Teapublicans are ALL Racist, Willfully Ignorant, Lying, Bullying Criminals.

Any dips*** who votes for a Repub supports those despicable actions. Yes. These hateful, stupid, violent, dishonest crooks would not be in office were it not for millions of bigoted, idiotic, abusive, dishonest, thieving asshat Teapubbie voters. So if you are or vote for a “Republican”, welcome to the ranks of the Pond Scum Society.

Doubt it? Five quick examples:
Racism: Airheaded Foxbot (a  redundancy, but, hey,  what the Hell) Kristi Capel recently decried Lady Gaga’s “jigaboo” music. Then claimed she didn’t know what the word meant. Ummm… grew up in Kentucky, won a beauty pageant in Missouri, works in Cleveland, and she doesn’t know from racial slurs? Riiiiiiight. That stench you smell is NOT roses, friends, but rather the dung that fertilizes them. She still has her job, proving that racism is acceptable to Repubs.

Willful Ignorance: Idaho lawmaker doesn’t know how babies are made. Or maybe he’s just even dumber than dumb when it comes to biology. Idaho State Rep. Vito Barbieri asked if swallowing a camera would show what was happening in a uterus. Does he think oral sex causes pregnancy, or that women digest via their vaginas? Either way, he, like “republicans” in general, is far too comfortable knowing nothing. He still has his job, proving that pig-ignorance is lauded by Repubs.

Lying and Bullying: Foxbot Bull Bill O’Reilly, who clearly kissed a lot of the Blarney Stone (underneath, in the dirt, with all the other dung beetles, worms and other s***-eating lowlifes) was trying to avoid answering questions about his, well, lies. He beat on the questioner with his bumbershoot, and then tried to get the person he assaulted charged. He still has HIS job, proving that Repubs love men who lie and commit violent acts against innocent people.

Criminals: America’s favorite bulky bully, Chris Christie (proof that naming somebody after the Savior, even when done twice, cannot make them good Christians) has been called out by a judge for stealing millions of dollars from pensioners. He still has his job, proving that Repubs love love LOVE crooked motherf***ers.

Seriously, can you find a truly decent and honorable Republican anywhere (dead ones don’t count)? This blogger was raised by old-school Eienhower Republicans, and there used to much to admire about the Old Party that was once Grand. Maybe not enough to make the Young and Cranky want to join up, but there were points to respect, others to debate, and generally one could engage in reasonably civil discourse with most Republicans, even during the Vietnam war, Watergate, etc. No longer.

The GOPee has become a completely valueless party, a vast organized crime syndicate, full of idiots, secessionists, traitors, crooks, liars and other people who would, in any just society, be locked up with the keys thrown far away, instead of holding the majority of control in our once-decent nation. The idea that half of all of us share those values makes this writer cringe whenever he goes overseas, because he KNOWs that the people he encounters will be asking about our f***ed-up government, and why the Hell we all let it get like this.

The answer is mystifying to them, and depressing to your humble bloggespondent: our government is the way it is, because voter action (and inaction) has made it so. The American electorate has repeatedly shown its approval for such mendacity, wickedness, cruelty, evil and corruption via the ballot box. So our government, far from being an aberration, is in fact representative of the people. Disgusting but true.

All Teapubusicles are rotten scumballs, each and every one, electors and elected alike. F*** the lot of them sideways, with a rusty file and a sandy lubricant.

But not much better are those manifold people  with principles who idly lie around, doing nothing about it but p*** and moan, when their collective votes could right these cataclysmic wrongs in a few short election cycles.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

The Problem is: it’s Perfectly Legal for Them to Lie to Us.

This always surprises people: the Courts have ruled that news organizations can tell lies whenever they choose. Freedom of speech, don’tcha know. Jane Akre, an award-winning Journalist, was hired by Fox News affiliate WTVT to be, well, a journalist. You know, someone who reports news.

To Fox’s surprise, she and her team found some news. News that one of Fox’s sponsors did not like at all. So Fox ordered her to put some lies in the broadcast, to keep the sponsors happy and the money rolling in. Ms. Akre refused, on grounds of professional ethics.

Fox then fired her and her husband; they sued, and the court’s ruling, incredibly, made it clear that there was no law requiring that news organizations provide truthful content. None. Nada. Zippo. Zilch. Lies are A-OK for those upon whom we rely for accurate reporting.

That ruling, as we look back, opened the Falsehood Floodgates the rest of the way for politicians and their BFFs in the Infotainment Industry. One may still sue for libel, although it is very hard to win and takes years. One may sue over a false advertisement, but those cases are likewise hard to win and take years as well.

Meanwhile, Fox and their compadres repeat their lies so often in the interim, the lies wind up being believed to be true by a large majority of Americans. A few recent examples: Benghazi, Obama’s birth certificate, and much of the Michael Brown coverage.

This writer loves him some First Amendment, yes he does. However, there is no reason not to be able to require that news providers at least put a label on lies: call ’em “editorials”, or “speculative”, or “unproved”. It would be better to make the lies illegal, but the Roberts court ain’t gonna outlaw lies. Not with the current load of Bushbots and Reaganistas forming the majority, anyway.

So, Gentle Reader, remember that you really CAN’T trust anything you read in the papers or see on the TeeVee. You are being lied to 24/7/365 by at least some of the “news” sources you have heretofore relied upon for information. You’ll have to keep a line open to Snopes, FactCheck, Politifact, and other such sources before you can believe Thing One the newsies tell you.

Because in modern America, it’s legal for rich corporations, “news” outlets and politicians to lie to you whenever they want, about whatever they want, however they want.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

“Cause of Death-Chris Christie’s Temper”?

It is possible. It now appears almost certain that governor Blowhard ordered the bridge closure to exact revenge on another politico who didn’t kiss the Christie ass.

The emergency services people aren’t coming out and blaming Guv Bully -and given what happens to people who piss him off, they are probably wise not to do so. But we do know this: because of his rage and petty political vanity, a woman with chest pains waited much longer for an ambulance than she should have. And shortly after the dedicated and hard-working EMTs were able to fight their through the Christie-caused traffic jam way to the poor lady, she died.

So the headline has a question mark in it, because we can’t at this point prove that Chris Christie’s idiotic pre-natal temper tantrum is the direct cause of her death. But then again, the headline has a question mark in it, because we can’t prove it WASN’T, either.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Lying Sack of S*** of The Week: Reince Priebus

The man must think we don’t have an Internet. “Republican” National Committee chair Reince Priebus would have you believe that he is appalled, just appalled with the notion of self-deportation, oh yes, how very appalled indeed. Click the link to see how appalled he claims to be. There is just one little problem: he signed off on the concept in the latest “Republican” party platform. Whoops.

He can call self-deportation all kinds of nasty names, but he himself blessed this plank:

“”We will create humane procedures to encourage illegal aliens to return home voluntarily, while enforcing the law against those who overstay their visas.”

That is to say, have people choose to deport themselves. Or, put another way, self-deportation.

Hey, RNC Reince: I’d be appalled to tell you to “wear s*** on your head”; so here is a Crown O’ Polished Turds for you. See, totally different, right?

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

OB/GYN Doctors to Politicians: “Get Out of our Exam Rooms”.

The American College of Gynecologists has finally had enough of lying, grandstanding, glory-hound yahoo politicos and their bulls*** anti-abortion laws. In fact, they are calling these “representatives” out, and (rhetorically) whacking them with very large sticks.

It makes sense that people who actually do something would be considered the experts at that thing, yes? So doctors who are trained in a medical specialty and work at it every day would be the authoritative sources, nicht wahr? And those OB/GYNs should be listened to, n’cest pas?

So let’s listen to them (bold text courtesy of the Crankster):

“While we can agree to disagree about abortion on ideological grounds, we must draw a hard line against insidious legislation that threatens women’s health like Texas HB2 (House Bill 2) and SB1 (Senate Bill 1). That’s why we’re speaking to the false and misleading underlying assumptions of this and other legislation like it: These bills are as much about interfering with the practice of medicine and the relationship a patient has with her physician as they are about restricting women’s access to abortion. The fact is that these bills will not help protect the health of any woman in Texas. Instead, these bills will harm women’s health in very clear ways.
We’re setting the record straight, loudly and unequivocally, with these simple messages to all politicians:

Get Out of Our Exam Rooms”

“Facts are very important, especially when discussing the health of women and the American public. And a lot of “facts” are being asserted in this debate. Truth be told, the scientific underpinnings of this legislation are unsound. First, there’s the 20-week ban, which is based on the argument that a fetus can feel pain. Recent and rigorous scientific reviews have concluded that there is no evidence of fetal perception of pain until 29 weeks at the earliest2 (third trimester is 28–40 weeks).”

Yes, these doctors are opening up a big ol’ can o’ Whoop-Ass on the “Republicans” in Texas and elsewhere who are prying into our private lives. And they are calling out these reprehensible scumballs for lying, invading our privacy, and endangering the lives of women and children with their meddling ways.

And the crazy part is, these “representatives” of ours are all too often proponents of “small government” and decriers of “Big Brother government”. People, if there is any more egregious example of Big Brother than a politician trying to stick their fingers into women’s private parts, this writer hasn’t heard of it.

Kudos to ACOG for telling these intrusive, corrupt, lying, sleazebucket politiciians to go pound sand.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky.

Would You Re-Hire Someone Who Lied to You and Ripped You Off Before?

Especially if the former employee who had scammed you had another court case pending against him for other criminal acts?

South Carolina did just that yesterday.

Mark Sanford, disgraced former Governor and a confessed liar and thief, won an election yesterday. Tomorrow he will stand in court to answer for his further crimes of stalking and criminal trespass. That did not matter to the voters, who cast their ballots for him in spite of his criminal activities.

If one were running a taco truck, it is a fair bet that one would not make such a hiring decision. But handing over the keys to an entire Congressional district? Sure, why not? That is logic, Carolina style.

On behalf of all of the voters from Ohio and Florida, this blogger would like to say “thank you” to the voters of Sourh Carolina’s First District; you’ve proven yourselves to be an even bigger joke than us.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Finally, a State Outlaws Political Lying

Mr. Blunt and Cranky might just crack a smile. This is a rare occurrence, indeed. But if this ruling holds up, there might cause for at least a bit of happiness in one American state.

You see, Minnesota has passed a law that requires politicians to tell the truth in their campaign advertisements and speeches. No doubt it will be resisted by politicos of all sorts, because, well, how would politicians communicate if they couldn’t lie?

Three’ll get you five that it gets challenged on First Amendment grounds: the manky old wankers who “represent” us will try to get the courts to believe that lying to voters is protected as “free speech”. Let’s hope the courts don’t swallow that line of hooey.

If this survives court challenges and the like, then the Cranky Fam may just have to relocate to New Sweden. No way such a bill could be enacted in Ohio.

Mr. B & C

Lying Sack of S*** of The Week: John Boehner

Little Johnny has earned his Crown O’ Polished Turds the week, yes he has indeed. By pretending to negotiate with the President, and then bailing out when an agreement was imminent; then “trying” to pass a “Republican” Plan B bill that had no chance of becoming law; then giving up and claiming that the House was a victim, and that the Prexy should do the Speaker’s job; and then coming back to DC after saying he wouldn’t; yes, this farrago of lies alone would easily qualify anyone for LSoSoTW honors.

But Mr. Boehner wasn’t done lying yet, nosirreebob; yesterday he said he was “waiting for the Senate”; as soon as they gave him a bill, he would consider it.  Of course, the Senate sent the House a bill on  November 30^th, and the Speaker has refused to allow it to come to the floor.

So, John-Boy, we’re supposed to believe you now? Somehow, that seems like a really bad idea.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we present to you John Boehner, the last Lying Sack of S***  of The Week for 2012.

Mr. B & C

Lying Sack of S*** of The Week: Bitchy Mitchy McConnell

Or maybe he’s just plain crazy. Assuming he’s not, Mr. Blunt and Cranky hereby bestows this week’s Crown O’ Polished Turds upon the misshapen dome of the current Senate Minority Leader, the whiny-arsed bitch that is McConnell.

And how did he rise to the top of the heap in a week that had some truly epic lies told? The “distinguished gentleman” accused a polling firm (and perhaps the Prexy, too, by proxy) of making up poor approval ratings to hurt his future re-election chances.  Really. Not kidding. Use the Googlicious thingie to see for yourself.

Getting bad poll numbers could, indeed, indicate that one’s chances of being re-elected are not as good as one might hope. But instead of paying attention to data and seeing what he could do to improve his rating, this man chose to create a bizzarro conspiracy theory so as to distract from the facts. He should remember that even The Great and Powerful Oz couldn’t make the old “distraction trick” work.

Yo, Mitch the Bitch, we can see through your curtain of lies. Wear your COPT behind it, why don’tcha?

Mr. B & C

Lying Sacks of S*** of The Week: Climate Change Deniers

Mr. Blunt and Cranky heard something remarkable today: shall he share it? Why yes, yes he shall: 97% of scientists actively working and publishing in the field of climatology agree that man-made global warming is an established fact. Ninety-Seven Friggin’ Percent. When was the last time you saw that kind of unanimity among humans on any topic? Hell, there’s not that much agreement on the validity of the moon landings.

If an international group of contentious, contumacious brainiacs can agree on Global Climate Change, we should treat it as a fact.  That means that anyone who bleats and blathers against the facts is a liar, because they choose to ignore reality and spew falsehoods.

“Oh, but Cranky One,” we hear you cry, “they are entitled to their opinion”. To which the response must be, “facts don’t give an armadillo’s fart about opinions”. Americans have gotten waaaaay too tolerant of fools and liars, and too invested in the silly-arsed, school-of-fluffy-bunnies-and-magical-rainbow-ponies  notion that everyone’s opinion is of equal value and deserves equal time and consideration.  Sorry, but that is not the case.  Some people simply have more information about a given topic than others, and their knowledge is worth more than the opinions of the ignorant.

This writer might opine that that all the gold in Fort Knox belongs to him, but he’d get a rude shock if he tried acting as if that opinion were true. Try having an “opinion” on gravity. Or how hot that stove burner is. Or how sharp a crocodile’s teeth are. No matter what you may believe, you’ll be bruised, burnt or dismembered when you encounter reality.

Climate change deniers are causing great harm because of their lies, and the first step in solving the problem is to call them out as the liars they are. Not “mistaken”; not “presenting a minority view”; not “stating an opinion”; no, these are liars. They should be forced to wear their Crowns O’ Polished Turds in public, the better that we may know to ignore anything that comes out of their mouths.

Monday: Reasons conservatives should acknowledge Climate Change and work to reverse it (yes, there are such reasons).

Mr. B & C