Teabagging, Secessionist Texans are now BEGGING Obama to help them. Can you say, “Biting the hand that feeds you”?

We knew you could.

It was less than a month ago, you’ll remember, when bats***-crazy Teacessionists claimed Obama was a-gonna invade Texas because the military was gonna practice, well, military stuff in the state. (Use “The Google” and search “Jade Helm” for details.) The Governor and many other Texas Teabaggers (in government and out) called (as they often do) for secession, armed resistance, and all the usual loony Lone Star bellicosity we’ve come to expect from those needle-d***ed, pea-brained dips***s.

Never mind that such military exercises bring a load of cash to the state and local environs, never mind that those same politicos were screaming for more Federal soldiers to be stationed in Texas to combat illegal immigrants not so long ago: NoNoNo, the eeeevil Federals and that dirty Obaminator-In-Chief were just itching to take over Texas, yupyupyup. And them thar proud Texans were gonna fight tooth, fang and claw to keep them Federal types away. Yupyupyup.

Then came a natural disaster.

And then, as always, came the usual demands (from those same TeaTexBaggers, of course) that the recently-reviled Federals come in and save the poor, helpless, suffering state of Texas, pleasepleaseplease. Christ on a Stetson, really? No, seriously, really? What happened to the proud, self-reliant, “we don’t need no stinkin’ Obama” attitude of just a few days prior?

The same a**holes that recently claimed that FEMA was setting up death camps are now begging FEMA to give them the essentials of life. The same crazies who deployed the National Guard to fight the apparently evil U.S. Army are now begging that very same U.S. Army to come on into Texas and help them. Anybody else see the blatant self-contradictions at work here?

This writer knows a goodly number of Texans and is aware that many (and perhaps most) people in that state are neither Teabaggers nor secessionists. Indeed, the average citizen of any state is not going to be agreement with the political hacks that run said states. Lord knows, this writer is hardly in agreement with Kasich’s Korrupt Kronies, for example. So please, don’t go lobbing nonsense attacks towards your humble bloggespondent or start some silly-a**ed #NotAllTexans Twitterfest.

But let’s DO encourage all of the good, sensible, hard-working people in Texas to assert their rights and run the “Republican” jackalopes out of office at the first opportunity, replacing them with representatives that reflect the interests of the majority of the state’s residents. Then maybe the local, state and national governments can work as a team again, as the Constitution says they are supposed to. And we can stop treating Texas politicians like the jokes most of them are.

Until that happens, Obama will have to just keep on feeding the teabagging, secessionist, deluded, idiotic Texas mouths that bite him.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

All the Current 2016 Presidential Candidates, in 15 Words or Less:

Bluntly and Crankily summarized, here are the likely candidates for President in 2016:

Bernie Sanders: If there are more smart people in America than the polls indicate, he’s in.

Hillary Clinton: Meet the new Democratic President, same as the old Democratic President.

Jim Webb: Might as well be a Republican.

Lincoln Chafee: Pretty much still IS a Republican.

Joe Biden: Good at calming shoulder rubs. Would like to calm the entire country.

Marco Rubio: Can’t even handle a water bottle. Wants to run an entire country.

Mike Huckabee: Optimistic hypocrite who doesn’t have the nerve to quit.

Ben Carson: All Brains. No Heart.

Ted Cruz: Because Birthers and Teavangelicals are complete idiots.

Rand Paul: Because Libertarians and Teabaggers are even bigger idiots.

Carly Fiorina: Proud of her failure in Tech, wants to proudly fail the entire country.

Chris Christie: Christ in name only. Still unindicted.

Jeb Bush: Helped steal the White House in 2000. Would love to do it again.

Scott Walker: Will destroy everything Americans hold dear. Will get votes anyway.

Donald Trump: Told his hair stylist, “You’re Fired!”

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Hypocritical Hillary Haters Are Hating, as Always

A Clinton candidacy always brings the lying rat bassets out in droves, and her 2016 bid is no exception. The Teapubbies have carefully timed the Scandalism Machine to try to sink her Presidential bid. Like they did to Bubba in 1992 and 1994. And when Hillary ran for Senate. And when she was confirmed as Secretary of State. It’s all about scandalscandalscandal, every single time. Never mind that all the millions of dollars the Right Wingnuts spent digging for dirt on the Clintons ever turned up was oral sex and cigar kink. (And that was on Bill, not Hillary.)

Knowing that Secretary Clinton would run for Prexy (like everybody else did, DUH), the “Republicans” have spent loads of taxpayer dollars on “investigations” that have turned up even less than they did in the 90’s. Undeterred, they are gleefully wasting our hard-earned on these witch hunts, shining bright lights on nothing and substituting innuendo for information. And getting lots of money and assistance for their smear campaigns from rich motherf***ers in and out of the media, foreign and domestic.

