This week, we have hundreds of Crowns O’ Polished Turds to hand out. Fortunately, it’s the slow season for the elves at the North Pole, so Mister Blunt and Cranky was able to make a deal.

And speaking of making deals, this week’s recipients can’t make one. Yes, it’s the partisan nimrods in Congress. Not only can’t they avert the Sequestration that will end up beggaring our troops, raising our food prices, and making the skies less safe: somehow, they can’t include their own paychecks in the massive cuts:

You see, the only way Congress can have its pay cut is for Congress to pass a law. And as we all know, if there is one thing that Congress CAN’T do…

Mr. B & C