The “Christian Right” is Wrong.

Proof may be found in Indiana, where a load of “Christian” hatemongers passed a law that basically makes anyone other than straight white Fundagelicals second-class citizens. True to form, these Teabagging legislators deny that they hate gays: nononono, they are merely protecting the “religious freedom” of fellow Teavangelicals. Riiiiiiiight.

It also can be found in Ohio, where a load of “Christian” hatemongers passed a law that basically makes anyone other than fetuses second-class citizens. True to form, these Teabagging legislators deny that they hate women: nononono, they are merely protecting the “rights” of unbornTeavangelicals. The fact that they laugh at stories of rape is meaningless. Riiiiiiiight.

Proof abounds in Michigan, where a load of “Christian” hatemongers are pushing a law that basically makes anyone other than Teavangelicals second-class educators.True to form, these Teabagging legislators deny that they hate non-“Christian” teachers: nonono, they are merely going back to the “true intent of education”, which was to teach kids how to read Scripture. Riiiiiiiight.

On and on it goes: from calls for a violent “Christian uprising”, to Teavangelical racism, and pretty much every sin listed in the Ten Commandments and the Greatest Commandment. These sickos crap all over the teachings of Rebbe Yesuah bar Josef while proclaiming their loyalty to Him.

This, Gentle Reader, is why the Constitution forbids the establishment of a government-sanctioned religion. Theocracies always crash and burn, spectacularly. Because they are based on premises of faith that cannot be proven.

Instead of being wrong like the Religious Right, let’s actually try being, you know, right. Let’s try actually treating all of us as being truly equal. Like the Constitution says.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

“War on Christmas?” Gimme a Friggin’ Break, OK?

The “Christian Right” is starting into its annual festive tizzy about how Baby Jesus is being dissed due to people uttering words other than “Merry Christmas” during the period of time between Halloween and New Year’s Eve. In reality, of course, there is no such “war on Christmas”, and has never been. You want the real story on the annual celebration? Here ya go:

When the weather gets cold and the days get short, people like to have a party, to lift their spirits. It’s been going on for, literally, thousands of years, all over the planet. Vis. and to wit:

In ancient Rome, it was called Saturnalia (or Dies Natalis Solis Invicti).
Modern American Hindus celebrate Pancha Ganapati.
Vainakhs celebrated Malkh.
Saxons celebrated Mōdraniht.
European-descended Pagans have a Yule holiday.
Persian-descended Pagans celebrate Shabe Yaldā.
Christians, of course, have Christmas.
The jewish people celebrate Hanukkah.
Slavic folk have been known to observe Malanka.

To name but a few. Get the idea? When all around is dark and dreary, we humans like to have some light and merriment.

So just because Christian missionairies in the British Isles decided to adapt some Celtic Pagan observances by inventing a birthday celebration for Rebbe Yeshuah Bar Joseph (AKA Jesus), and just because we Christian types happen to be in the majority in contemporary America, doesn’t mean other people in and from other cultures don’t have a right to party in the manner of their own choosing. We all need a bit of a pick-me-up when nature has us feeling down.

It’s gotten worse since Fundagelicals have decided to repurpose the celebratory holiday of Christmas into yet another evangelical outlet; because when religious people are looking for converts, they can get pretty militant. (See the Albigensian Crusade for another example besides the current ones.) Songs like “Mary, Did You Know” are perfect examples of this phenomenon. It’s no longer enough to wish the Savior a happy birthday and give gifts and charity to others: no, these proselytizeing latter-day Puritans are after your very souls. Damn your fun, they are on a mission!

Everybody, just take a breath and smile. Drive away the chill and dark with warmth and light. It’s what humans do. All of us. For all of our history. This writer loves the opportunity to liven up the blah days of a blah season, and doesn’t care what you call your party.

Call it “Bob”, if you want. It might prevent a few wars, or a few Fox News editorials at the very least. The reason for the season is: to help ourselves and those around us to be a wee bit happier.

So Happy Bob to one and all.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Duck Dynasty’s Robertson and ISIS: Both will kill you if you don’t convert to their religion.

