Teabagging, Secessionist Texans are now BEGGING Obama to help them. Can you say, “Biting the hand that feeds you”?

We knew you could.

It was less than a month ago, you’ll remember, when bats***-crazy Teacessionists claimed Obama was a-gonna invade Texas because the military was gonna practice, well, military stuff in the state. (Use “The Google” and search “Jade Helm” for details.) The Governor and many other Texas Teabaggers (in government and out) called (as they often do) for secession, armed resistance, and all the usual loony Lone Star bellicosity we’ve come to expect from those needle-d***ed, pea-brained dips***s.

Never mind that such military exercises bring a load of cash to the state and local environs, never mind that those same politicos were screaming for more Federal soldiers to be stationed in Texas to combat illegal immigrants not so long ago: NoNoNo, the eeeevil Federals and that dirty Obaminator-In-Chief were just itching to take over Texas, yupyupyup. And them thar proud Texans were gonna fight tooth, fang and claw to keep them Federal types away. Yupyupyup.

Then came a natural disaster.

And then, as always, came the usual demands (from those same TeaTexBaggers, of course) that the recently-reviled Federals come in and save the poor, helpless, suffering state of Texas, pleasepleaseplease. Christ on a Stetson, really? No, seriously, really? What happened to the proud, self-reliant, “we don’t need no stinkin’ Obama” attitude of just a few days prior?

The same a**holes that recently claimed that FEMA was setting up death camps are now begging FEMA to give them the essentials of life. The same crazies who deployed the National Guard to fight the apparently evil U.S. Army are now begging that very same U.S. Army to come on into Texas and help them. Anybody else see the blatant self-contradictions at work here?

This writer knows a goodly number of Texans and is aware that many (and perhaps most) people in that state are neither Teabaggers nor secessionists. Indeed, the average citizen of any state is not going to be agreement with the political hacks that run said states. Lord knows, this writer is hardly in agreement with Kasich’s Korrupt Kronies, for example. So please, don’t go lobbing nonsense attacks towards your humble bloggespondent or start some silly-a**ed #NotAllTexans Twitterfest.

But let’s DO encourage all of the good, sensible, hard-working people in Texas to assert their rights and run the “Republican” jackalopes out of office at the first opportunity, replacing them with representatives that reflect the interests of the majority of the state’s residents. Then maybe the local, state and national governments can work as a team again, as the Constitution says they are supposed to. And we can stop treating Texas politicians like the jokes most of them are.

Until that happens, Obama will have to just keep on feeding the teabagging, secessionist, deluded, idiotic Texas mouths that bite him.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Repubs Helped Cause the Ebola Crisis. Time to Cure our Government: Vote Them Out.

Contrary to the screeches of the Panic Platoon, Ebola has not been the plague depicted in Rise of the Planet of the Apes (admit it: you thought of the end sequence when you first heard about the recent outbreaks in West Africa). Not even close. Everywhere that has the needed resources and good solid best practices were followed, the disease was brought under control quickly and competently.

The only countries that have not yet brought the virus under control are desperately poor nations that have been deliberately f***ed over by “republicans” and their counterparts elsewhere. The disease COULD have been controlled in Liberia, too, but some GOP senator might have wound up with fewer millions in his illegal offshore bank account had America shown some common decency and a wee bit of smarts. But NOOOOOOOooooo, the GOPee stole from the poor and gave to themselves, as is their wont.

So while the Chicken Littles and Admiral Akbar Brigade join their brethren in the Panic Platoon and generally freak out about Ebola in fine hair-on-fire fashion, let us focus instead on a real existential threat: the thieving Repub rat-bastards who caused the f***ing outbreak in the first f***ing place. There, friends, is a SERIOUS problem that needs solving.

And we can solve it. Get to the polls, and take your friends, enemies, frenemies. neighbors, church members, bowling buddies, bandmates, and everybody else you know with you. Vote against every single rotten, stinking son-of-a-bitch GOP candidate and show the lot of them to the door. You don’t have to like Dems (this writer doesn’t): you just have to hate the Repubs for killing so many innocents in the name of fattening their own wallets.

Beating any disease requires an accurate diagnosis and a solid treatment plan. We have done it for Ebola, now we need to eradicate modern Republicanitis before it “kills” the lot of us.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Teapublican Obstruction leads to Fewer Millennial Voters. Was that Planned?

It’s a fair question. Did Boehner and McConnell and all the other Kochsuckers work to cut down on Democratic voter turnout at the same time they stuck it to the Prexy all these years? It’s one way to interpret those falling numbers of Millennial voters:

And for a while, it didn’t look like millennials would need much convincing. As more members of this generation reached voting age, participation among young voters rose. The peak year was 2008 (52 percent). In 2012, the turnout among voters 18-29 dropped to 45 percent.

On top of that, the rate of voters under 30 who could say with certainty that they were registered to vote fell steadily after 2008, according to the Pew Research Center. By 2012, it hit 50 percent — the lowest number Pew has recorded going back as far as 1996.

