There is PLENTY of Money for Amtrak. Teapubbies Need to Stop Stealing it, That’s All.

For all of Little Johnny Boehner’s lying and denying, lack of funding DID in fact help cause the Amtrak crash, and it IS the fault of our “Republican” congress that those funds were cut. YOU CAN’T BUILD ANYTHING WITHOUT TOOLS AND MATERIALS, AND YOU NEED MONEY TO GET TOOLS AND MATERIALS.

Duh. Really, man, f***ing DUH. Hey, John-Boy: companies won’t give you stuff for free just because they love your tan, man.

And why does there appear to be no money to fund Amtrak (and myriad other critical infrastructure projects around the US)? Because “Republicans” robbed the Peter that is Transportation funds to pay the Pauls who are Teapublican millionaires and billionaires, that’s why.

You can occasionally find a rare honest Congresscritter who will admit that Congress didn’t adequately fund the safety mandates imposed on America’s railway system by that very same Congress. But Boehner, who is decidedly not at all honest, would rather bluster out non sequiturs than admit that he and his fellow Teapublicans are looting the lot of us blind to pad their offshore bank accounts.

Offshore accounts like those of defense industry types, to whom the Pentagon shovels extra hundreds of billions of dollars, even though it can’t even keep track of the funds it already gets.

Accounts like those belonging to charter school scam artists who profit handsomely, providing substandard and unaudited “educations” to our children, all the while stealing from the taxpayers and starving the public schools of funds that were SUPPOSED to go to said public schools.

Accounts like those belonging to Big Motherf***ing Oil tycoons, who rob us twice: at the pump AND when we pay our taxes.

It’s all a symptom of Teapublicans’ pathological anti-government idiocy. The idea that government is bad, bad, bad, oh yesyesyyes, soverybadindeed: even as they mulct that government, and by extension we taxpayers, of every scrap of money we possess. Seems like they should LOVE the government for providing their illegal funds, but NOOOOO…the “Republican” party that once created infrastructure (like the Interstate highway system) now hates the very idea of spending on public works.

 “The reason we don’t have beautiful new airports and efficient bullet trains is not that we have inadvertently stumbled upon stumbling blocks; it’s that there are considerable numbers of Americans for whom these things are simply symbols of a feared central government, and who would, when they travel, rather sweat in squalor than surrender the money to build a better terminal.” The ideological rigor of this idea, as absolute in its way as the ancient Soviet conviction that any entering wedge of free enterprise would lead to the destruction of the Soviet state, is as instructive as it is astonishing.

The money IS there, Gentle Reader – we have provided trillions of dollars for it via our tax dollars over the years. If Congress would spend public money to benefit the, you know, PUBLIC, we could have trains that run safely and quickly; we could have roads and bridges that are safe; we could have clean water, safe food, and all the other benefits we are supposed to already be getting for our hard-earned.

The only reason we don’t get what we pay for, and it IS the ONLY reason, is because Congress is robbing us blind, even as their theft kills us. Time to throw each and every GOP official out of office at the next election. Then prosecute them and get our money back. With those funds in hand, we can build the America we’ve already paid for; indeed, paid for several times over.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

The new Teapublican Congess is doing exactly what they said they’d do. Stop acting surprised.

Really, people, come on. A party full of corrupt, seditious, hypocritical, mendacious motherf***ers was given expanded power by America’s Idiot Electorate,and they are doing just what they promised to do. In the first day or so of “Republican” control, they have:

Number A, elected a KKK-loving white supremacist to a senior leadership position;

Letter 2, tried to destroy a vital part of Social Security,

Thirdly, tried to once again violate the Constitution’s separation of powers by pushing foward to a vote “approving” the Keystone XL pipeline.

And that was in a matter of hours, with lots more to come. Nobody should be surprised: all of these things (secessionism, classism, racism, corruption and greed) have been core GOPee values for decades now. They said, over and over, that they would gut the social security system, throw the environment in the crapper, oppress people of color, and steal our money to give to their 1% cronies. Now they are fulfilling their promises.

America, you knew this would happen, and most of you either helped it happen, or sat back and let it happen. Unless you, personally, were either: not allowed to vote; or voted so as to defeat each and every Teapubbie in each and every race when last you cast a ballot, it’s partly your f*** ing fault.

We are all about to suffer because many Americans are: stupid; evil: lazy; or some combination of the three. Just don’t try to convince this writer that you are shocked. You’re not. We all knew what it would mean if the Repubs took control, and now they have control.

We’re all about to be f***ed. They told us they would f*** us, and they are now dropping trou and bending the lot of us over their desks. Surprising? Not at all.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Repubs Impose the Nation’s First “Uterus Tax”. Most Eligible Michigan Voters are Responsible.

Yes, you read that correctly. In Michigan, women who are raped may not have an abortion if their rapist impregnates them. UNLESS they purchased what is being called “rape insurance” ahead of time. Result: women need to plan for being raped, and pay out of pocket in case they are someday raped. Your humble correspondent feels that “rape Insurance” is the wrong term. Really, it’s a tax on people who can become pregnant.

It is a tax on fertile women, levied upon their functioning uteri. A “Uterus Tax”.This is a 100% “republican” idea, pushed only by repubs, voted for only by repubs. Repubs have successfully imposed it upon women in Michigan, and plan to spread it across the nation.

America, you just voted to give the party behind such obscene ideas even more power than they already had. You voted for it, and you are getting what you deserve. Almost all eligible voters are to blame for such travesties as these.

Perhaps you didn’t vote? By not voting against the GOPee, you helped Repubs to win.

Perhaps you voted third-party? See above.

Perhaps you voted “Republican”? You stupid f***, you truly do DESERVE this. Hope it hurts, motherf***er.

The only people who are blameless are those who voted for the candidate with the best mathematical chance to beat a Teapubbie. Every other eligible voter within the locale involved in a Repub outrage bears some measure of responsibility for the outrage in question.

This is just the first example of what America asked for during this week’s election. Look forward to years more of such revolting results. And as you are subjected to these manifold obscenities over time, remember: America voted for this. America asked for this. America demanded this. AMERICA’S VOTERS MADE THIS HAPPEN. As the Politicos like to say, “elections have conesquences”.

Maybe we’ll learn our lesson. Maybe after we get f***ed so brutally, so often, so painfully, the country will learn to ignore the propaganda, respect the facts, and get out to vote in our best interests for a damned change. Maybe.

But for the foreseeable future, we will all pay, as a nation, for the sins of the majority of actual voters.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Ebola to Republicans: “Thank you!”

Mr. Ebola Virus held a surprise press conference yesterday, as you all know by now. Speaking and secreting to a room full of reporters, many of them sketchily covered in makeshift protective gear, Ebola lauded the American “Republican” party for their assistance in spreading himself across multiple countries in a short period of time. But enough of me yakkin’, let’s hear what the Virus himself had to say:

“Thank you all for coming on such short notice, I appreciate it. I gotta say, I am getting too much credit for the death and mayhem I have wrought upon West Africa, and now America too. It’s unfair of you to not give props to those awesome Teapublicans in America. Their budget cuts in the past helped degrade the world’s ability to fight me, and even better for me, they are still refusing to spend money to fight me.

It’s helping me, no question about it. They throw money at terrorists and such, but leave me free to murder and terrorize at will. It’s not bragging to predict that I will kill thousands more people this year than those pathetic loons in ISIS and Al-Qaida put together, and I couldn’t do it without pig-ignorant, medieval morons like Boehner, Inhofe and Vitter shafting the CDC, NIH, WHO, and everybody else who needed resources to prepare for my assault on the human race.

That’s all I had to say, really. Please keep ignoring me, don’t listen to experts, panic all you want, I live for that. And vote Republican, they are my biggest supporters!”

Sounds like “mission accomplished” once again, doesn’t it?

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

American “Christians”, you are NOT being oppressed. Repeat, NOT BEING OPPRESSED.

Here is the latest in a flurry of non-reality-based memes on the subject:

How wrong is it? Let us count the ways:
Number A: they are free to say grace over their meal. Nobody ever said they couldn’t. But the meme falsely implies that they are bravely taking a stand against some mythical oppressor who seeks to stop their prayer. There is, of course, no such oppressor, but that fact matters not at all to the Fundagelicals.
Letter 2: see anybody there pelting these hard-working public servants with atheistic tracts? Nope. Most Americans don’t much care who you pray to, when, how or why.
Thirdly: assuming that the promulgators of this meme consider themselves to be Christians, they should read Rebbe Yeshuah bar Joseph’s words in Matthew:6. You know, the words about not being phony and ostentatious in their prayer.

Odds are, the people depicted had nothing to do with the meme: just people saying grace before a meal. Good on them. It’s their right to do so.

The problem is with the yahoo prostletyzers who are using this ordinary picture to try and enforce their wingnut agendas on the rest of us. This writer wishes they’d spend more time reading their Constitutions and less trying to subvert it.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

The Ferguson protesters are a lot like our Founding Fathers:

They are upset about oppression, a non-responsive and discriminatory government, and taxation without representation. Yes, that is correct. The good people of Ferguson we see out there picketing and marching may not be dressed like, say, George Washington, John Adams or Thomas Jefferson; but their complaints are eerily like the ones identified in the Declaration of Independence.

Here is a good article on the matter. Ferguson is making up for revenue shortfalls by levying burdensome taxes and fees upon the populace; said charges not having the consent of the governed:

Traffic fines are the St. Louis suburb’s second-largest source of revenue and just about the only one that is growing appreciably. Municipal court fines, most of which arise from motor vehicle violations, accounted for 21 percent of general fund revenue and at $2.63 million last year, were the equivalent of more than 81 percent of police salaries before overtime.

And the fees are applied in a discriminatory manner, much like what King George did back in the 1770’s:

“If you’re black, they’re going to stop you,” the study quoted one traffic defendant as saying.

In 2013, 86 percent of all Ferguson police traffic stops involved black drivers, the largest share since the Missouri Attorney General’s Office began tracking the data in 2000. According to 2010 U.S. Census data, the city is 63 percent black and 34 percent white.

Got it? The local government is a minority oppressing the majority, and doing so via corrupt, discriminatory and violent means. Just like what sparked the American Revolution. The differences are minor when compared with the similarities.

And just like the American colonists, the people of Ferguson aren’t asking for anything unreasonable: to be treated fairly, have their rights respected, and to have a voice in how they are taxed by the government. Unfortunately, the local administration is likewise resembling its historical counterpart and therefore refusing to change its corrupt and mendacious ways. No way this is gonna end well.

If you repeat the mistakes of the past, you’ll repeat the consequences of those past mistakes. There may not be many powdered wigs to be seen on the streets of Ferguson: but then, when s*** was getting real back in 1776, not many of the American Revolutionaries were wearing them out in the streets, either.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky (whose ancestors were here before the revolution in 1776)

Ethnic Cleansing in Crimea, already? Yes.

Putin doesn’t waste time, that’s for sure. The new Russian overlords of Crimea are relocating the Tatars, just like they did back in the Soviet era that Vladdy-Boy still pines for. Like it says in the Moscow Times:

Ukraine’s breakaway region of Crimea will ask Tatars to vacate part of the land where they now live in exchange for new territory elsewhere in the region, a top Crimean government official has said.
The Crimean Tatars, a historic people of the region, were deported en masse to Central Asia by Soviet leader Joseph Stalin 70 years ago. Although many of them returned in the early 1990s, they were unable to reclaim the land they had possessed before their deportation.

Yep, just like in Kosovo, Germany, and colonial America, the people who the government dislikes are being dispossessed of their lands in the name of “social needs”. Russia is openly planning ethnic cleansing. Let’s say it again: RUSSIA IS OPENLY PLANNING ETHNIC CLEANSING.

No doubt all of the American Putinistas will now forswear their allegiance to St. Vladimir of Poot, right?

Oh, hell no. All those useful idiots will continue to deny, obfuscate, and pretend that it isn’t really the same thing as when it was done by, say, the Nazis or the Serbs; because, hey, Putin the shirtless bear-wrestler is doing it. Christ on an ICBM, you f***wits, wake the f***ing f*** up.

Another Trail of Tears is about to occur. Anyone who STILL supports Russia after this is one with the perpetrators of genocide. F*** anyone and everyone who does so.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Wingnuts called for Obama’s lynching. Now they claim to be oppressed victims.

Honestly, what a bunch of needle-dicked wussy mama’s boys  those “conservative” Teapublicans are. First they put up an image of our President with a noose around his neck, suggesting that he be assassinated and the date thereof be declared a national holiday. They took the picture down to try to cover their smelly asses, but they still got those stinky asses chewed. Then their Facebook page got hit by the Goat Hack, and they are now whining on their new facebook page about the Liberals who hacked the old one.

These pathetic little cowardly bits of pond scum need to nut up or shut up. They violated federal law by advocating the assassination of a sitting President. That is not “free speech”, that is seditious and anti-American criminal behavior. Being called on it does not make them victims, it makes them criminals.

This is something that has been popping up a lot lately – and by “popping up a lot” I mean to say, “picture a five-acre whack-a-mole game on Meth”. Right-Wingnut “Republicans” and other Teabaggers are saying a lot of racist, sexist, un-American trash that in some cases crosses the line into illegal speech, and then playing the Victim Card when their behavior is pointed out to them. So let’s hava a quick refresher on basic definitions:

“Victim” means “someone who has had a crime committed against them”. A “criminal” is “someone who commits a crime”. These racist, inbred, spelling-challenged, America-hating, mama-threw-away-the-baby-and-raised-the-afterbirth f***wits at “America-The Next Generation” fit the second category, not the first. They are aggressors, not victims.

Keep this in mind  when you are dealing with anyone, criminal or not, who: bullies;  acts in an intimidating manner; uses hate speech; or who is acting just barely within the law (people like Phil Robertson, Sarah Palin, and the like). They are not victims. They are the offenders, not the offended.

And whenever someone who is the offending party claims to be the injured party, we all need to call “bulls***” at every opportunity. Teach these cowardly little s***s the difference between a real victim and some gutless little weasel with a great big mouth and a teeny-tiny little pair. Let them know  which category they fall into, and that we know where they belong.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

You Can’t Move Forward if You Insist on Standing Still

You may not know this, but Medieval China was the world superpower in the first centuries of the second millennium. Yes, Southwest Asia and some of the Mediterranean and North African states had influence and wealth (Europe was in the Dark Ages for much of this period, and America had yet to be invaded by we honkies), but China dominated the civilized world, militarily and economically. Until the early part of the fifteenth century, that is.

In that time, China suffered several economic setbacks that threatened their economy and indeed the very state itself. So they pulled back, abandoned the empire they had spent centuries building, and embarked upon an isolationist period that would last for around 500 years. And during that time, Europe and the Middle East pretty much took over the world that the Chinese used to run: indeed, they took even more of the world and ruthlessly ruled and exploited it. Now China wants its old role back, and is having a hard time accomplishing that feat: because, while they slept, we took the planet and have no desire to hand it back to them.

Why is this interesting? Because America in 2013 is a lot like China in, say, 1423: having spent many years being bold and innovative, building and exploring, daring to do great things in the past, there is now a movement to haul ass backwards, or at least to hold still.

Look at our media figures and politicians: far too many of them preach a gospel of fear, ignorance and falsehood; Lies and panic-mongering, media manipulation, and hardly anyone talks about how destructive this is to our nation.

When this writer was a wee lad, America went to the moon. Yes, we did that. We did brave things, bold things, things that mattered to the world, things that were investments in our future.

Nowadays, America is being ruined by a load of greedy, cowardly, short-sighted poltroons. We couldn’t do an Apollo today, folks. We can’t even keep our roads paved properly or our bridges up in the air. We can’t even keep Grandma fed or Junior safe in his school. America is stuck.

And, just like China in the past, America is choosing to be left behind by the nations who still have a pair. We are dooming ourselves to has-been status. Many of our “leaders” aren’t leading us forward: they are doing the exact opposite, if they are in fact leading at all.

The supreme irony? China, having learned from its mistakes, is leaving America in its dust. Because America not only didn’t learn from China’s mistakes: we are repeating them.

Forward? No, backward march. Double time.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Under Prop 8, My Straight Marriage Would Not Be Legal

Yesterday, at the Supreme Court, the backers of California’s gay-hating piece of crap Proposition 8 (which outlaws marriage between people of the same gender) came up with this ludicrous bit of specious nonsense legal rationale to justify their hatred of gays support of the law: they claim that the only reason to get married is to make babies and raise them. The Supremes (literally) mocked this notion and the audience laughed at Charles Cooper, the poor schlub who had to try to sell the Court on this idea.

Mr. and Mrs. Blunt and Cranky are not on their first marriage: indeed, their children were pretty much grown and had flown the nest by the time they crankily tied the knot. And they cannot have more children (although to be honest, at this time of life, grandbabies are a lot more fun anyway). So, since procreation is the purpose of marriage, this would seem to mean that this marriage between two straight Americans should be illegal according to the Prop 8 Backers.

When pressed by the Justices, Mr. Cooper could not talk his way out the hole he dug with his legal reasoning. Which means that whether you are gay or straight, if you can’t make babies, the backers of California’s Existing Constitutional Law are saying that your marriage is illegal.

Fortunately, the Cranky Fam does not reside in Californ-ai-ay, but in Ohio. Unfortunately, Ohio also has outlawed same-sex marriages, and for all we know, the backers of that law think the same way as the whackadoodles who are backing the Left Coast Law. Which would mean that millions of Americans could wind up getting ripped off by the IRS, Insurance companies, and lawyers; just like gay folk get ripped off right now.

Think you don’t have a dog in the same-sex marriage fight? Think again, Gentle Reader. This type of reasoning, if allowed to stand, could put straight people in the same second-class-citizen status that gay people presently occupy in our nation.

Yes, maybe you should care because of basic human kindness, Christian charity or some such reasoning. This writer does. But let’s say you don’t give two s***s about the Gays, Lesbians, and Transgender individuals who are your fellow citizens: you should at least be aware that after these thinly-disguised Puritans take away the rights of GLBT people, they will take away yours next.

Want your marriage rights protected? Stand up for the marriage rights of others. As Thomas Jefferson said, “If we do not all hang together, we shall all surely hang separately”.

Mr. B & C