Both have said it straight out, Gentle Reader, so this is not Cranky hyperbole.  Let’s start with Ducky Daddy , OK? He said this to Sean Hannity just yesterday: “I’m just saying either convert them or kill them”. There’s video at the link if you don’t believe it.

ISIS, the “Too Crazy even for Al-Quaida Brigade”, kill people from other religions. And they have been doing it. Hopefully, Duckie Boy and his faux-redneck crew of TeaVangelicals aren’t doing THIS in their swamps (yet):

As previously reported, ISIS gave villagers the choice of converting to Islam or facing death. Everyone in the village, whose name is also spelled “Kocho,” chose conversion. Everyone, that is, except their sheikh.

The one man’s refusal was enough to push ISIS militants over the edge, Reuters reports. After looting the village, they loaded the men into buses and took them to the middle of the desert, where they shot them.

That, Cranky Nation, is exactly what “Christians” like Phil Robertson will do if they can take over. It’ll be “Kiss the Cross or be kissed by a sword”. Oh, and you had better be the RIGHT kind of Christian: Presbyterians are considered just as Hellbound as Moslems to crazy f***ers like the Ducksters, so this writer’s head would be rolling down the street, too. Likely yours would as well.

It’s time and past time to remind our country that we ALL have freedom of religion. Nobody should be threatened with death because of their faith. NOBODY. Nowhere. Never. Phil Robertson should take his Bin Laden Beard overseas and join ISIS. The murderous lunatic would fit right in.

Heck, he could star in the next video as he beheads a journalist. Even better propaganda value than a cowardly Brit who is too scared to take his mask off while killing bound, unarmed infidels.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

The American Family Association Wants You to Steal Other Peoples’ Babies

In 2002, Elizabeth Smart was abducted and abused by a perverted, nasty, demented, sicko mother****er who claimed to be following the Bible.  Authorities, citizens and media figures of all sorts busted their asses to rescue the child and lock the rat-bastard scumbucket pedophile perpetrator up, as well they should have.

These days, the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer has issued a fatwa call to do the pretty much the same thing: kidnap children from their parents, because the Bible told him to tell you to do so.  But Americans are pretty much ignoring this incitement (although the cops might do a few things here and there when people actually heed the AFA’s calls to commit heinous crimes).

Q: Why are they so blasé about potential victims of kidnappings by these faux-Christian zealot scumbuckets? A: The Fischer King wants us all to kidnap kids from same-sex couples. The link below describes the sort of criminal activity that the AFA is inciting: a woman who betrayed her vows, violated court orders, traumatized her own child, broke many laws, and is now an international fugitive. She was aided and abetted in these apparently-ever-so-Christ-like crimes by a group of allegedly “religious” criminals:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/sns-rt-us-usa-crime-mennonitebre8751hl-20120806,0,5193449.story

Now we see two recent tweets that condone kidnapping, and incite people to commit such illegal acts:

 

 

 

Stealing children is so despicable, it is hard to imagine anyone supporting it. Oh, that’s right, the AFA demonizes gays, so it’s all good. Right. Uh-huh.

Hey, if this Fischer dirtbag happened to be a Moslem instead of a “Christian”, the FBI would already be waterboarding his ass. But since he’s a white “Christian” American male advocating the committing of crimes against gay folk, it’s apparently no big deal.

It’s just damned lucky for Elizabeth Smart that her parents were straight. If she had come from a same-sex family, she might still be suffering abuse, rape, and torture to this very day, because of the antediluvian attitudes of so many Americans.  It is also safe to say that Bryan Fischer would be defending the scumbucket child rapist who said he was following the Bible, tweeting on his behalf and so on.

People, listen up: children are wonderful, precious gifts to our world. No matter what you may think of their parents, kidnapping is a vile, horrific crime that traumatizes these innocent kids in ways we can hardly fathom. And anyone who advocates such a crime…well, let’s hope that Hell is even worse than we think, because anything less would not be punishment enough for Bryan Fischer, Brian Mitchell, Kenneth Miller, Lisa Miller, and anyone else who would rip a family asunder, scar an innocent child for life, and then claim that Jesus wanted them to do it.

Mr. B & C