Cranky’s First Law: Whenever a Politician accuses someone else of immorality, they reveal their own Iack of morality.

The whole Teabagger Meltdown over Caitlyn Jenner is just the most recent example of hypocritical moralizers with their own secretly amoral lives: for instance, the many-times-married, closeted gay foghorn Rush Limbaugh lambasted her for, well, being a her. Mike Huckabee responded to the Vanity Fair photo of Ms. Jenner by extolling the joys of showering with underaged girls. And so on. And on. AND on.

Every time a politico excoriates an opponent for conduct unbecoming, we come to find out that they have a related skeleton in their own closet. Like “pro-lifer” Scott DesJarlais, who pressured his own wife and mistress to get abortions. Or David Vitter, who hates all sex offenders except himself? Or the crew of Congressional Sluts (Hastert, Hyde, Gingrich, et. al.) who prosecuted Bubba in Blowjobgate?

Sometimes, a fiscal hawk can indeed be a good money manager. And some defense critics actually have served in combat. But never will you see a preachy poltico or pundit rant and rail about dah gay, or women’s healthcare, or anything related to sexual morality who doesn’t have his or her own little secret sex life. Usually one that they are pretending to hate.

Put another way,Orin Kerr recently said these few pithy words:

“If I understand the history correctly, in the late 1990s, the President was impeached for lying about a sexual affair by a House of Representatives led by a man who was also then hiding a sexual affair, who was supposed to be replaced by another Congressman who stepped down when forced to reveal that he too was having a sexual affair, which led to the election of a new Speaker of the House who now has been indicted for lying about payments covering up his sexual contact with a boy.”

Cranky’s First Law has been proven. NEVER trust a politico, pundit, or plutocrat who claims to hate ANY sort of sex or gender-related activity. Sure as eggs is eggs, they are down with some serious private (and mayhap illegal) naughtiness of their own.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Rob Portman: Proof that Teapublicans only Care about themselves, and their three “F”s.

Those “F”s being:
Families,
Friends and
Financiers.

Teapublicans only care about their own little groupings. They regard the rest of us with indifference at best, or malevolent disdain at worst. GOPee Senator Rob Portman exemplifies this characteristic: he only started supporting gay rights after he found out his son was gay.

Before that, Portman hated him some gays, oh yes, he did. And Portman still hates the poor, women who have sex, and pretty much everyone else except for himself and his 1%, Teapublican Friends, Family and Financiers. It was only when the issue harmed one of his own Family members that he “saw the light”.

It’s not just Portman, of course:

* Mike FHuckabee hates criminals and wants them all to burn in hell for eternity, except for his own son and admitted child-molester Josh Duggar. Them, he wants to get a pass. Because they are in his immediate Family/Friends.

* Rand Paul, who deplores government interference in our private lives when it’s the NSA tapping his Family’s phones, but loves the government telling women what to do with their reproductive organs.

* Teapubbies who hate Obamacare until they or their Families get sick.

* Anti-Government Teabaggers who want the same Government they hate to help them out if they fall on hard times.

* “Small Government Republicans” who want Big Government to pay their Defense Contractor Friends. Or Oil Business Friends. Or Bribing Bastard Friends.

And so on. All these effing “F”s. “Republicans” care only about their own personal Friends, Families, and Financiers. Not the citizens, not the taxpayers, not the voters. Only their own little cliques of “F”s.

Once you understand that, you’ll understand why Repubs constantly act against the interests of their constituencies. And then you’ll understand why you need to vote them the “F” out of office.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Looking for Morality and Ethics? Look to the Gay Leather Community.

Your humble bloggespondent spent the past weekend supporting a family member at an event hosted by a gay leather group. And, as always, the degree of respect, honesty, integrity, and community service pervaded the gathering to an extent never experienced in, say, a church, legislature, boardroom or other such environment.

Think about that, Gentle Reader. The “others” outclass the “normals” when it comes to the values we all profess to hold dear. Hard work? Check. Truthfulness? Check. Ethical conduct? Check. Strict moral code? Check.

In fact, these taxpaying citizens, for all that they are marginalized and shunned by America’s mainstream culture, are in fact exemplary members of that culture. That doesn’t surprise this writer, who has many good friends in the gay leather community.

But it’s a fair bet that many heads in the straight world just exploded after reading the preceding paragraphs.

Think about that, Gentle Reader. Those among us whom we are told to despise are in many respects people we should be emulating. Those the Teavangelicals would have us execute for being gay actually better exemplify the teachings of Jesus than do most right-wing “Republican Christians”. The gay leather community as a whole is a safer, more trustworthy place than just about anywhere else in this country.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

(P. S. – You know what almost never got mentioned? Gay sex. Indeed, you will hear far more talk about gay sex from “Christian” Fundagelicals or on Fox “news” than you ever will at a gay leather event.)

The “Christian Right” is Wrong.

Proof may be found in Indiana, where a load of “Christian” hatemongers passed a law that basically makes anyone other than straight white Fundagelicals second-class citizens. True to form, these Teabagging legislators deny that they hate gays: nononono, they are merely protecting the “religious freedom” of fellow Teavangelicals. Riiiiiiiight.

