Yes, as soon as Douche Duke announced that a loudspeaker would be used to anounce an upcoming Muslim church service, Billy Graham’s son went ballistic. Evidently, the loudspeaker in question would unleash some serious kinda Armageddon were anyone but Fundagelical “Christians” to utter a call to prayer via its Holy Electromagnetic Mechanism:

DURHAM, N.C. (AP) — Days after announcing that a Muslim call to prayer would echo from its historic chapel tower, Duke University changed course Thursday following a flurry of calls and emails objecting to the plan.

The original plan drew the ire of evangelist Franklin Graham, who urged Duke alumni to withhold support because of violence against Christians that he attributed to Muslims. Schoenfeld said emails and calls came from alumni and others in the community.

“As Christianity is being excluded from the public square and followers of Islam are raping, butchering, and beheading Christians, Jews, and anyone who doesn’t submit to their Sharia Islamic law, Duke is promoting this in the name of religious pluralism,” said a post on Graham’s Facebook page.

This writer fails to see how sending a few words over a wire, through a magnet and out via a paper cone could somehow result in rape, decapition, and general brouhaha. Apparently, the Douche Duke speaker in question is somehow imbued with magical, sanctified, religious powers that must be used only for Jesus-centric announcements. If one were to misuse the Holy Douche Duke Loudspeaker, Jihad would evidently be unleashed on campus.

Mind, when Douche Duke U already has a student porn star, academic misconduct, alleged rapes, and other edgy activities going on, so maybe they can’t be too careful about allowing any more sinful activity to somehow violate the Holy Loudspeaker. (They should also maybe consider changing the name of the Fuqua Business School to something less open to double-entendre. Just sayin’.)

Really, Duke? No, seriously, really? Only a total Douche would act like you are acting.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky