Teabagging, Secessionist Texans are now BEGGING Obama to help them. Can you say, “Biting the hand that feeds you”?

We knew you could.

It was less than a month ago, you’ll remember, when bats***-crazy Teacessionists claimed Obama was a-gonna invade Texas because the military was gonna practice, well, military stuff in the state. (Use “The Google” and search “Jade Helm” for details.) The Governor and many other Texas Teabaggers (in government and out) called (as they often do) for secession, armed resistance, and all the usual loony Lone Star bellicosity we’ve come to expect from those needle-d***ed, pea-brained dips***s.

Never mind that such military exercises bring a load of cash to the state and local environs, never mind that those same politicos were screaming for more Federal soldiers to be stationed in Texas to combat illegal immigrants not so long ago: NoNoNo, the eeeevil Federals and that dirty Obaminator-In-Chief were just itching to take over Texas, yupyupyup. And them thar proud Texans were gonna fight tooth, fang and claw to keep them Federal types away. Yupyupyup.

Then came a natural disaster.

And then, as always, came the usual demands (from those same TeaTexBaggers, of course) that the recently-reviled Federals come in and save the poor, helpless, suffering state of Texas, pleasepleaseplease. Christ on a Stetson, really? No, seriously, really? What happened to the proud, self-reliant, “we don’t need no stinkin’ Obama” attitude of just a few days prior?

The same a**holes that recently claimed that FEMA was setting up death camps are now begging FEMA to give them the essentials of life. The same crazies who deployed the National Guard to fight the apparently evil U.S. Army are now begging that very same U.S. Army to come on into Texas and help them. Anybody else see the blatant self-contradictions at work here?

This writer knows a goodly number of Texans and is aware that many (and perhaps most) people in that state are neither Teabaggers nor secessionists. Indeed, the average citizen of any state is not going to be agreement with the political hacks that run said states. Lord knows, this writer is hardly in agreement with Kasich’s Korrupt Kronies, for example. So please, don’t go lobbing nonsense attacks towards your humble bloggespondent or start some silly-a**ed #NotAllTexans Twitterfest.

But let’s DO encourage all of the good, sensible, hard-working people in Texas to assert their rights and run the “Republican” jackalopes out of office at the first opportunity, replacing them with representatives that reflect the interests of the majority of the state’s residents. Then maybe the local, state and national governments can work as a team again, as the Constitution says they are supposed to. And we can stop treating Texas politicians like the jokes most of them are.

Until that happens, Obama will have to just keep on feeding the teabagging, secessionist, deluded, idiotic Texas mouths that bite him.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Republicans Suck at Security. Proof? Timothy McVeigh.

20 years ago this Sunday, a white “Christian” Militia goon named Timothy McVeigh committed the worst act of domestic terrorism in American history. He blew up a building full of children and non-combatant men and women, killing 168 of them and wounding hundreds more. But do we run around yelling “4/19” like we do “9/11”? Of course not.

We don’t because, unlike Dubya, Bill Clinton didn’t use the Oklahoma City Tragedy for nefarious political purposes. Bubba didn’t declare a “Global War on Militias”; he didn’t invade Idaho to wipe out militia types; he didn’t torture or throw McVeigh into a Cuban prison; no, President Clinton used normal military and civilian means to bring the scumbag terrorist and his accomplices to justice. And he was successful, because Timmy Mac is long dead, having been tried in civilian courts, convicted, and finally executed in accordance with Federal and State civilian law.

By contrast, the Bushistas used 9/11 to manipulate us, rob us, deprive us of our rights, and kill a lot of us. Bin Laden’s trained sociopathic pilots may have terrorized us, but not half as much as Shrub, Cheney and their cabal did. From the DHS/TSA and their terror alert levels, to the Patriot Act, through torture and phony WMDs, to failed wars of choice, the “Republican” response to 9/11 failed at everything except panicking the populace, fooling the foolish, and gulling the gullible.

Again by contrast, let’s look at the terrorist attack on the Boston Marathon. Obama didn’t order the whole country into lockdown; he did not order the invasions of Chechnya, Kyrgyzstan or Dagestan; no, the cops found the perps, who were then dealt with by the normal civilian judicial process.

Oh, and the guy behind the 9/11 attacks? The actual responsible party? You know, the Phil Robertson of Islam? Bush never cared enough to catch him. All Shrubya wanted was to steal money and grab power. Which the motherf***er did.

The moral of the story? We don’t need a national freakout when we’re attacked by enemies foreign or domestic: we just have to remain calm and use the resources that the Constitution gave us. That, Gentle reader, is how we exact justice upon terrorists.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

The Repub Letter to Iran is not Unusual. Repubs have done this before.

And that more than once. Back in the 70’s and 80’s, Repubs met in secret with Iranian motherf***ers to steal the 1980 election (Nixon did the same with the Vietnamese government during his era). This was illegal as Hell, of course, just like this week’s letter from the 100% Teapublican Treason Team.

At the previous election in 1968, Nixon’s aides were charged with persuading the South Vietnamese to delay their participation in peace talks to deny possible advantage to the Democrats, then in office. But that was only a precursor for 1980. In that year, when Ronald Reagan was the Republican candidate trying to stop the re-election of President Jimmy Carter, a potentially treasonable plot was hatched, which came to be known as the ‘October surprise’. To stop Carter getting the credit for securing the release of the 52 US embassy hostages seized after the Iranian revolution, members of the Reagan campaign flew to Paris to meet Iranian and Israeli representatives in October, less than a month before the election on 4 November. Several sources, including the New York Times (15 April 1991), confirm that not only did William Casey, the [subsequent] CIA director [from 1981 to 1987], attend those meetings, but so did the vice-presidential candidate George Bush (father of George W). It was agreed with the Iranians that the hostages would not be released before the election. In return, the Reagan-Bush team promised to supply $40m of military equipment if elected. Military equipment started to flow to Iran from Israel on 21 October, the proffered release of the hostages was withdrawn, and Carter was defeated. The hostages were finally released on 21 January 1981, minutes after Reagan was sworn in as president.”

Got it? “Republicans” will break any law, at any time, even the Logan Act:

Any citizen of the United States, wherever he may be, who, without authority of the United States, directly or indirectly commences or carries on any correspondence or intercourse with any foreign government or any officer or agent thereof, with intent to influence the measures or conduct of any foreign government or of any officer or agent thereof, in relation to any disputes or controversies with the United States, or to defeat the measures of the United States, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than three years, or both.

So, we have the Republican Senators clearly violating that law. They are acting without authority; they are illegally corresponding with a foreign government; and they are doing so to influence Iran’s government, in order to defeat the measures of the United States.

This isn’t a new thing, Gentle Reader. It isn’t even unique. Teapublicans, like their “Republican” predecessors, will trample the Constitution and the citizenry of the US whenever they see a chance to line their pockets and seize more power. We have here three documented examples (no doubt there are others, but this blogger hasn’t the time to research them all) of Republicans betraying their country for their own personal gain. Nixon. Reagan. Bush. And now 47 Teapubbie Senators. That’s a lot of illegal and disloyal mother***ers. All members of the GOP. Every. Single. One.

The only thing different about this week’s shameful episode is: now, they don’t even try to keep it a secret. Ask yourselves why the Teapubbies don’t even bother to try to hide their anti-American, extra-constitutional deeds anymore.

Ask that question, and you’ll begin to realize how well and truly f***ed we are.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Teapublicans: Wiping their A**es with the Constitution.

Seriously, what else can explain their actions of the past 35 years, since the Reaganistas took over a formerly rational political party? Consider these few examples of many:

Number A: Teapublicans in Congress are openly sabotaging negotiations between the USA and a hostile foreign power, even though the Constitution says that foreign policy is in the Executive Branch’s portfolio. So Boehner’s invitation to Bibi to “address” the Congress is more than just another of his drunkard’s hissy-fits: it violates the Constitution. Not that he is any stranger to extra-constitutional actions, of course. Look at his actions as they relate to women’s rights, minority rights, voting rights, and so on: Boehner and the rest of his party are actively breaking the law, based on an illegal premise, for an illegal purpose.

Letter 2: Teapubbies are a load of “Christian” evangelicals who want to trash the Establishment Clause and set up a Theocracy. They claim that this is a Christian nation, even though the law pretty clearly says otherwise:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.[1]

Thirdly: Teapubbies are frequently Secessionist scumballs. Such as the seditious “Republic of Texas”, the Southern National Congress, and the League of the South, to name but a very few.

All of these groups and people are Right-Wing Teabaggers, Libertarians and Teapublicans. None of them are Liberals. And all of them obviously hate America and its Constitution. By their actions we know them.

Likewise we know that people who vote for Teapublicans also support sedition, legislative overreach, and religious totalitarianism.

What’s that you say, dear “Republican” voter? You claim that you support the Constitution?

Bull-f***ing-s***. When you vote for a person or party that treats the law of the land like a**wipe, you support that treatment, as surely as if it were your own toilet into which the soiled Constitution got dropped and flushed away.

By our votes people know us. If you are voting for Teapubbies… *flush*

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Proof Positive that the Republican “War on Terror” was all Bulls***:

Remember 9/11? And how the Bushistas said we really needed the Patriot Act? And the repeal of habeas corpus? And warrantless wiretaps? And secret agencies and laws (and tons of oh-so-secret funding)? And a couple of land wars that killed lots of soldiers and civilians?

And a new Department of Homeland Security (DHS) to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them? Ohmygoodnessgracious, the DHS was ESSENTIAL to winning the Global War on Terror (GWOT) (Teapubbies totally suck out loud at acronyms, have you ever noticed?). We simply HAD to have it, and to spend billions of taxpayer dollars on it. And right away, too. Remember?

Of course you remember. So do we all. Which makes things seem puzzling today, when the Teapublicans are willing to kneecap that ever-so-very important agency, just to stick a thumb in Obama’s eye. How could they take such a risk to such an all-important entity over such a trivial matter of prosecutorial discretion of alleged illegal immigrants?

The answer is obvious: DHS isn’t really important.

DHS, GWOT, and the entirety of the “Republican agenda” of the day was, is, and will always be neither more nor less than  a right-wing wet dream come true; an enormous, extra-constitutional seizure of power and money, designed solely to enrich and empower a privileged few while impoverishing disempowering the masses.

Now that we know this to be the case, it’s time to do away with DHS and every other Bush-era “Republican” piece of policy or law that has anything at all to do with national security: because it was bulls*** when it was proposed, bulls*** when enacted, bulls*** when expanded, and is still bulls*** today.

Away with Gitmo, torture, wiretaps,  secrecy, imperialist wars of choice,  the Patriot Act, all of it. Throw it all onto the dungheap of history (as one should always do with bulls***) and return our stolen funds and freedoms to us.

And prosecute the conniving mammy-jammers responsible for the scam as well. Let them stand under the crap they created as we pitchfork it onto their compost pile.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

How do I hate thee, Keystone XL? Let me count the ways.

Actually, your humble correspondent lacks the time to list them all. But here are a few of the many facts proving that Obama did the Lower 48 a solid when he vetoed the Keystone bill yesterday:

Reason Number A: Even with the huge cost of the project, only a paltry few jobs will be created apart from temporary construction gigs. So the American workforce won’t see any long-term benefit from the project. (Note: there may be jobs cleaning up spills and decontaminating water supplies, but those would likely be temp jobs, just as with construction.)

Reason Letter 2: The profits will go to a load of already wealthy individuals and corporations. It will NOT help the American economy. Indeed, it will aggravate the existing situation of offshoring jobs and cash that could stay here instead. (The few one-percent American mother***ers who will make obscene profits will likely hide their newfound cash in offshore accounts, too. It’s how those sleazy bastards roll.)

Reason the Third: The route is beyond risky. And if one looks back at previous pipeline projects, the value proposition looks even worse. (Note: when a capitalist rag like Forbes is playing Debbie Downer on the Keystone XL, you know it’s a BAAAD idea.)

Fourthly: The project exists because the Canuckistanis are too smart to put the pipeline on their own land. Yep, you read that right: the project was rejected as a risky boondoggle by the BC government. They’d rather we get the s*** polluted out of ourselves than risk their own water supply. (Reminder: Canadians aren’t really always as nice as we think. Their politicians and plutocrats are just as scummy as ours.)

Fifth (no, not the kind that Boehner likes): Teapublican politicians like the Speaker have money invested in the Keystone scam. Little Johnny B stands to make a huge profit from it, in fact, and he ain’t the only one. And that doesn’t include the huge sums in political bribes “contributions” Teapubbie “representatives” bank from energy companies in order to get their votes bought and their own offshore accounts padded.

Friends, there just isn’t any benefit to America from this project. A very few millionaires and billionaires will make another million/billion bucks, but the vast majority of us will get nothing good from it.

And last time this blogger checked, our country was supposed to be ruled by, you know, the MAJORITY; not a minority of wealthy, inbred, greedheaded, narrow-minded, elitist poltroons. Good on the Prexy for vetoing the Keystone XL.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

So, if Boehner thinks Obama broke the law, why didn’t he take the President to court?

That is, after all, what one does when laws are broken, yes? And Little Johnny Boehner says laws were broken, yes sirree:

” This is not about, actually, the issue of immigration,” said Boehner after a closed-door meeting with rank-and-file Republicans. “What it is: It’s about the president acting lawlessly.”

We’re voting to block the president’s overreach,” Boehner told reporters on Tuesday, when asked about the potential impact on the Latino vote. “His executive overreach, which I believe is beyond his constitutional duty and frankly violates the Constitution itself.”

Ooooh, sounds like quite the crime spree. You’d think the Speaker would have platoons of lawyers clamoring at the doors of Federal courts, demanding that justice be wrought upon the Eeevil Obamanator.

But he hasn’t. Instead, he is trying to deport Hispanics. Uhhhhhh …. How, Mr. Speaker, does that address the Prexy’s supposed extra-constitutional, “lawless”, dictatorial actions?

The answer is, of course, these deportations have NOTHING AT ALL TO DO with any alleged illegal Presidential acts. It’s just Teapublicans being their usual racist, bigoted, corrupt, motherf***ing selves.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Republicans: Cop-Killing Political Necrophiliacs.

How quickly we forget, amongst the current din of Liberal-bashing: ’twas only a few years ago that G. Gordon Liddy (he of Watergate and Steely Dan infamy) said, and we quote him verbatim:

Now if the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms comes to disarm you and they are bearing arms, resist them with arms. Go for a head shot; they’re going to be wearing bulletproof vests. … They’ve got a big target on there, ATF. Don’t shoot at that, because they’ve got a vest on underneath that. Head shots, head shots…. Kill the sons of bitches.

That is a right-wing thought leader and convicted felon saying things that far exceed anything that, say, Obama, DiBlasio or LeBron have said about cops. That is not someone asking for Justice: it is a mainstream “Republican” advocating the wholesale execution of law enforcement personnel. A Nixon Repub salivating over the possible bodies of dead police. And he is not alone:

How about Teapublican Craven Cliven Bundy acolyte Jerad Miller, who actually ambushed and murdered two innocent cops in Las Vegas?
Or Larry McQuilliams, who shot up a Texas courthouse and was, yes, a Republican, Teabagger-on-steroids, right-winger?

Do you hear about the manifold anti-cop words and deeds of Teapublicans like these today, Gentle Reader? No, you don’t. You hear a pack of lies and selective omissions about liberals and people of color, who supposedly hate cops, that is what you hear. And it is ALL you hear.

Never mind that DiBlasio already gave the NYPD $400,000,000.00 in EXTRA funding, in less than a year. Nearly half a billion ADDITIONAL DOLLARS to the NYPD from the mayor the NYPD union blames for the killings of two officers. Screw the soundbites, that is supporting the cops. But do the Raging Righties in their Tightie Whities acknowlowledge this? Of course not.

It’s one thing to call for Justice, as people in the Center and the Left have been doing. That is constitutionally-protected free speech and is not violent. Indeed, it is aimed at the same ends pushed by honest cops and prosecutors: a fair, just, and orderly society. One in which the police are our public servants and we their supporters.

But when Right-Wing Jackalopes like Fox News talking heads and other Repubs (like Police Union Chiefs in St. Louis, Cleveland, and New York) blame people of color, liberals and non-Wingnut politicians for the killings of cops, it is not aimed at justice. Not at all. It is “Republicans” trying to use the dead bodies of Americans for political advantage.

Like Bush did after he crawled out of his hole after 9/11 and many occasions therafter, it is what Repubs do these days. A sort of political necrophila, in which the dead are merely tools to be used for partisan advantage. Ghoulish, revolting, disrespectful behavior that SHOULD be beyond the pale. But, alas, in these sorry times, nothing is too extreme, too disgusting, too taboo for a “Republican” to say or do in the pursuit of his or her own power and wealth.

Those two dead cops deserve better. So do Brown, Gardner and other murdered police and civilians. They are, all of them, deserving of justice; not having their corpses used for the profit and pleasure of Right-Wing Necrophiliacs.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Russian Propaganda vs. American Propaganda:

In Russia, where the State controls the media and the Oligarchy loves the President, Vladimir Putin is hugely popular with the masses. In spite of starting new wars, wrecking the economy, destroying jobs and empoverishing millions. Because the media is controlled by his allies.

In America, where the Oligarchy controls the media and hates the President, Barack Obama is hugely unpopular with the masses. In spite of ending two wars, saving the economy, creating jobs and lifting millions out of poverty. Because the media is controlled by his enemies.

See a pattern? Yeah, me too.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

The Teapublican Endgame has Already Begun.

So the budget bill passed the House and is heading to the Senate. It avoids a government shutdown, yay. It also:

* Makes it legal for retirees to have the benefits they paid for taken away by their erstwhile employers,
* Makes it legal for Wall Street to crash the world economy once again,
* Makes it even easier for rich motherf***ers to buy and sell elections.

The Prexy and most Dems are going along because in a few weeks, with more “republicans” in DC, any legislation passed will be even worse for us. Thus we approach the Randian Teapubbie Paradise: in which right-wing extremists call all the shots.

We are about to be robbed, abused, surveilled, and mocked by the 1% bastards for two years. To an even greater extent than hitherto. And as to anyone could have voted Dem in the last election but chose not to, it is at least partly their f***ing fault. Fuck them all with a sandy lubricant, the f***ing f***wits.

It’s gonna get even worse, peeps. America is going to get what we voted for. God help us, every one.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky