Uh, You DO Know that Obama’s Not on the Ballot, Right?

Just checking, because lots and LOTS of people are yammering on about him during this year’s campaign. Which is pretty f***ing stupid, because OBAMA CAN’T BE F***ING RE-ELECTED. The pundits and “news” types are all ratchet-jawing about the man, but in truth he matters not one bit for next Tuesday’s contests.

The Senatorial candidates matter. The Gubernatorial candidates matter. The House candidates matter. So too do the other state and local ballot options. They matter, and they matter a LOT. (For example, McConnell, Boehner, and a host of other politicos are up for re-election or de-election.)

By your actions you can help turn this country into a Red Hell or a Purple Patchwork (It’ll take a Helluva lot more than one election to turn America Blue). You can take away our rights, or give them back to us. You can enable us to: feed the kids or starve them; fight or cower; fix or ignore; pay or go broke; function or fall apart; all of these vitally important matters are in the hands of voters on November 4th, 2014.

But Obama is NOT on the ballot. We kinda need to ignore him when we hit the voting booth, because the people for whom we DO cast ballots can actually make our lives better or worse.At the very least, we need to focus on the people and issues that are on the table this coming Tuesday.

The media moguls and bribe artists would love nothing better than to have us focus on a lame-duck President: that enables them to play their sleazy shell games via distraction and misdirection, f***ing us over royally in the process. We The People need to see past the sleight of hand and focus on the task at hand.

Like Obama or loathe him, as you choose: but you can’t vote for him this year. Concentrate on the people you CAN vote for instead.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Repubs Helped Cause the Ebola Crisis. Time to Cure our Government: Vote Them Out.

Contrary to the screeches of the Panic Platoon, Ebola has not been the plague depicted in Rise of the Planet of the Apes (admit it: you thought of the end sequence when you first heard about the recent outbreaks in West Africa). Not even close. Everywhere that has the needed resources and good solid best practices were followed, the disease was brought under control quickly and competently.

The only countries that have not yet brought the virus under control are desperately poor nations that have been deliberately f***ed over by “republicans” and their counterparts elsewhere. The disease COULD have been controlled in Liberia, too, but some GOP senator might have wound up with fewer millions in his illegal offshore bank account had America shown some common decency and a wee bit of smarts. But NOOOOOOOooooo, the GOPee stole from the poor and gave to themselves, as is their wont.

So while the Chicken Littles and Admiral Akbar Brigade join their brethren in the Panic Platoon and generally freak out about Ebola in fine hair-on-fire fashion, let us focus instead on a real existential threat: the thieving Repub rat-bastards who caused the f***ing outbreak in the first f***ing place. There, friends, is a SERIOUS problem that needs solving.

And we can solve it. Get to the polls, and take your friends, enemies, frenemies. neighbors, church members, bowling buddies, bandmates, and everybody else you know with you. Vote against every single rotten, stinking son-of-a-bitch GOP candidate and show the lot of them to the door. You don’t have to like Dems (this writer doesn’t): you just have to hate the Repubs for killing so many innocents in the name of fattening their own wallets.

Beating any disease requires an accurate diagnosis and a solid treatment plan. We have done it for Ebola, now we need to eradicate modern Republicanitis before it “kills” the lot of us.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Have you touched an Ebola Patient’s Puke, Sweat, Sh*t, or Blood? If Not, You Don’t Have Ebola.

Hopefully, everybody will calm the f*** down now.

That’s because there has been no evidence that Ebola spreads between people through the air. Health experts repeatedly emphasize that human-to-human transmission requires direct contact with infected bodily fluids, including blood, vomit and feces.

And to infect, those fluids have to reach a break in the skin or the mucous membranes found around your eyes, mouth and nose.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

 

P.S. Here are some links to explain:

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/know-enemy/

http://www.npr.org/blogs/goatsandsoda/2014/09/12/346114454/how-do-you-catch-ebola-by-air-sweat-or-water

http://www.afro.who.int/en/clusters-a-programmes/dpc/epidemic-a-pandemic-alert-and-response/epr-highlights/3648-frequently-asked-questions-on-ebola-hemorrhagic-fever.html

 

To All the A**holes who are Insulting the Flying Ebola Nurse: Shut Your F***ing Faces.

Seriously, shut the f***ing f*** up, you stupid f***ing f***ers. That woman put her life on the line, played by the rules, was lied to by her employer and our government, and you s***sacks are insulting Her??? Jesus f*** ing Christ on a gurney, what a**holes you are.

How about blaming Thomas Eric Duncan, who lied about having contact with Ebola on his travel documents? He put hundreds of people at risk, ferchrissakes. Had he not lied, none of this would have happened.

How about blaming the numbnuts and nimrods at Texas Health South, who first discharged Mr. Duncan, and then made their staff care for him without proper protective gear for TWO F***ING DAYS, thus exposing dozens more people to Ebola?

Better yet, blame the f***ing CDC for lying about hospitals being ready, fumbling the ball repeatedly, and then allowing Ms. Vinson to fly, after she did the right thing and called them to be sure it was OK?

Come on. Amber Vinson is the ONLY person in this mess who is NOT to blame. But you s*** on her and give the guilty parties a pass. Shut it, until you get enough brain cells to be able to say something other than stupid f***ing s***.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Ebola to Republicans: “Thank you!”

Mr. Ebola Virus held a surprise press conference yesterday, as you all know by now. Speaking and secreting to a room full of reporters, many of them sketchily covered in makeshift protective gear, Ebola lauded the American “Republican” party for their assistance in spreading himself across multiple countries in a short period of time. But enough of me yakkin’, let’s hear what the Virus himself had to say:

“Thank you all for coming on such short notice, I appreciate it. I gotta say, I am getting too much credit for the death and mayhem I have wrought upon West Africa, and now America too. It’s unfair of you to not give props to those awesome Teapublicans in America. Their budget cuts in the past helped degrade the world’s ability to fight me, and even better for me, they are still refusing to spend money to fight me.

It’s helping me, no question about it. They throw money at terrorists and such, but leave me free to murder and terrorize at will. It’s not bragging to predict that I will kill thousands more people this year than those pathetic loons in ISIS and Al-Qaida put together, and I couldn’t do it without pig-ignorant, medieval morons like Boehner, Inhofe and Vitter shafting the CDC, NIH, WHO, and everybody else who needed resources to prepare for my assault on the human race.

That’s all I had to say, really. Please keep ignoring me, don’t listen to experts, panic all you want, I live for that. And vote Republican, they are my biggest supporters!”

Sounds like “mission accomplished” once again, doesn’t it?

Mr. Blunt and Cranky