It also can be found in Ohio, where a load of “Christian” hatemongers passed a law that basically makes anyone other than fetuses second-class citizens. True to form, these Teabagging legislators deny that they hate women: nononono, they are merely protecting the “rights” of unbornTeavangelicals. The fact that they laugh at stories of rape is meaningless. Riiiiiiiight.

Proof abounds in Michigan, where a load of “Christian” hatemongers are pushing a law that basically makes anyone other than Teavangelicals second-class educators.True to form, these Teabagging legislators deny that they hate non-“Christian” teachers: nonono, they are merely going back to the “true intent of education”, which was to teach kids how to read Scripture. Riiiiiiiight.

On and on it goes: from calls for a violent “Christian uprising”, to Teavangelical racism, and pretty much every sin listed in the Ten Commandments and the Greatest Commandment. These sickos crap all over the teachings of Rebbe Yesuah bar Josef while proclaiming their loyalty to Him.

This, Gentle Reader, is why the Constitution forbids the establishment of a government-sanctioned religion. Theocracies always crash and burn, spectacularly. Because they are based on premises of faith that cannot be proven.

Instead of being wrong like the Religious Right, let’s actually try being, you know, right. Let’s try actually treating all of us as being truly equal. Like the Constitution says.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Apparently, Jehovah’s Witnesses are Going Commando.

See that guy? He is Anthony Morris the Third, and he thinks that wearing tight pants is some kinda Gay Weapon of Mass Destruction, or something:

A member of the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses has warned of the perils of tight trousers designed by homosexuals.
Anthony Morris III, a senior member of the Church’s leadership, said: “
“What’s happened now is that it’s really caught on more – the tight suit jacket and the tight pants. Better known as tight pants. They are tight all the way down to the ankles. It’s not appropriate. It’s not sound of mind.”
“The homosexuals that are designing these clothes – they’d like you in tight pants.”

So, old Tony the Third thinks that loose is the way to go? And that tight pants are somehow wrong? Then he must be in favor of going commando: after all, bikini briefs and jockeys are pretty tight, and boxers can get all bunchy, so the effect of wearing underwear of any sort would seem likely to just bring out the Gay In megaton quantities. And that seems somehow to be a Bad Thing, all that tight fabric around one’s wedding tackle.

Gentle Reader, when a dude from Jehovah’s Witnesses knocks on your door, you can take comfort in his not-at-all-never-ever-ever-gayness, and know that he is a true Commando for Christ, in every sense of the word. At least, if Tony III has anything to say about it. “Christian Soldiers”, take note of this change in your dress code and drill manual.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Preacher with Man-Boobs wants to outlaw Woman-Boobs.

This skidmark on the underwear of Christianity clearly has a great rack:

But having a nice pair up there isn’t enough validation for this preacherman. Evidently, he has an issue with female chests-perhaps because he secretly envies them? A sort of competitive instinct at work?

Whatever the reasons, this Fundagelical nutbar hates female nudity, and makes no bones about it.

An Ohio pro-family anti-abortion activist wants to ban all public nudity, including public breastfeeding, not just because he has a problem with female nudity, but because he’s convinced that it leads to “gay pride.”

Patrick Johnson, who’s the director of Personhood Ohio, called for a ban on all public nudity after topless dancers from a gentleman’s club protested at his church in support of strip clubs. Johnson’s church has campaigned against strip clubs and harassed customers for years.

“I am sick that women can legally bare their breasts to children and to married men against their will in Ohio,” Johnson wrote on his Facebook page after the protest.  He then told ABC, “I think when we allow women to flaunt their sexuality to the public, flaunt their nudity to the public, it’s harmful to marriage.”

First of all, “skin” is not “sexuality”. Whether it’s ol’ Patty Johnson that is mowing the grass while shirtless, flaunting his C-cup Man-boobies, or a suburban housewife who mows her grass shirtless because it’s too hot to do otherwise doesn’t make the lawn mowing a sex act. It’s just people taking care of the yard.

Nor is breastfeeding a sex act: if it were, a lot of people would be guilty of incest. Nope, it’s just a cheap and healthy way to feed an infant.

Male skin is not inherently less sexual than female skin (ask any gay man if you don’t believe it). Female skin is not necessarily sexier than male skin, either. It’s just the stuff that keeps all of our internal organs from falling onto the floor at inopportune moments. Hiding it serves no purpose.

Now, in this cretin’s diseased, violent, paranoid little brain, perhaps skin is sexualized. But since the rest of us are fortunate enough to not live in his brain, its contents should not dictate our actions. If he hates women and/or their breasts, he should Just. Not. Look. At. Them.

He has all the boobies he could ever want already, anyhow.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Evidently, Facebook is fine with domestic terrorist groups.

Here is the link to the American Insurgent Movement Facebook page. Here is one part of their “manifesto”, again openly displayed on Facebook at the time of this blog’s posting:

Description
AIM is a Pre-Constitutionalist Community that offers those who seek True Patriotism and are looking for absolute Freedom by doing the Will of God. Who want to restore America Pre-Constitutionally and look forward to stopping the Regime with action by bloodshed. To remove those by force whom don’t agree with the Restoration of the Republic…

Note that the terror group’s website (http://www.americaninsurgentmovement.com) has been pulled down, after the FBI found out about their leader’s plans for a bloodbath and caught him in the act. But his Facebook page is still up.

Facebook takes quick action to censor pages that advocate for LGBT rights, along with assorted liberal groups. Post a pic of two dudes kissing, and it’s likely to get your account yanked and the page disappeared, but advocating the violent overthrow of the US Government? No problem, says Facebook. Sedition, mass murder, treason, these are evidently cherished values at the House that Zuckerberg Built. But no pictures of icky gay kisses.

If you want a snapshot of just how f***ed we are as a society, look no further than Facebook’s tolerance of murder, and Facebook’s censorship of love.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Willie Robertson better pack a LOT of suntan lotion in his coffin.

Because, according to his “logic”, the Duck Dynasty star is Hellbound, just like the gays he and his daddy love to hate. Gonna be hot and bright down there, boyo, so you had best be prepared. And that goes regardless of whether the hating is based on “Christian” readings of the Old or New Testament.

Young Willie dittoed his daddy’s ignorant statements recently, saying that the Bible says certain people are going to Hell, and that is that. And his faux-redneck family fully supports the literal interpretation of Holy Scripture. If they are right, this guy and his clan are heading for some third-degree brimstone burns themselves:

The list of Levitican Perdition Pronouncements may be found here. A cursory reading reveals the Ducksters to be huge vi-o-lators of this code:
They eat crawdads and other forbidden seafood,
They wear clothing made from mixed fabrics ,
They lie about who they are,
And a number of other forbidden practices like touching snakes, and so on. So Willieboy is on the Swampway to Hell, according to his own standards and beliefs.

But, you say, what of the New Testament? Glad you asked. Here is the bit of Corinthians that Phil and Willie claim to reference:

Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! Fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, sodomites, thieves, the greedy, drunkards, revilers, robbers—none of these will inherit the kingdom of God.

Since the Robertson “men” have chosen to pretend to be something they aren’t in order to make money, they are clearly prostituting themselves, are greedy, and robbing those poor gullible fools who give them money. So, they are likewise headed South, waaaaaaay down South. Hadesville kinda South. According to the very New Testament Scripture they themselves cite, and the Old Testament Scripture.

Gentle Reader, one of two things is true:

Willie and his Ducky Posse are all a-goin’ to Hell just like them icky-ucky LGBTQ peeps; and it’s gonna be  Sunburn Central down there, from all reports, or

The gays aren’t actually going there, because the Bible really doesn’t say what he and his Daddy Phil says it does.

Either way, listening to Willie  is probably a really bad idea, because it’s pretty obvious that  his head is firmly lodged in his alimentary canal. But he himself had better be prepared, just in case he’s right. Coppertone, Mister Duck. Lots and lots of it.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

P.S. Count the number of times Homosexuality is mentioned in the entire Bible. Less than ten. Now look at how many times Adultery is mentioned. Dozens.
These Fundagelicals might want to adjust their priorities. I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

The difference between Uganda and Arizona? Not much.

Both states have governments that hate gay people (and anyone remotely resembling gay folk). Uganda’s legislature passed a bill making gay anything a crime, and their prexy signed it into law. Arizona also passed a law legalizing anti-gay hatred, albeit not quite as crazy as Uganda’s.

And lest you think there is no connection between a small country in East Africa and American Teavangelicals, think again. Right-Wing “conservative” “Republican” “Christians” helped get both bills passed. The difference is only of degree: in Africa, you can be killed or imprisoned. Arizona isn’t there yet, but give them time.

Kansas is pushing similar laws, as are other state and local governments, claiming that their “religious freedom” includes the right to oppress and kill anyone their snake-handling (or snake-oil selling) preacher tells them to hate. They forget that the Constitution gave the rest of us religious freedom, too, and most of us don’t really give a single owl pellet who loves whom nor how they love them, so long as we are left alone to likewise conduct our love lives without government interference.

The American West and the African East: havens of hatred. Please, everybody, how about passing some nice “mind your own damned business” laws for a change?

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

What do Putin and a child molester have in common?

A child molester gives a kid candy to gain their trust, and then commits horrible atrocities upon his victim.

Putin gave Snowden asylum to gain the trust of various political groups, and has since committed crimes against LBGT individuals and various political groups.

And just as gullible people will laud the molester for distributing sweets and turn a blind eye to indications of other disturbing behaviors, a fair few idiots on the Left and the Right are still praising Putin for giving Little Eddie a place to hide from the authorities and ignoring the human-rights abuses he has been committing.

Stop it, OK? One criminal molests little kids, and the other molests entire nations. Both wear masks that hide their true selves. Neither is admirable.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky