Hey, Whiny-Assed Secret Service Agents: Waaah.

Call the Waaaaahmbulance, because the iddy biddy widdle Secwet Sewvice has had its feewings awe hurted. They complain about their jobs, but since all too many of them are drunken, whore-mongering, arrogant, incompetent, seditious a**holes, it is hard to feel any sympathy for them. Just one example of their get-people-killed-so-they-can-get-laid culture:

A Secret Service agent jeopardized President Obama’s security by leaking where the president was going to be ahead of time to the Romney campaign during the 2012 election.

In the closing weeks of the 2012 campaign, a Secret Service agent was on the ground in a key swing state to coordinate security ahead of several campaign stops by the President. The agent, who was married, made advances towards a Romney campaign staff member.

A married Secret Service agent leaked the president’s schedule to impress a girl.

Of course, there are also examples of Secret Service inaction endangering the life of the President. For instance, this motherf***er is paying people to kill the President, and at the time of this writing, the Facebook page has not been taken down, nor has any action been taken against this man who has threatened to kill our Chief Executive. Indeed, this sort of sedition via assassination threat has become so common as to induce yawns.

They sin by commission and omission . The Secret service as a whole is at best incompetent and at worst a den of treasonous Teabaggers. So how much sympathy should we feel for them? Not much.

There are no doubt principled Secret Service agents who are dedicated and hard-working, and it is a shame that they are not rewarded for their efforts. But all too many of the USSS are too busy complaining about the Prexy, their pay, their hours, and generally whining 24/7/365, they cannot or will not do their jobs. F*** the lot of them.

Hey, all you whining right-wing SS agents: just f***ing quit your f***ing jobs if you don’t like it. Lotsa people would love to take your places, and THEY might not be mutinous, drunken Wingnuts who sleep with underage hookers.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Edward Snowden: The New, Improved Monica Lewinsky

Remember the 90’s? That was when a Dem got elected President, and the Repubs spent years manufacturing “scandals” so as to stop him from getting his agenda accomplished. Bulls*** allegation after bulls*** allegation, and finally one stuck to the wall: a stain on a gullible young lady’s dress, put there by our horndog Prexy Bubba. Finally, after years of effort, the “Republicans” had a scandal with which to distract the public and derail the administration’s efforts and policies. Oh, and to use to take the White House in 2000. Dirty politics, but effective. Even today, “Lewinsky” is a punch line.

Now we have another Democrat at 1600, and the Repubs have been working from the same playbook for his entire term. BS “scandal” after BS “scandal” has been thrown at Obama, and none has stuck. Not until Ron Paul supporter Edward Snowden decided to derail the administration. And he (or whoever he really works for) has upped the game considerably. Not just a stain or an “is” leaked at random moments: no, these releases of national security information are being timed to lead the media and the more gullible members of the public around by the nose:
* The initial “revelation” happened just after another attempted scandal was fizzling out,
* The “revelation” about spying on China came out right before Obama met with China’s leader,
*The “revelation” about spying on Russia came out right before Obama met with Russia’s leader, and then
*Right on cue, the son of the man Snowden supported in 2012 denounced Obama over the NSA “scandal”.

A well-coordinated and effective but of dirty politics, you’ll agree. And it will continue, because it seems to be working. Note that this writer is neither excusing Clinton’s pre-adolescent behavior with Ms. Lewinsky, nor is he standing up for the appalling breaches of privacy that the Bushies and their Patriot Act handed down to the present regime.

But, Gentle Reader, he IS saying that the “revelations” and “scandals” are part of a pattern of behavior that we have seen from the “Republican” party for many years now. Far too many of We The People are forgetting this, and allowing ourselves to be jerked around on the strings of various puppeteers, who are not doing this for the good of the country: no, they are doing this to stop Obama from getting anything done, so the Elephants can kick the Donkeys out of power once again. And it’s working, because far too many of us aren’t paying attention.

And if this disgraceful campaign of character assassination succeeds, you’ll have this latter-day Lewinsky to thank (or blame). Yes, the new and improved edition of a young naïf who hit their knees in order to “service” someone in a position of power. A punchline-in-waiting is he, aided and abetted by our national failure to pay attention when we are being manipulated.

The only question left is what sort of “stain” will be left on Mr. Snowden, and whether he can ever wash it away.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Lying Sack of S*** of The Week: Ted “Poopie Panties” Nugent

Normally, Mr. Blunt and Cranky awards a Crown O’ Polished Turds to the weekly winner of this contest. However, as will be seen, this recipient seems to have serious issues with s***, and it would be inadvisable to provide him with more than he already possesses. So, no crown this week, just the title.

Teddy Boi is a lying sack of s***: indeed, a sack full to bursting. The only question is which of his statements are lies, and which are not. You see, back in the 70’s little Teddy gave an interview in which he described his outlandish and successful efforts to avoid getting his little poop-covered butt shot off in Vietnam.
See the link below: the man used hard drugs, went without any sort of body cleansing for a month, and crapped his pants for days prior to his physical exam: the purpose? Why, to fake mental illness and so avoid the draft. Mr. Blunt and Cranky read that magazine at the time and recalls the interview quite well.

In more recent years, Theodore Crapped His Pants has been denying that he dodged the draft. The Selective Service records do seem to line up with the interview contents, but there is no 100% solid, documented proof either way:Snopes

One way or another, Teddy Turd Trousers is lying:
Number A; he did indeed take the coward’s way out and let other, more patriotic men go to Vietnam and die in his place while he smugly stayed home, pretending to be a brave man, and is now lying about it, or
Letter 2: he lied in that interview.

Either way, this bellicose, child-molesting, unsanitary, chickenhawk musical has-been is the Lying Sack of S*** of The Week. And never has a recipient been more deserving (or more sickening).

Mr. B & C

Stupid Wussy Right-Wingers Have No Nuts

We are all familiar by now with the cowardly Ted Nugent, who literally crapped his pants when he thought he might be drafted, yet talks a big game about guns and shooting other people (like the Prexy, for instance). What a sorry little needledicked pussy is Teddy Poopy Panties.

Turns out there are a lot of little Teddy Bois running around out there: Wimps With Tweets. These are tweets from momma-threw-away-the-baby-and-raised-the-afterbirth types who think that Presidential Assassination is great fun. Not that any of these zeebs would have the guts to do so.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky was around for the assassinations of both Kennedys and MLK, and the attempts on Reagan and Bush The Elder. None of these were funny. None of them were good. All of them were despicable crimes against people and our nation as a whole. The difference between then and now?

Why, back then there were far fewer hate merchants promulgating their filth on the airwaves, in print and via social media. The Limbaughs, Hannities and others of their ilk have made it ordinary and thus socially acceptable to shout violent hate speech 24/7/365, and so it is hardly surprising that others have chosen to emulate them.

Hopefully all of these chicken-shit big-mouthed tools will get a visit from the Secret Service, so they can further emulate Nugent by crapping their own pants in fear. It is probably too much to hope that they would grow a pair and perhaps even learn to speak in a responsible, adult, and rational manner.

Mr. B & C