Ashley Spillane, the president of Rock the Vote, says it’s no mystery why millennials, or any voters, would be turned off from the process: “Politics right now is really disheartening. I think it’s why you see in the polls that young people are not affiliating with political parties.”

Think about it for a second: right before the “Republicans” started their “f*** Obama and the voters he rode in on” campaign, youth voting numbers were frickin’ huge, because the kids believed change was possible. But after 6 years of deliberate Teabagger destruction of change, the youth of America are disillusioned and are disengaging. And Millennials tend to vote for Dems.

Coincidence? In these times? Yeah, right. There is no way to prove it, of course, but in the end it doesn’t really matter whether or not the GOP has been manipulating Millennials on purpose or just enjoying a fringe benefit of their racist, treasonous, corrupt plan to seize power.

It doesn’t matter for two reasons:
Number A: it is wrong to suppress votes, whether it is a primary or secondary goal, and
Letter 2: the way to fight back is to defy expectations, by voting.

Millennials, wake up: you have been played. Strike back by voting against every Repub in every race, every ballot, every election. Vote to show them you are smarter than they think you are. Vote, because they don’t want you to.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Supreme Court “Republicans” are helping to Steal another Election.

Ohio’s stinking “Republican” Secretary of State John (“Yes, the kind that pays for whores”) Husted has finally hit the US Supreme Court jackpot: the five partisan Wingnuts thereon are helping “Republicans” steal yet another election:

COLUMBUS, Ohio — The nation’s highest court on Monday granted an emergency plea from state officials to block a lower court’s order expanding statewide early voting days and times.

The court issued its order without an opinion or explanation, noting the court’s liberal Justices Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Stephen G. Breyer, Sonia Sotomayor and Kagan would not have granted the stay. Chief Justice John G. Roberts and Justices Samuel Alito, Clarence Thomas, Antonin Scalia and Anthony M. Kennedy voted to grant the stay.

Ohio’s disastrous 2004 election shows the state cannot operate an election on only one day, argued attorneys for the ACLU. In papers filed in Supreme Court on Saturday, they said early voting, including Sunday “Souls to the Polls” events, have become woven into the fabric of Ohio’s democratic process.

“That election [in 2004] resulted in waiting times to vote that stretched into the day after Election Day and failed to provide meaningful access to the ballot for tens of thousands of Ohio voters,” they wrote. “Ohio thus comes to court with dirty hands.”

And the Repubs amongst the Supremes, who illegally installed an illegitimate occupant (Bush the Lesser) to the office of the Presidency, have even dirtier hands. Hands they now proudly display, filth and bloodstains plain to see.

All pretense of legitimacy is now gone, and the Roberts Court has fully revealed its true intent: the permanent takeover of our government by their ideological “soul” mates and paymasters in the GOP. Surprised? You shouldn’t be.

The Teapubbies announced their intention to do so back in the 1970’s. In the Powell Memo, they laid out their plan to seize control of the media, the economy, and the government. Click the link and read it.

The only way, and by that I mean the ONLY F***ING WAY to save this country from the tender mercies of the Rightish Inquisition is for the rest of us to VOTE in this election. Vote against every Elephant on every ballot in every race. Take back the House and keep the Senate.

That way, some actual jurists can be placed on the Supreme Court, replacing the corrupt partisan Repub motherf***ers who just f***ed tens of thousands of us out of our right to vote.

Vote, vote, vote. Take all your friends and family too. Vote while you still can.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

America: Where Rapists Go On Raping and Their Victims Pay the Price

Anybody who thinks that a few days of attention by our ADD media has solved the Steubenville Rape Culture problem should take a look at this: Rape has been a problem for decades .

It turns out that rape has been epidemic in that town for many years,and has maimed or destroyed who-knows-how- many lives. One brave soul who has decided to share her story is Traci Lords, who was raped at the age of 10 in a field in Steubenville: and no one noticed, no one cared, no one helped, and no one brought her evil s***sack child-molesting rapist to justice.

In other words, pretty much what was happening in the more recent case. That is, until people from out of town decided to shine a light on the Rapist-Friendly town of Steubenville, OH. Had that not happened, it is likely that the victim would have paid for the crime and and the criminals would have gotten off scot-free, as has happened so often before.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky finds it highly improbable that Steubenville is the only town in America where rape (and rape of children and teenagers) is common and goes unpunished. He finds thus because he himself was raped repeatedly (as a young child) back in the 60’s: he has never been to Steubenville. He knows many other survivors of sexual assault, and none of them were raped in Steubenville. And none of them received any support from the adults in their respective communities, nor was any justice done to their raping motherf***er criminal abusers.

Americans are heaping shame and blame on Steubenville, and deservedly so. That town needs beaten repeatedly and severely until it wakes up and sees itself for what it is: a sick and shameful place that hates women, rapes women, and uses sexual violence to control women by keeping them in a state of terror.

While so doing, though, remember that other towns all over America are just as sick, and equally in need of being awakened to their sorry-assed, revolting nature: that being a place that tolerates rapists and punishes their victims.

Instead of just looking at “other places”, we must all have the courage to look under the rugs of our own cities: there are things swept underneath pretty much everywhere, and what we find will sicken us, and hopefully prod us into action.

