“War on Christmas?” Gimme a Friggin’ Break, OK?

The “Christian Right” is starting into its annual festive tizzy about how Baby Jesus is being dissed due to people uttering words other than “Merry Christmas” during the period of time between Halloween and New Year’s Eve. In reality, of course, there is no such “war on Christmas”, and has never been. You want the real story on the annual celebration? Here ya go:

When the weather gets cold and the days get short, people like to have a party, to lift their spirits. It’s been going on for, literally, thousands of years, all over the planet. Vis. and to wit:

In ancient Rome, it was called Saturnalia (or Dies Natalis Solis Invicti).
Modern American Hindus celebrate Pancha Ganapati.
Vainakhs celebrated Malkh.
Saxons celebrated Mōdraniht.
European-descended Pagans have a Yule holiday.
Persian-descended Pagans celebrate Shabe Yaldā.
Christians, of course, have Christmas.
The jewish people celebrate Hanukkah.
Slavic folk have been known to observe Malanka.

To name but a few. Get the idea? When all around is dark and dreary, we humans like to have some light and merriment.

So just because Christian missionairies in the British Isles decided to adapt some Celtic Pagan observances by inventing a birthday celebration for Rebbe Yeshuah Bar Joseph (AKA Jesus), and just because we Christian types happen to be in the majority in contemporary America, doesn’t mean other people in and from other cultures don’t have a right to party in the manner of their own choosing. We all need a bit of a pick-me-up when nature has us feeling down.

It’s gotten worse since Fundagelicals have decided to repurpose the celebratory holiday of Christmas into yet another evangelical outlet; because when religious people are looking for converts, they can get pretty militant. (See the Albigensian Crusade for another example besides the current ones.) Songs like “Mary, Did You Know” are perfect examples of this phenomenon. It’s no longer enough to wish the Savior a happy birthday and give gifts and charity to others: no, these proselytizeing latter-day Puritans are after your very souls. Damn your fun, they are on a mission!

Everybody, just take a breath and smile. Drive away the chill and dark with warmth and light. It’s what humans do. All of us. For all of our history. This writer loves the opportunity to liven up the blah days of a blah season, and doesn’t care what you call your party.

Call it “Bob”, if you want. It might prevent a few wars, or a few Fox News editorials at the very least. The reason for the season is: to help ourselves and those around us to be a wee bit happier.

So Happy Bob to one and all.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Stupid Sacks of S*** of The Week: Log Cabin “Republicans”

Mr.  Blunt and Cranky is changing it up a bit this week: talking about stupid people instead of liars. And the stupid s***s of the week are the oh-so-trusting gay Repubs called “Log Cabin Republicans”. These deluded fools actually think that the “Republican” party will someday, somehow, perhaps with pookie magic and and witch/warlock assistance, develop a tolerance for homosexual, lesbian, transgendered,  and bisexual citizens. Indeed, they are so out of touch with reality that they are actively working to elect Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan, two people who really, really hate GLBT folk. A few samples:

“A Romney administration will protect traditional marriage and the rule of law and we will provide the Defense of Marriage Act the proper defense in the courts that it deserves.” (Paul Ryan, Focus on the Family, 10/2/12)

“The things you talk about, like traditional marriage and family and entrepreneurship, these aren’t values that are indicative to any one person or race or creed or color. These are American values, these are universal human values.” (Paul Ryan, Town Hall in Cincinnati, OH, 9/25/12)

Oh, and Romney? He spoke at the gay-hating Liberty University back in May.

Please, Log Cabin Repubs – pull your heads out of your arses and see the reality: these people will take your money and use it to take away every single civil and human right you have. And this writer will point at you and laugh when you bitch about it, because it’ll be partly your fault. Of course, he probably won’t have the opportunity: if there is any justice in this universe, the sensible, reality-based GLBT  community will rip the lot of you limb from limb for what you have helped do to them.

Mr. B & C