In the interest of Truth, Justice, and the Amercan Way, let’s turn those spotlights around for a wee minute and shine it upon HRC’s manifold accusers, and see what we find, shall we? Oh, we shall; yes, yes we shall.

Number A: The big Clinton Email Server “Scandal”. You know, the one where Hillary had a legal server that she used legally, and disclosed everything that was legally required? Yep. Not for nothing was “scandal” enclosed by scarequotes.
Turns out that the Teabilly who is leading the charge against Mrs. Clinton is doing the same damned thing. Yes, Trey Gowdy has his OWN private email server, not that you hear much about it. This writer had to go down five pages in a Google search to find it, underneath all the regurgitated Repub talking points that pass for “news” these days.

Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC), who heads the House’s Select Committee on Benghazi, is leading the charge in calling for investigations of Clinton’s email.

Yet it’s important to note that Gowdy maintains his own domain treygowdy.com. For example, one campaign contact email he used was info@treygowdy.com. While it’s not unusual to maintain such a thing particularly for campaign work, it’s not clear that Gowdy utilizes this email solely for political campaign work and not congressional tasks.
AlterNet asked Gowdy’s office through both a telephone inquiry followed up by an email communication to his press secretary about how he segregates work he conducts through his personal domain vs congressional work. We also inquired about where his personal email server is stored and how it is secured. We also attempted to contact Gowdy campaign manager George Ramsey, but he did not return our phone calls. 

Letter 2: How about that new blockbuster book about Clintonian “Corruption”, Clinton Cash? Wow, sounds like some pretty damning stuff, if you listen to the breathless panting of the “reporters” who are “covering” the story. Ermmm…well…no… Turns out Mr. Schweizer is a paid Republican operative, who was paid lots of money to write a bulls*** hit piece:

As Crooks and Liars pointed out, Schweizer’s Government Accountability Initiative, a 501(c)(3), is funded by three conservative powerhouse donors.
First up would be the infamous Koch brothers, who contribute to most of GAI’s funding through the Franklin Center, a “free market” organization dedicated to “democratizing journalism.” Also in play is another the Koch-run Donors’ Trust, a political “slush fund,” according to the blog.
Of the total $2.2 million received in 2012, $2 million came from the Franklin Center, the Koch-funded “watchdog” organization. Perhaps coincidentally, the Franklin Center also received a $2 million contribution in 2012 from Donors’ Capital, the sister organization to Donors’ Trust.
Next is the Mercer Family Foundation, headed up by the eponymous hedge fund magnate Robert Mercer. As Crooks and Liars noted, Mercer’s main targets are usually congressmen trying to roll back the power of Wall Street. Mother Jones reported that Mercer is currently the top bankroller for Sen. Ted Cruz’s (R-TX) presidential campaign.

Finally: Everybody remember when Hillary called out the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy (VRWC) and was roundly mocked for having done so? Well, gosh darn it and golly-gee-shucks, it existed then and has continued into the present day. Click the links for details.

Score from just the aforementioned wee minute of looking at the accusatory Teabaggers, Plutocrats and Pundits:
Hillary:3
Hillary Haters:0

This writer doesn’t much care for Hillary, any more than he he did for Bill. If he has to vote for her, he’ll hold his nose while so doing. But these Nixonian Ratf***ers need to be put in a cage with the rest of their rodent brethren to gnaw on each other, so that the political process can at least be slightly less infested with such vermin.

It sure would be nice to decide our 2016 votes based on facts, instead of lies spread by a load of paid “Republican” liars.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Falling Gas Prices prove, yet again, that Repub Supply-Side Economics is Bulls***.

Falling gas prices have recently created a huge demand-side boost to our economy. Millions and millions of dollars worth of boost: serious money. The increase comes from families having a few hundred extra bucks a year to spend on things other than filling their tanks. That is the free market in action, folks: consumers consuming, and by so doing creating jobs where they spend that additional money.

Classic, common-sense, evidence-based economics. People making additional purchases with the money they are saving because of lower pump prices. Demand-side economic stimulus via the private sector. Somewhere in the Afterlife, Adam Smith is shouting “See? SEE, motherf***ers? Who’s the man? I toldjaso!”

And none, repeat NONE of those falling petrol prices had Thing One to do with tax breaks for millionaires. No, oil prices are falling because of supply and demand. Once again, class, all together: “supply AND demand”. But of course, “republicans” don’t care about anything but the supply side. Because that side has all the friggin’ millionaires and billionaires that can (and do) buy Teapubbie Senators and Congresscritters.

This blog has ofttimes posted about the complete and utter failure of supply-side “economics”, and the laughable Laffer Curve that it is based upon. (Click the links, Gentle Reader, lots of supporting data to be found if you folllow the breadcrumbs.)