Traci Lords came forward with her story. Mr Blunt and Cranky, though far less famous, has come forward with his. If everyone can come forward and shine a light on our “hidden” darkness, we might have a chance in Hell of making our nation into what it already claims to be.

For now, though, America is what it is: a sick nation that tacitly encourages rape, and blames the victim instead of the criminal.

Mr. B & C

Why the Steubenville Rape Crew Case Stinks to High Heaven

“Why, Mr. Blunt and Cranky, why are you hugely hacked off about the recent news of rape, conspiracy, and cover-up coming out of Steubenville, Ohio?” is a question that has been put to this blogger over the past few days. And a reasonable question it is, given how much else is wrong in the world these days.

The answer is simple: “daughters”. You see, the Cranky Family is blessed with more than one, and the thought that one or more of them could be:

* Fed a date-rape drug

* Dragged from house to house all night long and violated repeatedly and viciously by a load of walking s***acks;

* Left to be tortured and perhaps murdered while multiple “adults” in the community either looked the other way and/or helped these teenage raping sociopathic motherf***ers;

* Denied justice by the Sheriff, Police, Prosecutor and School Officials, all of whom were more interested in helping the criminal rapists than providing justice,

* And at last, her only hope of safety or seeing her abusers locked up was to found in a load of online hackers who had to violate the law in order to break through the criminal conspiracy of silence that kept her and other teenaged girls in a state of terror, wondering if they’d be the next victims of a entire city’s pathological obsession with a game centered around an inflated piece of dead pig;

All of these have the Cranky ticker working much harder than it should. Anger, nay, rage are the least of the emotions being felt here as we see how a good girl could be treated in such a fashion.

So, good people, put yourselves in this writer’s shoes, and tell yourselves that you would feel differently. He rather hopes you wouldn’t.

Here are the names of the adults who should have protected the girl: James Parks, Sheriff Fred Abdalla, Prosecuting Attorney Jane Hanlin, Head Football Coach Reno A. Saccoccia, and various parents, football boosters, bar owners and bookies.

Here are are names of the “Rape Crew” who appear to have committed these heinous, vile, despicable, revolting,  subhuman, filthy, disgusting crimes against humanity: Trent Mays, Malik Richmond:Michael Colin Nodiano; Evan Westlake;Charlie Keenan; Cody Saltsman; and Mark Cole.

May the Rape Crew and each and every one of their enablers themselves be violated, brutalized, raped, tortured and left for dead in a ditch. Just like the girl they did it to. Failing that, here’s hoping that the friends and relations of the girl use their ingenuity to deal with the responsible parties themselves.  Because as of right now, it sure as Hell doesn’t look like the responsible authorities are doing damn-all about the Rape Crew and their crime spree.

Mr. B & C

P.S. Go to this site for more information. It is sad that we have to rely on such sources, but there you are:http://localleaks.blogs.ru/2013/01/01/steubenvillefiles/

Lying Sack of S*** of The Week: Bitchy Mitchy McConnell

Or maybe he’s just plain crazy. Assuming he’s not, Mr. Blunt and Cranky hereby bestows this week’s Crown O’ Polished Turds upon the misshapen dome of the current Senate Minority Leader, the whiny-arsed bitch that is McConnell.

And how did he rise to the top of the heap in a week that had some truly epic lies told? The “distinguished gentleman” accused a polling firm (and perhaps the Prexy, too, by proxy) of making up poor approval ratings to hurt his future re-election chances.  Really. Not kidding. Use the Googlicious thingie to see for yourself.

Getting bad poll numbers could, indeed, indicate that one’s chances of being re-elected are not as good as one might hope. But instead of paying attention to data and seeing what he could do to improve his rating, this man chose to create a bizzarro conspiracy theory so as to distract from the facts. He should remember that even The Great and Powerful Oz couldn’t make the old “distraction trick” work.

Yo, Mitch the Bitch, we can see through your curtain of lies. Wear your COPT behind it, why don’tcha?

Mr. B & C

A Quick Brick Upside the Head to an Election Conspiracy Theory.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky hates hates HATES Conspiracy Theories. So when he heard the new one about those yahoo glory-hound hackers at Anonymous having saved the election by counter-hacking Karl Rove’s election-night hacking, he got ticked off. And later, he laughed. A lot.

Firstly: yes, it is possible to hack a vote tabulation device. And yes, it has happened. But the only way to do it in the timeframe required is to work for the company that owns the hardware and software that is being used. Exhibit A: the new software that was illegally installed on Ohio’s tabulation devices several days before the election, by the vendor, with the blessing of our SOS John Husted. That could well have been an attempt at a hack. But since it’s a black  box system, we’ll never know.

But there isn’t any way for an outside hacker group to get in there and deliver a counter-hack after the vendor put in his patch, for a variety of reasons. The only outside group that can beat a hack is the voting public. If the turnout exceeds the forecast amount by a sufficient margin, the hack either fails or is so obvious that the would-be-election-thieves don’t dare do it.

You want to thank somebody for the way the election came out? Thank your fellow voters. They deserve it.

Mr B & C