropping was on display in Congress yesterday as “Representative” Louie Gohmert (R:Bedlam) was whupping on the Attorney General during a photo op hearing. Louie whupped, and AG Holder whupped right back. Typical stuff, up to that point.

But then, at the end, General Holder threw a F-bomb right up the proboscis of the “distinguished gentleman”: he said, “Good luck with your asparagus.” That, Gentle Reader, is f-bomb usage of the highest order.

For those unfamiliar with Gohmert’s long and apparently intimate relationship with the noble stalk-like veggie, a refresher may be found here. On a previous occasion, Louie went all lizard-s*** on Holder, to the point that even other “Republicans” noticed the scaly fecality of his behavior (which tells you how crazy the man was acting). The good Mr. Gohmert got himself so waxed with wroth, he said this:

“The attorney general will not cast aspersions on my asparagus.”

Thus making himself even more of a joke than usual (which is pretty hard to do), and indeed, Gohmert’s pile of Asparagus jokes has been growing ever larger since that day. Asparagus this, asparagus that.

Thus allowing the AG to tell Louie to f*** himself, using “asparagus”. That, friends, is damn near Jedi Master-level f-bomb tossing. Truly magnificent.

It makes you proud of our public servants, doesn’t it?

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

And of course, he’s a big “family values” guy. “Representative” Vance McAllister, a “Christian” with a wife and five kids was caught on camera canoodling with a married staff member. Depressingly common behavior for “Republican” Fundagelicals, you’ll agree. And after he got caught, he decided to keep his cushy job and fire the woman with whom he was f***ing around. Sadly, that too is common.

Here is the likewise-common “values” campaign statement:

McAllister ran on a faith and family-based platform and featured his wife and five children in campaign ads. “Here at the McAllister house, we have a big family breakfast every Sunday before church. Kelly does the cooking, and I do the dishes,” McAllister said of his wife during a campaign ad. “It’s here in this house that Kelly and I worked to instill the values of faith, family, and country in our five children. If you will trust me with your vote, you can count on me to take those values to Washington.”

Here is a picture of him living his real values with Mrs. Melissa Anne Hixon Peacock:

20140408-135403.jpg

And here is (part) of what he said after getting busted:

Peacock has been “taken off the payroll in the past 24 hours,” according to The News-Star, who spoke with McAllister’s chief of staff. The congressman said that he will run for re-election, “unless there is an outcry for me not to serve, and so far there has been an outpouring of support, not for my actions, but for me to continue to represent the people.”

Dafuq? No, really, dafuq???? Two married people, both cheating on their spouses. One keeps his six-figure gig, and shit-cans the other. The Congressman keeps his gig and fires the woman he was using.

That, if you like, is “Republican outreach to women”. Females, you have been warned. The GOP will screw you big-time, whether or not they kiss you first.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Yesterday, your humble correspondent called a medical provider and asked for some supplies to be sent to chez Cranky. He was told that there would be a several-day delay: due to all of the newly-insured people that were getting medical care, they were having to order more supplies, and hire more help to meet demand. I replied that I understood,and thanked the harried woman on the other end of the phone.

After hanging up, a victory yell was heard by everyone on earshot: because, you see, this was proof that the Affordable Care Act is working. Here’s why:
Number A: lots of newly-insured people are getting life-saving medical care.
Letter 2: people are getting jobs to help provide care to the newly insured.
Thirdly: companies that make medical supplies will likewise have to add more staff, and order more raw materials, which means more jobs further down the supply chain.
Finally: all these increases will result in price reductions due to economies of scale.

The ACA is a long way from perfection, I grant you: but it also takes us a long way towards better health care for us all.

Proven by this example, and millions of others just like it, across the country. Thanks, Mister President.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Yes, that hypocritical parasite is lapping up luxury in Switzerland at our expense. This after telling unemployed Americans that there was no money for them.

It is time for America’s hard-working citizens to realize this truth: we send billions upon billions to these lying leeches in our taxes, and they blow our money on luxury trips, private barbers, and shovel millions of dollars to their billionaire buddies. And then they tell us that the country is broke. Bull-f***ing-s***. We aren’t broke at all. There is a lot of money there.

But the money is wasted and stolen by the “trickle-down” crowd in Congress. A perfect example: Cantor’s luxurious trip to Davos will cost more in a day than an unemployed person will get in six months.

Repeat: Eric Cantor’s luxurious trip to Davos will cost more in one single day than a REAL hard-working American’s unemployment benefits would cost for half a year.

Sick of Teapublicans yet? Then for crying out loud, stop f***ing voting for them.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

20131113-083522.jpgAs you may have heard, Congress’s approval rating just hit another record low: only nine percent of Americans think they don’t suck. It is hard to be disliked to a greater extent than that, but hey, they might be able to pull it off.

Of course, they COULD look at that chart up there, and by making a single change, raise their approval rating by 30 percent. That change? Why, doing their f***jng jobs, that’s all.

The 39% approval rating they had back in 2009 was not earned by their moral goodness; nor was it a result of diligence, comity, or even treating each other with much dignity and respect. It was earned by passing bills that needed passed, confirming appointments that needed confirmed, even though they were acting like ill-tempered toddlers much of the time. They worked, fought, debated, argued, and then compromised for the good of the country. You know, what COngress is supposed to do in the first place.

How about it, boys and girls? Would you like an approval rating close to that of Obama’s? Act like you did in 2009, and you’ll get ratings like you did in 2009. Or, keep on f***ing off and f***ing up, and see if you can get down to a 1 % rating.

Which would be weirdly appropriate, if you think about it.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Or, for that matter, anyone else you happen to sling such pejorative names at. No, the Constitution says “All men are created equal”. It does not carve out exceptions for religion, skin color, or gender, and it sure as Hell doesn’t exclude LGBT Americans. All means all.

So it is sad that a law saying that little bit of obviousness even has to be created in the first place, and it is even more depressing that it is likely to get shot down again by our elected “Republicans.” All means all.

Sad though the necessity may be, the law needs passed. Just like the laws banning discrimination based on skin tone, X and Y chromosomes, religion and physical limitations. And anyone who opposes such equality can suck on the Constitution. Equality for all, that is what it says.

AND ALL MEANS ALL.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Hell, we’re lucky it works at all. Here’s the budget request for building healthcare.gov. 10 billion dollars to build the online exchanges allowing those eligible Americans in a red or purple state to buy health insurance. The Teapublicans gave them 1 billion. And now, they are “outraged” that the online system isn’t working perfectly, and are demanding to know why.

It is pretty safe to say that a NINETY-F***ING PERCENT CUT IN FUNDING had something to do with it. Pretty darned safe.

Try commuting on 10% of the gas you need. Try getting by with 10% of the food you need. Try building a house with 10% of the lumber you need. How well is that likely to work for ya?

Hey, House Repubes- want to know why the website rollout sucked? Look in a friggin’ mirror.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Congress hasn’t accomplished f***-all since 2010. They tried and tried to destroy s*** instead of doing their jobs. And now, these useless moochers, these parasites, these pimples on the arse of our nation; these “representatives” are criticizing the ACA for only partly working. The chutzpah is truly breathtaking.

It’s like having Ron White tell you to lay off the Scotch.
It’s like having David Vitter call you a pervert.
It’s like having the Westboro Baptist Church call you a hater.
It’s like having Anthony Weiner call you a slut.

What’s worse, the “news” media are acting like this is acceptable and sensible. They are acting as though a load of do-nothing layabouts have the right to criticize someone else who is actually doing something, for not doing it perfectly.

This writer will pay attention to Repub criticism of the ACA as soon as said Repubs get off their obese behinds and earn their huge paychecks and bennies. And not one moment before.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

“The American people don’t want this bill” is a lie of truly epic dimensions, because the American people have voted FOR Obamacare, time and time again.

First, they elected Obama in 2008, and he ran on a platform that actually included even MORE health care than Obamacare delivered. That’s a vote for Obamacare.

Then they re-elected Obama in 2012, when he ran against Romney/Ryan, whose platform included ditching Obamacare. That’s a vote for Obamacare.

They also cast more votes for House Democrats in 2012 than they did for House “Republicans” (the Repubs kept the House via election rigging, gerrymandering, etc.) That’s another vote for Obamacare.

Every time Obamacare’s individual  provisions are mentioned in polls, they get huge public support. It’s just the word “Obamacare” that people view through suspicious eyes (and small wonder, given the smear campaign that Repubs have waged against  it over the years).

And that, Gentle Reader, is why the lie “The American people don’t want this bill” is the biggest Obamacare of them all. Yes, there are some people who DON’T want Obamacare, but they are in the minority.

The majority of the American People voted for Obamacare, loudly and repeatedly. It’s high time the “Republicans” respected the clearly-expressed will of the people, and get the hell out of the way if they don’t like it. Congress is supposed to work for US, not the other way around.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Not that he’s the only one, of course. “Republicans” like John Boehner and others have been spreading the same farrago of fraudulent statements 24/7 for quite some time now. But because Teddy Boi is such a cretin, and uttered those lies very loudly and recently, we’ll pick on him.

Here are the four lies du jour:”Obamacare is destroying jobs,” Cruz said. “It is driving up health care costs. It is killing health benefits. It is shattering the economy.” You’ve heard these lies before, and the “news” media just regurgitates them verbatim, with no fact-checking or correcting. Your Cranky Correspondent hereby presents the actual facts, and they DO prove that the “Republicans” are lying through their teeth, noses, ears, eyes, and every other orifice they possess.

Lie Number A: “Obamacare is destroying jobs.” Actual Facts Number A: Millions of jobs have been created since Obamacare was signed into law on 3/23/2010. Here’s the source: http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2012/news/economy/1206/gallery.Obama-economy/index.html

Lie Letter 2: “It is driving up health care costs.” Actual Facts Letter 2: Health care costs are increasing at a slower pace since Obamacare was signed into law on 3/23/2010. Here’s the source: http://kaiserfamilyfoundation.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/8466-employer-health-benefits-2013_summary-of-findings1.pdf

Lie the Third: “It is killing health benefits.” Actual Facts the Third: More people have been getting more and better benefits since Obamacare was signed into law on 3/23/2010. Here’s the source: http://obamacarefacts.com/obamacare-facts.php

Lie Number 4: “It is shattering the economy.” Actual Facts Number Four: The economy has been growing steadily and consistently since Obamacare was signed into law on 3/23/2010. Here’s the source: http://www.forbes.com/sites/adamhartung/2013/05/16/economically-could-obama-be-americas-best-president/

Spread this around, everybody. When so many people are lying so much, we need some facts to make sure that people are basing their decisions on truth, instead of the lies of Cruz and his compadres.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 858 other followers