Archives for posts with tag: duck

First of all, remember that Phil Robertson is himself a rapist, of the Statutory variety. He managed to avoid prison by marrying the 15-year-old girl he’d impregnated (possibly when she was only 14), but ask any father of a young teen girl how he’d feel about an adult male molesting her, and most parents would reach for their shotgun. And not to make him marry their child, either.

He also urges other men to seduce underage girls, thus making them rapists like him. Really? No, seriously, really? Could a man be lower than a molester of young women?

Yep, Phil can get lower than that. Low like world-champion-at-moral-Limbo low. He shared one of his personal rape fantasies at a prayer breakfast, with children in attendance:

I’ll make a bet with you. Two guys break into an atheist’s home. He has a little atheist wife and two little atheist daughters. Two guys break into his home and tie him up in a chair and gag him.

Then they take his two daughters in front of him and rape both of them and then shoot them, and they take his wife and then decapitate her head off in front of him, and then they can look at him and say, ‘Isn’t it great that I don’t have to worry about being judged? Isn’t it great that there’s nothing wrong with this? There’s no right or wrong, now, is it dude?

(Note: Phil said more, but this blogger will not reprint that vile filth. Even Jeffrey Dahmer wouldn’t have thought of some of Phil’s sick criminal sex fantasies.)

Of course, to Phil, rape is not wrong. He committed that crime himself and got rewarded instead of punished. He is not an Atheist, but he clearly doesn’t know right from wrong, even with his Teavangelical “faith”. Or maybe he loves him some rape because of said Teavangelical “faith”.

Gentle Reader, this is sick enough already; but it gets even worse. The audience of Vero Beach “Christians” did not object to Phil shouting his Rape Porn at their children: indeed, from the audio, it sounds like they were in agreement with him, showing their approval for said Rape Porn. Teavangelical parents liked having Duck Daddy telling their own children all about rape, decapitation, genital mutilation, and other truly revolting crimes.

That says a LOT about contemporary American “Republican” “Christians”. And what it says is not good, not good at all. Fathers, keep those shotguns handy. Whether the potential statutory rapist is an avowed Atheist, Christian or anything else. Rape freaks are rape freaks.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Both have said it straight out, Gentle Reader, so this is not Cranky hyperbole.  Let’s start with Ducky Daddy , OK? He said this to Sean Hannity just yesterday: “I’m just saying either convert them or kill them”. There’s video at the link if you don’t believe it.

ISIS, the “Too Crazy even for Al-Quaida Brigade”, kill people from other religions. And they have been doing it. Hopefully, Duckie Boy and his faux-redneck crew of TeaVangelicals aren’t doing THIS in their swamps (yet):

As previously reported, ISIS gave villagers the choice of converting to Islam or facing death. Everyone in the village, whose name is also spelled “Kocho,” chose conversion. Everyone, that is, except their sheikh.

The one man’s refusal was enough to push ISIS militants over the edge, Reuters reports. After looting the village, they loaded the men into buses and took them to the middle of the desert, where they shot them.

That, Cranky Nation, is exactly what “Christians” like Phil Robertson will do if they can take over. It’ll be “Kiss the Cross or be kissed by a sword”. Oh, and you had better be the RIGHT kind of Christian: Presbyterians are considered just as Hellbound as Moslems to crazy f***ers like the Ducksters, so this writer’s head would be rolling down the street, too. Likely yours would as well.

It’s time and past time to remind our country that we ALL have freedom of religion. Nobody should be threatened with death because of their faith. NOBODY. Nowhere. Never. Phil Robertson should take his Bin Laden Beard overseas and join ISIS. The murderous lunatic would fit right in.

Heck, he could star in the next video as he beheads a journalist. Even better propaganda value than a cowardly Brit who is too scared to take his mask off while killing bound, unarmed infidels.

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Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Because, according to his “logic”, the Duck Dynasty star is Hellbound, just like the gays he and his daddy love to hate. Gonna be hot and bright down there, boyo, so you had best be prepared. And that goes regardless of whether the hating is based on “Christian” readings of the Old or New Testament.

Young Willie dittoed his daddy’s ignorant statements recently, saying that the Bible says certain people are going to Hell, and that is that. And his faux-redneck family fully supports the literal interpretation of Holy Scripture. If they are right, this guy and his clan are heading for some third-degree brimstone burns themselves:

The list of Levitican Perdition Pronouncements may be found here. A cursory reading reveals the Ducksters to be huge vi-o-lators of this code:
They eat crawdads and other forbidden seafood,
They wear clothing made from mixed fabrics ,
They lie about who they are,
And a number of other forbidden practices like touching snakes, and so on. So Willieboy is on the Swampway to Hell, according to his own standards and beliefs.

But, you say, what of the New Testament? Glad you asked. Here is the bit of Corinthians that Phil and Willie claim to reference:

Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! Fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, sodomites, thieves, the greedy, drunkards, revilers, robbers—none of these will inherit the kingdom of God.

Since the Robertson “men” have chosen to pretend to be something they aren’t in order to make money, they are clearly prostituting themselves, are greedy, and robbing those poor gullible fools who give them money. So, they are likewise headed South, waaaaaaay down South. Hadesville kinda South. According to the very New Testament Scripture they themselves cite, and the Old Testament Scripture.

Gentle Reader, one of two things is true:

Willie and his Ducky Posse are all a-goin’ to Hell just like them icky-ucky LGBTQ peeps; and it’s gonna be  Sunburn Central down there, from all reports, or

The gays aren’t actually going there, because the Bible really doesn’t say what he and his Daddy Phil says it does.

Either way, listening to Willie  is probably a really bad idea, because it’s pretty obvious that  his head is firmly lodged in his alimentary canal. But he himself had better be prepared, just in case he’s right. Coppertone, Mister Duck. Lots and lots of it.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

P.S. Count the number of times Homosexuality is mentioned in the entire Bible. Less than ten. Now look at how many times Adultery is mentioned. Dozens.
These Fundagelicals might want to adjust their priorities. I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.