Archives for posts with tag: Funding

Mr. Ebola Virus held a surprise press conference yesterday, as you all know by now. Speaking and secreting to a room full of reporters, many of them sketchily covered in makeshift protective gear, Ebola lauded the American “Republican” party for their assistance in spreading himself across multiple countries in a short period of time. But enough of me yakkin’, let’s hear what the Virus himself had to say:

“Thank you all for coming on such short notice, I appreciate it. I gotta say, I am getting too much credit for the death and mayhem I have wrought upon West Africa, and now America too. It’s unfair of you to not give props to those awesome Teapublicans in America. Their budget cuts in the past helped degrade the world’s ability to fight me, and even better for me, they are still refusing to spend money to fight me.

It’s helping me, no question about it. They throw money at terrorists and such, but leave me free to murder and terrorize at will. It’s not bragging to predict that I will kill thousands more people this year than those pathetic loons in ISIS and Al-Qaida put together, and I couldn’t do it without pig-ignorant, medieval morons like Boehner, Inhofe and Vitter shafting the CDC, NIH, WHO, and everybody else who needed resources to prepare for my assault on the human race.

That’s all I had to say, really. Please keep ignoring me, don’t listen to experts, panic all you want, I live for that. And vote Republican, they are my biggest supporters!”

Sounds like “mission accomplished” once again, doesn’t it?

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Why? Because Dems believe in spending money on FEMA, disaster recovery, and state/local police, EMS and fire departments. Romney, Ryan, and the Repubs in the House (and many states) do not support such “immoral” spending on dead, dying and devastated American Taxpayers. Do some googling, you’ll see what Mister Blunt and Cranky means.

The Dems in the Administration and both houses of Congress have actually worked diligently to fund FEMA and other disaster recovery line items in the budget. (There. A positive thing was said about a political party. Happy?) If you’re feeling a wee bit nervous about Hurricane Sandy barreling up your kazoo, take that into account when you cast your ballot.

This writer works with cops on a daily basis and is related to a whole raft of nurses, EMTs, and counts even more among his social circle. He thinks that anybody who will run into a burning building, charge into a hail of bullets, or jump into the ocean to save the lives of complete strangers is a hero, and should be given the tools they need to do their jobs; not nickel-and-dimed out of their budgets by a bunch of vote-grubbing suits in some legislative chamber.

Today, the only legislators who are reliable votes for funding these heroic and indispensable people are Democrats. Sad to say, but true. So if you want someone to save your ass when it really needs it, you’d best be voting for the Donkeys.

Mr. B & C