Archives for posts with tag: Congressman

Mr. Blunt and Cranky, while strolling along the Internets recently, discovered this: Pretty much everybody hates Congress

In it you will find that Congress is ranked lower than cockroaches and other unpopular groups. Much is being made of how stupid they must be on the Hill, to keep doing things that make them unpopular even when poll after poll tells them that Americans view them as being only slightly better than Ebola.

“Haw haw haw,” we laugh, mocking those idiots in Dizzy City. “What fools they are to alienate the very people who must elect them some day”, we say. And make no mistake, our “representatives” do deserve all of the mud, dung, and brickbats that are sling at them.

So why, if they suck so badly, if they are so useless, if they are that stupid; why, then, were 91-f***ing percent of them re-elected this year?

Answer:the voters of their districts are the real idiots. Yes, gerrymandering; yes, vote rigging; yes, voter suppression; but at the end of the day, the voters need to boot the bums out.

Far too many American voters are unwilling or unable to make intelligent, thoughtful, rational decisions in the voting booth. So when you want to mock the stupid f***s responsible for the clown show on Capital Hill, most of us need look no further than the nearest mirror.

Because if so many people didn’t make such stupid choices when they vote,we wouldn’t have such a stupid Congress.

Mr. B & C

Mr. Blunt and Cranky has had a epiphany, and an enormous one if he does say so himself (and he does, yes he does): he has found something that Congress is actually good for. This might seem counter-intuitive, as our national legislators are aggressive, brainless, greedy, full of rage and bloodlust; indeed, they act purely out of rapacious instinct,with  no thought for anyone else’s welfare eave their own.

“So how,” we hear you ask, “is there anything good to be said about such wretched creatures?”. The answer is not so much in their being good: rather, it is the benefit we may gain from their manifold shortcomings:

Congresscritters and Senators would be the perfect defense against the Zombie Apocalypse. Think of it, people: zombies invade the Capitol and one of two things happen: they sense the absence of brains, and starve to death; or they sense a building full of a different sort of zombie, and  live peacefully among their own kind thereafter, two tribes of brainless sub-humans who are cut from the same rotten, moldy old cloth.

Yes, we just trick the zombies as they are apocalypsing, point them to Washington D.C., clear out the civilians in their path, and when all are present and accounted for build a huge honkin’ wall around Dizzy City. Then we in the rest of America can live happily ever after.

Hey, it’s not much, but at least we are starting the week on a somewhat positive note for a change.

Mr. B & C