Archives for posts with tag: Franklin

Yes, as soon as Douche Duke announced that a loudspeaker would be used to anounce an upcoming Muslim church service, Billy Graham’s son went ballistic. Evidently, the loudspeaker in question would unleash some serious kinda Armageddon were anyone but Fundagelical “Christians” to utter a call to prayer via its Holy Electromagnetic Mechanism:

DURHAM, N.C. (AP) — Days after announcing that a Muslim call to prayer would echo from its historic chapel tower, Duke University changed course Thursday following a flurry of calls and emails objecting to the plan.

The original plan drew the ire of evangelist Franklin Graham, who urged Duke alumni to withhold support because of violence against Christians that he attributed to Muslims. Schoenfeld said emails and calls came from alumni and others in the community.

“As Christianity is being excluded from the public square and followers of Islam are raping, butchering, and beheading Christians, Jews, and anyone who doesn’t submit to their Sharia Islamic law, Duke is promoting this in the name of religious pluralism,” said a post on Graham’s Facebook page.

This writer fails to see how sending a few words over a wire, through a magnet and out via a paper cone could somehow result in rape, decapition, and general brouhaha. Apparently, the Douche Duke speaker in question is somehow imbued with magical, sanctified, religious powers that must be used only for Jesus-centric announcements. If one were to misuse the Holy Douche Duke Loudspeaker, Jihad would evidently be unleashed on campus.

Mind, when Douche Duke U already has a student porn star, academic misconduct, alleged rapes, and other edgy activities going on, so maybe they can’t be too careful about allowing any more sinful activity to somehow violate the Holy Loudspeaker. (They should also maybe consider changing the name of the Fuqua Business School to something less open to double-entendre. Just sayin’.)

Really, Duke? No, seriously, really? Only a total Douche would act like you are acting.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Lots of people are bleating and shrieking their displeasure over the current state of our government: mostly loons on the Far Left and Far Right. But they do make a lot of noise, and sensible people might assume that where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Just to make sure they don’t do anything stupid (like believe these nutjobs), here’s the list of grievances against King George (no, not Bush. The other one.) from the Declaration of Independence.

See if they sound like they’re happening now:

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

A long read, yes, sorry. But guess what, Cranky Nation? Nary a single one of these offenses has been committed by the Obamabots. Not. One.

And if we can’t even come up with one grievance from this long list, maybe we’d best listen to these words from the second paragraph:

“Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes;

People, calm down. Yes, we need to get up and vote a bunch of incompetent, corrupt, extremist buffoons out of office as soon as we can, but America is still beautiful, we are still free, and it’s OK to stop panicking and enjoy this national holiday.

From the Cranky Family to each and every one of you, Happy Independence Day.

Mr. Blunt andCranky