Once again, all of the Post-Reaganista bulls*** has been exposed, in all of its fetid, malodorous splendor. The American economy used to grow, before these dark days, because sensible adults recognized that all sides and strata of the economy are interrelated, and that we needed to manage supply and demand, the rich and the poor, and everything in between. But because of the Voodoo Wing of the “Republican” Party (and by that we mean, “the entire f***ing GOP”) focusing ONLY on the supply side, we have naught but deficts, crumbling edifices, and corruption all around us.

The positive economic effects of falling prices for the consumer prove, once again, that the Teapublican party is, as usual, completely full of s***. Almost as full of it as the idiot voters who voted for them, or failed to vote against them. But hey, enjoy the cheap gasoline while it lasts; until the Teapubbies find yet another way to steal those extra dollars away from us, and hand it back to their supply-side patrons.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

So, Obama plans to close the border, and tax the s*** out of undocumented immigrants.

And the “Republicans” are pissed off by this? Dafuq? No, seriously, daFUQ?

Obama is pretty much taking a set of classical Repub ideas and putting them into effect. Nothing all that drastic: they all boil down to law enforcement decisions. More cops, more prosecutions, more tax enforcement. Law and order.

Any Teapubbie who is shrieking and freaking over this Presidential speech is a liar and/or a f***wit. The Prexy is taking old-school Republican policies and putting them into effect, and the GOPee are acting like it’s TEOTWAKI.

But then, they did the same thing when he took their health care plan (the ACA), so it really shouldn’t surprise anyone that the lying sacks of s*** are doing it again.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

“Republicans” are VERY Different from Democrats, Day Two: Repubs Support Terrorists. Dems Do Not.

Another example of why the “no difference between the parties” line is a bunch of bulls***. Dems fight against Terrorists in word and deed, while Teapubbies talk a big game when it comes to law and order: but the Repub walk doesn’t match the talk.

Example Number A, take Cliven Bundy and his Moocher Militia, who violated even more laws than Bin Laden, but still got support from the GOP. In fact, not only do Repubs support Bundy’s sedition, they were lining up to get their pictures taken with him. And after members of the Bundy Bunch murdered some cops, “Republicans” said and did little or nothing  – except, of course, continued support.

Example Letter 2:  we see that Repubs love the Sovereign Citizen terrorists. The Justice Department calls these mutts the most dangerous security threat to our nation, but that doesn’t stop GOP politicos like LePage from including them in their inner circles, or granting them rights to carry weapons that scare the sh** out of law-abiding Americans. Hell, even when they commit terrorist crimes the Repubs don’t do much of anything about it.

Example the Third: always remember, Gentle Reader, Bush and his fellow Repubs allowed Bin Laden to get away with murder – the worst foreign terrorist attack on our soil, thousands dead, and the Tevangelicals said “meh”. They used hs face to whip up the population in a manner that even Goebbels would have envied. But while abusing his face, Repubs kissed his a**. Then, of course, they bitched about Obama, who brought Bin Laden to justice.

There we have it,  another example of the enormous differences between the two political parties.

Remember this when a Raging Righty or Loony Leftie tries to tell you that there is “little or no dfference”: that is a big, fat lie.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

The Forty-Year Hissy Fit (Why “Republicanism” is doomed)

When your Cranky Correspondent was a wee lad, there were Republicans (without quotes) with a sane, sensible platform that mentioned equality, living wages, economic sanity, and lots of reasonable ideals like that. And had the Republican Party remained sane, this writer might still be one (he was raised to be, after all). But then came Kent State and Watergate, and the GOP got spanked. Hard. So the Elephants got angry. Really angry.

That anger is the core of the modern “Republican” party, and once you understand that, everything about their behavior makes sense:

“Why do Repubs seem irrational?” Angry people aren’t rational.

“Why are so many Repubs trying to steal elections?” Because in their irrational anger, they see themselves as victims who are trying to take back what they think is rightfully theirs, never mind the law.

“Why do so many Repubs steal?”
See previous answer.

“Why do Repubs hate minorities, gays, foreigners, and other non-Repubs?” Because they see themselves as a uniquely and horribly wronged people, and if you aren’t one of them, you are the enemy.

“Why do Repubs want to destroy the Constitution as we know it?” Because that Constitution is what Nixon and the Republicans tried to subvert, and it was what was used to thwart their crime spree. Show me a crook who likes the rule of law. Good luck finding one: crooks hate laws.

The problem is, anger by itself is pretty limiting. Repubs have no agenda, only a raging, vindictive, spiteful urge to lash out at the rest of the nation (note: that “rest of” is in fact the majority). And no matter how much damage they inflict, how much wealth they amass, how much power they grasp, it will never be enough. Because all they have is anger. All they can do with that anger is attack.

And eventually, that pathological hatred and rage will be turned upon themselves (indeed, that has already started), eventually destroying the party and perhaps the country as a whole.

It’s too bad that Ford ruled out further spankings of Nixon and his cronies: perhaps that punishment would have taught the Repubs a lesson, but that ship has long since sailed. No, we are stuck with a petulant, spoiled, perpetually angry party that hates us all and is bent on punishing US in return for the slap on the wrist it got.

A forty- year Hissy Fit. A four-decade temper tantrum. And it doesn’t look like ending soon.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Attention, American Women: “Republicans” Really, REALLY Want You to be Stupid.

Almost none of the women that this writer knows are stupid. In fact, a preponderance of them are smarter than, well, stupid old white guys like him. And thank the Gods for that. The world needs more smart people. But the GOP has a desperate need for the exact opposite: they need women to become stupid. Lots of women. In a big hurry. But only until they cast a ballot this November.

You see, Repubs know that their War On Women has pissed off a lot of women. So now they are trying to find a way to fool women into thinking that the GOPee really doesn’t hate them, so that they can get a few more votes. And the way they’re going about it?

By f***ing women out of getting their birth control covered by insurance, and pretending that it is a “benefit”. Here is a good piece on the matter. A few excerpts:

A string of Republican candidates for Senate are supporting an issue usually associated with Democrats: increased access to contraception.
They’re supporting it on the road and in ads, like this one from pro-life conservative Cory Gardner:In it, he says he believes “the pill ought to be available over the counter, round the clock, without a prescription.”

The catch? OVER-THE-COUNTER MEDS ARE ALMOST NEVER
COVERED BY INSURANCE, that’s the catch. It’s Hobby Lobby 2: another way to screw women out of equal access to health care. At a stroke, they would further fatten rich people’s wallets and discriminate against women. Not that Repubs are admitting it. But even NPR has cottoned on:

Calling for an over the counter pill allows Republicans to support access to birth control while also supporting the right of corporations to avoid covering it. Getting the pill at a pharmacy without a prescription leaves insurers and employers out of the picture altogether.

Got it, Gentle Reader? We’re talking maybe hundreds of dollars a year that women would have to cough up. It’s a cynical ploy, and an insulting one at that. Add to that sexist, unfair, and any number of other perjoratives. Republicans hate women and have indeed declared war on them. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t act towards females as Ray Rice does in elevators (Offended by the comparison? Well, OK, maybe it’s unfair. After all, the “Republican” party has injured LOTS more women than Mr. Rice has).

Women are not deserving of such blatant and systemic hostility and abusive action from anyone, be it individuals or an entire political party. We all owe it to ourselves to vote the scum out of office. AND cover everyone’s health care without caveats.

We’re ALL smart enough to know that it’s unfair for men to get their Woody Pills covered while women can’t get their reproductive prescriptions paid for as well. Let’s act like we’re that smart when we vote.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Matthew 25 Updated: If Jesus were here today…

“When I was hungry, you cut my food stamps; when thirsty, you allowed my water to be polluted for corporate profit; when I was a stranger, you detained and deported me. When I was naked and vulnerable, without a job or income, you denied me extended unemployment compensation, holding it hostage to a political agenda. When I was ill, you refused to extend Medicaid; when I was in prison, you denied me justice in favor of revenge, and executed me.”

And the righteous replied,”When was it that we saw You hungry, thirsty, a stranger, naked, ill or in prison?” And He said, “Anything you did to one of these–however humble, poor and powerless–you did to me.”

This was submitted to the Cleveland Plain Dealer by Chester E. Ramey, and was published in their LTTE section on 1/19/14. And a better case against the Republicans cannot be made, in this blogger’s humble opinion.

What would Jesus do and say, if he were here today? Probably something a lot like this.

Give this a think, oh “Conservative Christians”. Give it a really good think.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

On this day in 1793, Marie Antoinette was beheaded. Fortunately for Teapublicans, America has no Guillotines.

The only punishment these latter-day Antoinettes are likely to suffer is the loss of their cushy DC jobs.  Like the French aristocracy of their day, Teapublicans are thumbing their noses at the populace, stealing our money, allowing children to starve and sick people to die, all the while laughing merrily at our struggles as they lead their gilded lives. The parallels to this writer’s ancestral homeland are obvious.

Congressional “Republicans” would have us believe that taking away the paychecks of millions of Americans and refusing to pay what is due to millions of others, crashing the economy and wrecking the government; all of these, the Teabaggers tell us,  are the “will of the people”.  Anyone possessed of even a moiety of their marbles would know that the will of the people would never be the theft of our money and the destruction of our way of life. But the Baggers, sad to say, haven’t so much as a shard of one of their marbles, and so they repeat the mistakes of Marie and Co.

Gentle Reader, when you next go to the polls, please use your votes to cut away Tea Party contingent from Congress. Unlike Marie Antoinette, they won’t die: indeed, a (metaphorical) electoral guillotine just might help our country to stay alive.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky