Duck Dynasty’s Robertson and ISIS: Both will kill you if you don’t convert to their religion.

Both have said it straight out, Gentle Reader, so this is not Cranky hyperbole.  Let’s start with Ducky Daddy , OK? He said this to Sean Hannity just yesterday: “I’m just saying either convert them or kill them”. There’s video at the link if you don’t believe it.

ISIS, the “Too Crazy even for Al-Quaida Brigade”, kill people from other religions. And they have been doing it. Hopefully, Duckie Boy and his faux-redneck crew of TeaVangelicals aren’t doing THIS in their swamps (yet):

As previously reported, ISIS gave villagers the choice of converting to Islam or facing death. Everyone in the village, whose name is also spelled “Kocho,” chose conversion. Everyone, that is, except their sheikh.

The one man’s refusal was enough to push ISIS militants over the edge, Reuters reports. After looting the village, they loaded the men into buses and took them to the middle of the desert, where they shot them.

That, Cranky Nation, is exactly what “Christians” like Phil Robertson will do if they can take over. It’ll be “Kiss the Cross or be kissed by a sword”. Oh, and you had better be the RIGHT kind of Christian: Presbyterians are considered just as Hellbound as Moslems to crazy f***ers like the Ducksters, so this writer’s head would be rolling down the street, too. Likely yours would as well.

It’s time and past time to remind our country that we ALL have freedom of religion. Nobody should be threatened with death because of their faith. NOBODY. Nowhere. Never. Phil Robertson should take his Bin Laden Beard overseas and join ISIS. The murderous lunatic would fit right in.

Heck, he could star in the next video as he beheads a journalist. Even better propaganda value than a cowardly Brit who is too scared to take his mask off while killing bound, unarmed infidels.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Willie Robertson better pack a LOT of suntan lotion in his coffin.

Because, according to his “logic”, the Duck Dynasty star is Hellbound, just like the gays he and his daddy love to hate. Gonna be hot and bright down there, boyo, so you had best be prepared. And that goes regardless of whether the hating is based on “Christian” readings of the Old or New Testament.

Young Willie dittoed his daddy’s ignorant statements recently, saying that the Bible says certain people are going to Hell, and that is that. And his faux-redneck family fully supports the literal interpretation of Holy Scripture. If they are right, this guy and his clan are heading for some third-degree brimstone burns themselves:

The list of Levitican Perdition Pronouncements may be found here. A cursory reading reveals the Ducksters to be huge vi-o-lators of this code:
They eat crawdads and other forbidden seafood,
They wear clothing made from mixed fabrics ,
They lie about who they are,
And a number of other forbidden practices like touching snakes, and so on. So Willieboy is on the Swampway to Hell, according to his own standards and beliefs.

But, you say, what of the New Testament? Glad you asked. Here is the bit of Corinthians that Phil and Willie claim to reference:

Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! Fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, sodomites, thieves, the greedy, drunkards, revilers, robbers—none of these will inherit the kingdom of God.

Since the Robertson “men” have chosen to pretend to be something they aren’t in order to make money, they are clearly prostituting themselves, are greedy, and robbing those poor gullible fools who give them money. So, they are likewise headed South, waaaaaaay down South. Hadesville kinda South. According to the very New Testament Scripture they themselves cite, and the Old Testament Scripture.

Gentle Reader, one of two things is true:

Willie and his Ducky Posse are all a-goin’ to Hell just like them icky-ucky LGBTQ peeps; and it’s gonna be  Sunburn Central down there, from all reports, or

The gays aren’t actually going there, because the Bible really doesn’t say what he and his Daddy Phil says it does.

Either way, listening to Willie  is probably a really bad idea, because it’s pretty obvious that  his head is firmly lodged in his alimentary canal. But he himself had better be prepared, just in case he’s right. Coppertone, Mister Duck. Lots and lots of it.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

P.S. Count the number of times Homosexuality is mentioned in the entire Bible. Less than ten. Now look at how many times Adultery is mentioned. Dozens.
These Fundagelicals might want to adjust their priorities. I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

“Libertarian” = “Whiny-Assed Hypocrite”

Three examples today of how Libertarians and their wannabees amongst the Teabagging and “Republican” communities behave in real life when things don’t go their way:

Number A:

This unemployed Libertarian is crying because the safety net he voted against isn’t there when he needs it. Yes, he hated that big government and its handouts when he was employed, but now that the shoe is on the other foot, he wants Congress to “have a freaking heart”. Sorry about your luck, Chuck: next time you vote, maybe you’ll be the one to have a freaking heart.

Letter 2:

Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson has been an advocate for deregulating horizontal drilling and fracking everywhere in the United States. Until it affected him and other rich Libertarians, that is:

Instead, the suit claims, the water company began building a 160-foot water tank, calling it “this monstrosity” that will “create a constant and unbearable nuisance to those that live next to it.” The tank will be constantly lighted, make noise and “create an attractive nesting spot for invasive species of bird and other animals,” the suit says.
And then it adds that the water company will sell water to drillers for hydraulic fracturing, “leading to traffic with heavy trucks” on nearby Farm Road 407, and “creating a noise nuisance and traffic hazards.”

Yep, deregulation for everybody but himself. Typical Libertarian hypocrisy.

Thirdly: We have the Libertarian’s fave “currency”, Bitcoin. This barely-regulated “money” appeals to the “ideals” of Libertarians, to the extent that the party now accepts them as campaign contributions. But now that the exchanges are collapsing due to the lack of regulation, investors of all political stripes are calling for, well, regulation.

When it comes down to it, Libertarians want all the benefits of the governments they pretend to despise: a safety net, clean air and water, and safety from criminals, to name but a few. They just don’t want to PAY for it, or to be bound themselves by “burdensome” regulations and laws. Hypocrites, in other words.

Screw all of those lying, smirking, two-faced, Libertarian sons of bitches. They should reap what they have sown, and learn the hard way that government is not always the problem (as their Saint Ronnie of Alzheimer claimed): sometimes, government can be a good thing. Let ’em deal with its absence and see how they like it.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Eric Cantor travels to Davos, using taxpayer funds that COULD have gone to unemployment benefits.

Yes, that hypocritical parasite is lapping up luxury in Switzerland at our expense. This after telling unemployed Americans that there was no money for them.

It is time for America’s hard-working citizens to realize this truth: we send billions upon billions to these lying leeches in our taxes, and they blow our money on luxury trips, private barbers, and shovel millions of dollars to their billionaire buddies. And then they tell us that the country is broke. Bull-f***ing-s***. We aren’t broke at all. There is a lot of money there.

But the money is wasted and stolen by the “trickle-down” crowd in Congress. A perfect example: Cantor’s luxurious trip to Davos will cost more in a day than an unemployed person will get in six months.

Repeat: Eric Cantor’s luxurious trip to Davos will cost more in one single day than a REAL hard-working American’s unemployment benefits would cost for half a year.

Sick of Teapublicans yet? Then for crying out loud, stop f***ing voting for them.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

For all of the stupid f***s who want to drug-test food stamp recipients:

One of the Congresscritters who voted for that measure just got busted on a cocaine charge. Really:

WASHINGTON — In September, Rep. Trey Radel voted for Republican legislation that would allow states to make food stamp recipients pee in cups to prove they’re not on drugs. In October, police busted the Florida Republican on a charge of cocaine possession.

“It’s really interesting it came on the heels of Republicans voting on everyone who had access to food stamps get drug tested,” House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) told BuzzFeed Tuesday. “It’s like, what?”

This writer has long advocated the drug testing of politicos, and said so each and every time someone advocated such testing for the poor. Usually, people treat it as humor. But it is meant in all seriousness.

And now, hopefully, people will realize that it is not a joke. Unlike those stupid f***s who advocate drug testing the poor, but not the politicians who pass such laws. They, if you like, are the real jokes.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Ted Cruz has “no intention” of giving up his paycheck after he shuts down the government.

And here’s where he said so: http://www.statesman.com/ap/ap/texas/cruz-back-in-texas-after-much-watched-talkathon/nZ8f7/ That’s right – Grandma can eat cat food, war heroes can do without needed services…but Teddy Boy is still gonna take HIS share of the taxpayer’s hard-earned, yes he is.

Wake UP, people. This guy isn’t just a lying sack of S***, he’s corrupt, mendacious, greedy and just generally sleazy.

THIS IS WHAT THE TEA PARTY REALLY IS. GREEDY, THIEVING MOTHERF***ERS. And every time you vote for a Teabagger, you give them permission to f*** all of us, mothers or not.

Vote them out. Impeach them. Recall them. Use whatever legal means you possess to get them out of office.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Cuccinellingus

In the “you gotta be kidding me” department we have Virginia’s Attorney General and “Republican” gubernatorial candidate Ken Cuccinelli, a big government guy who wants to tell you what kind of sex you can have. Gay or straight, married or not, he has pronounced himself to be your Bedroom Police.

He is still trying to reinstate an unconstitutional ban on certain consensual sex acts between adults (hint: think “oral”, but leave out “Roberts”). Indeed, he is campaigning on that position. Evidently, Virginia is too much “for lovers” to suit the guy. Or perhaps he thinks there aren’t enough Virgins in Virginia.

Thus we have a sitting attorney general trying to re-enact an unconstitutional law. We have a “small government” guy promoting Big Brother government. And he claims he’s doing all this to protect us. Typical Big Government type.

Anybody who can tie their brain into those kinds of knots must be capable of some pretty awesome contortions elsewhere, too: so in honor of this closet kinkster, we propose a sex act to be named after the man: Cuccinellingus .

It just might catch on.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Why Drug Testing For The Poor is a Bulls*** Idea

Every time Mr. Blunt and Cranky sees one of those idiot Facebook posts about “drug testing welfare recipients”, his response is the same: first thing, let’s test the politicians. They get a lot more money than any poor schmuck, and can cause a lot more damage. And in the main, people applaud the idea of testing politicos. But they keep right on spouting the bulls*** “drug test the poor” idea.

So here’s one example of a hypocritical drug-test-the-poor politician : one Chuck Sims, just busted for his second DUI, and yep, a strong proponent of the aforementioned bulls*** idea. That idea, by the way, assumes guilt on the part of the recipient: and that drunken crook Mr. Sims is demanding that we assume that he is innocent. So we see that the whole drug-testing-the-poor campaign is a bulls*** idea, but people keep on spouting it anyway.

Another argument against the bulls*** idea is Florida,where the Guv pushed through a plan that failed in every respect. Oh, and one of his wife’s companies was getting paid to do drug tests under the law that Rick Scott signed. So again, a politician fails an ethical test that he thinks others should pass, but he keeps on spouting the bulls*** idea anyway.

There is almost no evidence that there is a problem with poor folk using public funds to buy drugs, but when does evidence enter into such matters? People keep on spouting bulls*** ideas anyway.

This writer will keep on insisting that our politicos, who can and scam we taxpayers out of millions of dollars, be the ones that we subject to drug tests, financial tests, and every other sort of scrutiny the law allows. And let’s realize that those “public servants” are getting away with all sorts of crooked activities, all the while distracting us with the bulls*** ideas that the vast majority of us believe and spout anyway.