Putin has succeeded. Therefore, Russia will continue to take over more of its former colonies.

Toldjaso. Russia illegally stole the Crimean peninsula from Ukraine in order to increase Moscow’s wealth and influence. Lo and behold, the Russian state-controlled energy agency has taken control of gas and oil production in Crimea, thus shutting out other potential companies and countries.

“Gunpoint business deals”, we might call such operations: Russia is not doing anything irrational here. They are using military force to take control of the European energy market. Power, literally flowing from the barrel of a gun.

Yes, Putin’s Peeps are planning to commit massive human rights abuses in the area they have taken over. And yes, they are planning to swallow up more of the former Soviet Union, creating a greater Russia in the process. But there is nothing crazy about what they’re doing.

Immoral, illegal, unethical, inhuman, and despicable, yes. Loony, no. Putin and his renascent empire are acting with cold, pure, infernally logical intent as they seize land and power: power that will continue its accretion until the rest of the world punches Vladimir in the metaphorical nose and stops him.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Here is why Russia wants control of Ukraine: Money and Power.

Pretty much the usual reason for imperialist ventures. Vladdy-Boy is trying to hold onto the leverage he has over Europe (said leverage is the natural gas Russia exports), and as you’ll see below, Ukraine has a LOT of gas pipelines:

Now for the fun bit: other countries want to make money, too, so they would love to sell Ukraine some gas:

This is what Putin’s bitch stooge assclown partner-in-crime Yanukovic was trying to stop, and why he got run out of Kiev on a rail. And now Vlad is mad, sad, and bad, so he’s taking Crimea to sooth his hurted feewings. Plus to intimidate, and gain greater leverage to negotiate.

It’s all about money and power. It’s why the Shrub tried to take over Iraq, and it’s why Putin tried to take over Ukraine. No conspiracy theories needed.

As soon as Western companies started drilling gas wells in Ukraine, Russia’s power and influence were threatened, so Putin tried to take over: first via a puppet government, and now with guns.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

There is no Obama War on Coal, Gas, or Oil. None. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

One of the lies that is being peddled of late is an alleged Obama “War on Coal”. This is repeated for natural gas and oil, as well. The idea is that massive over-regulation by our commienazisocialistkenyanmuslimchristianhawaiianohwhatthehellcallhimeverynameinthebookandseewhatsticks President is somehow dejobbing coal miners and well drillers, causing poverty, blight, and maybe even gum disease. There’s a little problem with this scenario, however: it is not true. Not even a little bit.

It is true that coal output is down, and mining jobs are being lost (in some parts of the country). But it has nothing to do with President Obama (or Bush, or any occupant of the Oval Office): it has to do with the free market. Here’s how it works:

Due to the lightly-regulated natural gas market, lots and lots of gas wells got drilled in the past few years. So many, in fact, that the price of natural gas is lower than a politician’s moral standards. So low that lots of power plants switched from coal to gas to save money and earn bigger profits. Less coal being burned means less coal needs mined, so fewer miners are needed. That is the free market at work, and the government had almost nothing to do with it.

Gas drilling jobs are down, because the lightly-regulated market had so many gas wells drilled of late that the market price of natural gas is so low, it isn’t profitable to drill more gas wells. That is the free market at work, and the government had almost nothing to do with it.

Oil drilling jobs are up, and the United States is closing in on Saudi Arabia for the title of biggest oil producing nation in the world; because the lightly-regulated markets have created a surplus of well-drillers who used to work in the natural gas fields, along with new technologies and more available land on which to drill. Plus the price of oil is high, so it is profitable to drill. That is the free market at work, and the government had almost nothing to do with it.

In other words, the Republican ideal of a free market is responsible for the current energy market and the jobs associated therewith. The government (especially the President) cannot be blamed for the jobs that are lost, nor given credit for the jobs that are gained.

So if you’re spreading these lies about an “Obama war on fossil fuels”, STFU. If you’ve been believing the lies about an “Obama war on fossil fuels”, stop.  It’s a bunch of bulls***, like most things we hear from politicians and lobbyists.

Mr. B & C