Archives for posts with tag: old testament

Because, according to his “logic”, the Duck Dynasty star is Hellbound, just like the gays he and his daddy love to hate. Gonna be hot and bright down there, boyo, so you had best be prepared. And that goes regardless of whether the hating is based on “Christian” readings of the Old or New Testament.

Young Willie dittoed his daddy’s ignorant statements recently, saying that the Bible says certain people are going to Hell, and that is that. And his faux-redneck family fully supports the literal interpretation of Holy Scripture. If they are right, this guy and his clan are heading for some third-degree brimstone burns themselves:

The list of Levitican Perdition Pronouncements may be found here. A cursory reading reveals the Ducksters to be huge vi-o-lators of this code:
They eat crawdads and other forbidden seafood,
They wear clothing made from mixed fabrics ,
They lie about who they are,
And a number of other forbidden practices like touching snakes, and so on. So Willieboy is on the Swampway to Hell, according to his own standards and beliefs.

But, you say, what of the New Testament? Glad you asked. Here is the bit of Corinthians that Phil and Willie claim to reference:

Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! Fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, sodomites, thieves, the greedy, drunkards, revilers, robbers—none of these will inherit the kingdom of God.

Since the Robertson “men” have chosen to pretend to be something they aren’t in order to make money, they are clearly prostituting themselves, are greedy, and robbing those poor gullible fools who give them money. So, they are likewise headed South, waaaaaaay down South. Hadesville kinda South. According to the very New Testament Scripture they themselves cite, and the Old Testament Scripture.

Gentle Reader, one of two things is true:

Willie and his Ducky Posse are all a-goin’ to Hell just like them icky-ucky LGBTQ peeps; and it’s gonna be  Sunburn Central down there, from all reports, or

The gays aren’t actually going there, because the Bible really doesn’t say what he and his Daddy Phil says it does.

Either way, listening to Willie  is probably a really bad idea, because it’s pretty obvious that  his head is firmly lodged in his alimentary canal. But he himself had better be prepared, just in case he’s right. Coppertone, Mister Duck. Lots and lots of it.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

P.S. Count the number of times Homosexuality is mentioned in the entire Bible. Less than ten. Now look at how many times Adultery is mentioned. Dozens.
These Fundagelicals might want to adjust their priorities. I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

As we all know by now, Duck Daddy Phil Robertson loves him some Leviticus 18:22 (that is the bit about gays being icky). Of course, the book says a lot about other horrible sins, but he doesn’t often mention them. And for good reason.

This writer has seen a bit of Duck Dynasty, and knows that the Robertsons love to eat squirrel. That is forbidden per Lev. 11:4-8, as are pork, rabbit, and pretty much any animal without divided hooves and a cud-chewing habit. Crawdads are also sinful to eat, along with shellfish, lobster, shrimp and crab, per Lev. 11:10-12.

Don’t get the Cranky started about how they dress on that show: dreadfully decadent mixing of fabrics. Forbidden in 19:19. And that unkempt hair? Oh, my-check out 10:6. Not to mention eating fat-that is stealing from the Lord’s sacrificial portion, as per 3:17.

And of course, there is the big one: lying. Forbidden by a commandant, and quite a few places in Leviticus, to boot. And the whole show is a lie, Clan Robertson is not the family they pretend to be: click the link and watch to see. They were a normal load of rich yuppies before the show, and grew the beards and such for it. So the show is bearing false witness, deceiving a purchaser, and a host of other truly gnarly sins.

The truth, Gentle Reader, is that we are all horrible sinners according to the standards set in Leviticus, and Hoo Boy, that includes your Cranky Correspondent. That is why we no longer live by those standards. And if someone wants to pick and choose which bit o’ Levit he wants to foist upon the rest of us, then he is leaving himself open for the rest of us to do unto him.

For now, the score of the Sin Bowl is: Homosexual males, 1 ; Phil Robertson, 12+.
Not hard to see which is the bigger sinner.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

It’s not just that Reince Priebus, leader of all things “Republican” in the USA, is shamelessly using Holy Scripture for his own purpose (there’s a Shakespeare quote you might want to think about that relates to this). No, it’s that he clearly doesn’t understand the Book that he thinks he’s quoting from. And he’s not alone in this.

In an interview with CBN (link below), Mr. Priebus said the following:”“First of all, I don’t know if I’ve used the word tolerance. I don’t really care for that word myself”, and “Christians and pastors and everyone in between should agree that our principles have to be draped in the concepts of grace, love and respect and that’s not code language. That’s the New Testament…”. Let’s break this down so we can understand what he (and other “conservatives” “Christians” and “Republicans”) is saying:

He is saying that we should use Old-Testament values but make them look nicer than they are. He is saying that it is OK to hate, to discriminate, to impoverish, to kill, to starve, to disempower, and to abuse anyone who does not think and believe exactly as they do. Instead of being “tolerant” of others, he proposes using a “tolerant tone”. He proposes, therefore, deception. Lying, in other words.

Now, Mr. Blunt and Cranky is not all that zealous (Presbyterians rarely are) and does not propose to tell you what to believe, if anything. But he does take issue with lying politicians, no matter if they wrap themselves in a Flag, Scripture, or the Federalist Papers. And the New Testament does NOT say to carry on with the Old while cleverly disguising it with honeyed words. No, the New Testament affirms some parts of the Old, and clearly replaces some others (one example – turning the other cheek).

We see this quite frequently among the Fundagelical community: the selective use of Scripture coupled with willful misunderstanding of what the Prophets, Jesus, and Apostles said. And since the talking heads on TV are held up as “Christians” (and nobody wants a theological catfight), their distorted, false, and misleading views are taken as Gospel. And Gospel, they most certainly are not.

Play this fun game: Have a bible handy when you watch these “Christian Experts” on the TeeVee. Whenever one of these yahoos claims to be citing Scripture, go and try to find it. You’ll be amazed at how often there isn’t anything in the Book to support what he or she claims to be God’s word.

Example: Reince Priebus on CBN recently. He was on the Christian Broadcasting Network, for crying out loud; and either no one else knew he was wrong, or decided to keep quiet, knowing that he was full of it. If a network devoted to the New Testament doesn’t understand it or communicate it clearly, then imagine how badly other “Christian Republicans” mess tis up.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky