Archives for posts with tag: outrage

The “Christian Right” is starting into its annual festive tizzy about how Baby Jesus is being dissed due to people uttering words other than “Merry Christmas” during the period of time between Halloween and New Year’s Eve. In reality, of course, there is no such “war on Christmas”, and has never been. You want the real story on the annual celebration? Here ya go:

When the weather gets cold and the days get short, people like to have a party, to lift their spirits. It’s been going on for, literally, thousands of years, all over the planet. Vis. and to wit:

In ancient Rome, it was called Saturnalia (or Dies Natalis Solis Invicti).
Modern American Hindus celebrate Pancha Ganapati.
Vainakhs celebrated Malkh.
Saxons celebrated Mōdraniht.
European-descended Pagans have a Yule holiday.
Persian-descended Pagans celebrate Shabe Yaldā.
Christians, of course, have Christmas.
The jewish people celebrate Hanukkah.
Slavic folk have been known to observe Malanka.

To name but a few. Get the idea? When all around is dark and dreary, we humans like to have some light and merriment.

So just because Christian missionairies in the British Isles decided to adapt some Celtic Pagan observances by inventing a birthday celebration for Rebbe Yeshuah Bar Joseph (AKA Jesus), and just because we Christian types happen to be in the majority in contemporary America, doesn’t mean other people in and from other cultures don’t have a right to party in the manner of their own choosing. We all need a bit of a pick-me-up when nature has us feeling down.

It’s gotten worse since Fundagelicals have decided to repurpose the celebratory holiday of Christmas into yet another evangelical outlet; because when religious people are looking for converts, they can get pretty militant. (See the Albigensian Crusade for another example besides the current ones.) Songs like “Mary, Did You Know” are perfect examples of this phenomenon. It’s no longer enough to wish the Savior a happy birthday and give gifts and charity to others: no, these proselytizeing latter-day Puritans are after your very souls. Damn your fun, they are on a mission!

Everybody, just take a breath and smile. Drive away the chill and dark with warmth and light. It’s what humans do. All of us. For all of our history. This writer loves the opportunity to liven up the blah days of a blah season, and doesn’t care what you call your party.

Call it “Bob”, if you want. It might prevent a few wars, or a few Fox News editorials at the very least. The reason for the season is: to help ourselves and those around us to be a wee bit happier.

So Happy Bob to one and all.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Yes, you read that correctly. In Michigan, women who are raped may not have an abortion if their rapist impregnates them. UNLESS they purchased what is being called “rape insurance” ahead of time. Result: women need to plan for being raped, and pay out of pocket in case they are someday raped. Your humble correspondent feels that “rape Insurance” is the wrong term. Really, it’s a tax on people who can become pregnant.

It is a tax on fertile women, levied upon their functioning uteri. A “Uterus Tax”.This is a 100% “republican” idea, pushed only by repubs, voted for only by repubs. Repubs have successfully imposed it upon women in Michigan, and plan to spread it across the nation.

America, you just voted to give the party behind such obscene ideas even more power than they already had. You voted for it, and you are getting what you deserve. Almost all eligible voters are to blame for such travesties as these.

Perhaps you didn’t vote? By not voting against the GOPee, you helped Repubs to win.

Perhaps you voted third-party? See above.

Perhaps you voted “Republican”? You stupid f***, you truly do DESERVE this. Hope it hurts, motherf***er.

The only people who are blameless are those who voted for the candidate with the best mathematical chance to beat a Teapubbie. Every other eligible voter within the locale involved in a Repub outrage bears some measure of responsibility for the outrage in question.

This is just the first example of what America asked for during this week’s election. Look forward to years more of such revolting results. And as you are subjected to these manifold obscenities over time, remember: America voted for this. America asked for this. America demanded this. AMERICA’S VOTERS MADE THIS HAPPEN. As the Politicos like to say, “elections have conesquences”.

Maybe we’ll learn our lesson. Maybe after we get f***ed so brutally, so often, so painfully, the country will learn to ignore the propaganda, respect the facts, and get out to vote in our best interests for a damned change. Maybe.

But for the foreseeable future, we will all pay, as a nation, for the sins of the majority of actual voters.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky