“Republicans”: Don’t Fix the Problem, Make it a Secret Instead.

It’s a reflex, really: anytime Teapubbies want to do a thing and some pesky thing like “legality” or “optics” interferes, they do the thing anyway, and hide it. Look in your dictionary under “Teapot Dome” or “Watergate” for some classic examples. But it didn’t stop there, Cranksters: here are three examples from recent American history, showing that the GOPee is all about them thar secret thangs:

Number A: Recently, a lot of drug companies (ya know, they exist to make money by saving lives) have refused to sell Ohio drugs if they’ll be used to end lives instead of saving them. This puts a crimp in the execution-via-lethal-injection process that is so beloved by “conservatives”. In short, it’s getting hard for the Gummint to kill people quickly and cheaply.

So, there’s the thing Teapubs want to do: kill convicts. Do they come up with a new way of doing this, or an alternative punishment? Nope. In Ohio, they are trying to pass a law that would hide death drug information instead:

State lawmakers are preparing to introduce legislation to address legal concerns about Ohio’s administration of the death penalty, likely including language to keep secret the names of sources of execution drugs. Batchelder said the legislation has been drafted, and he anticipated its introduction in coming days. He declined to offer specifics about what would be included in the bill, though he said it would address issues that have arisen from court decisions related to the death penalty. “We have a problem in the sense that some of the federal judges have held that our existing system does not provide due process safeguards for those who have been convicted of homicide,” he said.

Got that? The problem is that Ohio (like some other states) is unconstitutionally executing convicts. Do the Repubs seek a constitutional way to execute said offenders? Of course not, don’t be silly. ‘Tis far easier to hide their actions than to solve the problem at hand.

Letter Two: also in newly-Red-ified Ohio (motto: “As red as Ohio State’s Scarlet, as Confederate as Ohio State’s Gray”), Guv Kasich wanted to hand his Kronies a lot of Kash. Alas, that’s illegal. So, he set up a secret money-laundering scam called JobsOhio, and then added more secrecy when the public objected to having their collective pockets picked by a load of millionare motherf***rs. The link provides a good summary of the matter, sans cranky snark and lingua franca.

Thirdly: since it’s illegal for Parties to coordinate with “outside groups”, Repubs had a problem in the recent election cycle: how to, well, break that law and get away with it. The solution? A secret Twitter account, of course. Click the link there, it’s pretty f***ing outrageous s***.

Nor are these the only examples. ‘Twould take a hundred bloggers a hundred hours to document a hundredth of these crimes. They are sufficient to illustrate the situtation: the scumball “Republicans” that Americans have stupidly put in charge of 2/3 of our government are a load of uber-liars and thieves who are not only adept at hiding their crimes: they instinctively hide them. Trust them not a bit, Gentle Reader. Not a single bit.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Lying Sack of S*** of The Week: John Kasich

This week’s Crown O’ Polished Turds goes to Ohio’s Guv-bot, Little Johnny Kasich (a German name meaning “a case full of sickness”). You see, one of his first acts as Governor was to steal a load of taxpayer money and hand it to a clandestine crowd of cronies under the guise of a “job creation” scheme called “JobsOhio”.

Oh, and you don’t need to know where the money went, or how it was used. Trust the Kasich, who made his fortune from the very same financial collapse that took away our money. It’s all secret, but who would have trouble trusting the millionaire buddies of our millionaire governor? (Never mind that Lehman Brothers collapsed while he was managing director thereof, while he kept his own money.) Trust the Kasich.

Ahh, but sadly, not everyone trusts Little Prince John: he lashed out at people who have the gall to question the unaudited handover of taxpayer cash to a shadowy group of greedheads. Indeed, he accused the questioners of wanting to wreck the economy . A thief accusing his detractors of having sinister motives? That is one ballsy LSoS.

And then, just to show everybody he is committed to his plan of looting the public till and dumping our hard-earned into the offshore accounts of his pals, Kasich announced a plan to divert even more of our money to charter-school cronies of his. Once again, free money thrown over the wall to people who do not have to account for results, or even how they spent our money.

Yep, The Kasich is a liar as well as a thief: a most deserving recipient of this week’s honor.

Mr. B & C

Ohio Voters – Dumber Than the National Average

As Mr. Blunt and Cranky has previously opined, the 2012 national election results were a sight for sore eyes: the nation administered the gentlest of bitch-slaps to DC “Republicans” by electing just a few more Democrats. That’ll make it a bit harder for the Boehner Brigade and McConnell Minions to run roughshod over the wishes of the American majority. This should enable a wee bit of bipartisanship. Yay.

Ohio voters, on the other hand, displayed their usual blend of stupidity and selective amnesia by putting one party in complete and absolute control of the government. Yes, a purple state decided to make its government as red as red can get.

This after the Repubs did the following to the Buckeye State within the past two years: handed millions of dollars of public money to a bunch of Kasich’s cronies with no oversight; tried to screw police officers and firefighters out of their benefits; tried to restrict the right to vote; allowed gas wells to be drilled almost anywhere, including next to school playgrounds; and cut the budgets for almost everyone except buddies of Repub politicos. (Note: this is not a complete list.)

So after being boned in such a blatant manner, what did a large percentage of Ohioans do? Why, they decided to elect even more Repubs, so we can can get reamed even more frequently than we are already.

As the song says, “Eh, oh, way to go Ohio”. What a bunch of buffoons we are.

Mr. B & C