Teabagging, Secessionist Texans are now BEGGING Obama to help them. Can you say, “Biting the hand that feeds you”?

We knew you could.

It was less than a month ago, you’ll remember, when bats***-crazy Teacessionists claimed Obama was a-gonna invade Texas because the military was gonna practice, well, military stuff in the state. (Use “The Google” and search “Jade Helm” for details.) The Governor and many other Texas Teabaggers (in government and out) called (as they often do) for secession, armed resistance, and all the usual loony Lone Star bellicosity we’ve come to expect from those needle-d***ed, pea-brained dips***s.

Never mind that such military exercises bring a load of cash to the state and local environs, never mind that those same politicos were screaming for more Federal soldiers to be stationed in Texas to combat illegal immigrants not so long ago: NoNoNo, the eeeevil Federals and that dirty Obaminator-In-Chief were just itching to take over Texas, yupyupyup. And them thar proud Texans were gonna fight tooth, fang and claw to keep them Federal types away. Yupyupyup.

Then came a natural disaster.

And then, as always, came the usual demands (from those same TeaTexBaggers, of course) that the recently-reviled Federals come in and save the poor, helpless, suffering state of Texas, pleasepleaseplease. Christ on a Stetson, really? No, seriously, really? What happened to the proud, self-reliant, “we don’t need no stinkin’ Obama” attitude of just a few days prior?

The same a**holes that recently claimed that FEMA was setting up death camps are now begging FEMA to give them the essentials of life. The same crazies who deployed the National Guard to fight the apparently evil U.S. Army are now begging that very same U.S. Army to come on into Texas and help them. Anybody else see the blatant self-contradictions at work here?

This writer knows a goodly number of Texans and is aware that many (and perhaps most) people in that state are neither Teabaggers nor secessionists. Indeed, the average citizen of any state is not going to be agreement with the political hacks that run said states. Lord knows, this writer is hardly in agreement with Kasich’s Korrupt Kronies, for example. So please, don’t go lobbing nonsense attacks towards your humble bloggespondent or start some silly-a**ed #NotAllTexans Twitterfest.

But let’s DO encourage all of the good, sensible, hard-working people in Texas to assert their rights and run the “Republican” jackalopes out of office at the first opportunity, replacing them with representatives that reflect the interests of the majority of the state’s residents. Then maybe the local, state and national governments can work as a team again, as the Constitution says they are supposed to. And we can stop treating Texas politicians like the jokes most of them are.

Until that happens, Obama will have to just keep on feeding the teabagging, secessionist, deluded, idiotic Texas mouths that bite him.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

“Pro-Life”, my Cranky A**: Republicans fight for their right to kill children.

Really? No, seriously, REALLY? Christ on a trailer hitch, these Teapubbies have gone even bats*** crazier. Read this scarily accurate headline: Idaho Republican backs faith-healer parents: ‘If I want to let my child be with God, why is that wrong?’

The story is as follows: faith-healers’ kids die from neglect, and “Republicans” support them, and so want to ensure that deliberately causing one’s child to die is legal:

Legislation limiting a faith exemption for medical care in the state’s child neglect law was proposed after a string of preventable child deaths in Marsing among members of the Followers of Christ Church.

Perry said faith healers are caring parents who simply trust in God’s will.

“They are comforted by the fact that they know their child is in heaven,” Perry said. “If I want to let my child be with God, why is that wrong?”

Good God. This straw-for-brains “pro-life” Teabagger is even dumber than a wet sack of doorknobs.

The more so since she vehemently objects to letting a pregnant woman make the same choice BEFORE the child is born. Yep, Ms. Perry is rabidly anti-choice.

Got it, Gentle Reader? Everyone MUST be born whether their mother wishes it or not, and Repubs will make sure every pregnant woman is forced to give birth. But should a baby catch so much as a sniffle, one single minute after he or she emerges, it’ll be their parents’ “God-given” right to murder their child. Crazy.

Pro-life, my Cranky A**. Pre-born life matters far more to these “Christians” than post-born life. You can be jailed for having a miscarriage, but not for murdering your toddler.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Texas Says: We Won’t Discriminate, We Just Want to Rig Elections

And they say it straight out, with no shame at all. The state of Texas is fighting the DOJ, hoping to keep the courts from blocking them from screwing tens of thousands of citizens out of the right to vote. Their “logic” works like this: “We aren’t discriminating against people of color, and never did, really, well, maybe we did a little bit but not all that much,and we willnevereverever do it again. Honest. Pinky swear. But we ARE trying to rig elections so Democrats can’t win”. From the article:

“Shortly after the Supreme Court’s Voting Rights Act decision, Texas moved to reinstate restrictive voting laws that had previously been blocked by the feds. As far as it’s 2011 redistricting plan goes, the state’s brief argues that’s all in the past, and it was a partisan issue rather than a racial one anyway.

“The redistricting decisions of which DOJ complains were motivated by partisan rather than racial considerations, and the plaintiffs and DOJ have zero evidence to prove the contrary,” the state writes in its brief. “It is perfectly constitutional for a Republican-controlled legislature to make partisan districting decisions, even if there are incidental effects on minority voters who support Democratic candidates.”

This is yet another example of why political parties suck, and why we should have listened to President Washington and never allowed the corrupting beasties to exist in the first place. Texas “Republicans” see absolutely nothing wrong with election-rigging, screwing voters from the other party out of the right to vote, and subverting the electoral process for partisan gain. In their minds, it is perfectly OK to steal elections. And that is truly frightening.

Criminals saying that their crimes are no big deal are always scary: murderers who say “God told me to kill that doctor”, child rapists who claim “it was her idea”, and so on. The creepiest crooks are those who simply fail to understand that the law of the land applies to everyone, or even think that their crimes are legal when they commit them because, well, just because. Texas is saying that they can completely destroy the democratic process, so long as their primary intent is not to discriminate on basis of skin color.

Here’s hoping the courts and the Department of Justice drag out some big ol’ cans of Whoop-Ass for this case, and open them upon the Texas “Republicans” who are trying to steal an entire state. Because THAT, dear reader, would be a big crime, and worthy of a commensurate punishment.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Since Rick Perry, Ted Cruz and John Cornyn don’t care about Texas, Obama does their Job for Them

Obama stepped up to take care of West, Texas, because none of the responsible officials would do the jobs they were elected to do. And why, we hear you ask, did they not do their jobs? Answer: they are being bribed not to.

“Legislative fixes have failed in recent years, in part, because of business lobbying efforts. The chemical and manufacturing industry doubled its total lobbying spending to $55million during the decade ending in 2012, according to an analysis by the nonprofit group OpenSecrets.org. The agricultural services sector, which includes fertilizer makers and retailers, increased lobbying spending by about 50 percent over the same period to $35million last year.”

Since Obama isn’t beholden to these industries, he is free to act: first, he told the regulatory agencies to, well, regulate for a frickin’ change; and he also put the smack on FEMA, making them give West disaster relief.

So, yay for the Prexy and all that. He has done good work here. The real question is: why won’t the “Republican public servants” that Texas keeps electing do that good work themselves?

And since Repubs don’t take care of Texas, why do Texans keep electing Repubs?

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

150 Years Ago, The Battle of Gettysburg Started. Today, Some Americans are So S*** Stupid, They Want Another Civil War.

The Battle of Gettysburg was an example of Stupid America at its stupidest: a load of greedy, narrow-minded, ideological, partisan s***sacks decided to wage war on the other half of the country so they could be free to oppress a group of people (slaves, in that case). In the end, those the Confederates wanted to enslave won their freedom, the Yanks beat the Rebels’ asses like a drum, and a lot of innocent schmucks got their lives ruined or ended: all so a bunch of fat cats could get even fatter at the expense of their constituents. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Gettysburg

But just in case you think America has gotten over its affliction of Stupid Syndrome, you should know that we have a new and even dumber load of greedy, narrow-minded, ideological, partisan s***sacks who want to, yep, wage war on the rest of us so as to be able to oppress a group of people (broadly speaking, anyone who is not a while male Dominionist “Christian” “Republican”). Then as now, these people are treasonous, anti-American scumbuckets who want to overthrow our government. And then as now, all too many of us are not paying attention.

Here, in their own words, you can read their call to arms. And this is a literal call to arms – they mean to grab weapons and start killing people so as to make America into a theocracy. Don’t believe the Cranky One? Read these quotes from David Lane, an adviser to Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry, and Rand Paul:

“You ask, “What is our goal?” To wage war to restore America to our Judeo-Christian heritage with all of our might and strength that God will give us.”

Or perhaps you’d prefer some Peter J. Leithart:

“If America is to be put in its place – put right – Christians must risk martyrdom and force Babel to the crux where it has to decide either to acknowledge Jesus an imperator and the church as God’s imperium or to begin drinking holy blood.”

Yes, that’s right: these “Republicans” want to force you to “drink holy blood”. And lots of you voted for them. Lots of you will vote for them AGAIN. That is Stupid America raised to levels of stupidity hitherto unimagined.

Today we should remember the brave Civil War soldiers who were killed on behalf of ideological extremists who had built their fortunes of the bones of people they had enslaved. Ask yourselves this question: what is the best way to honor their sacrifice? Is it:

Number A: repeating the errors of the past by launching a second civil war and attempting to overthrow a duly constituted government, or

Letter 2: coming together as a nation by rejecting these calls for violence, inequality, hatred, treason and wholesale bloodshed.

This writer picks the second option, and hopes you will also.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Shameless Sack of S*** of The Week: Rick Perry

This week’s award goes to Rick Perry, Guv O’ Texas, who is on a national tour promoting his state’s “business friendly” lack of regulation and infrastructure at the same time people there are cleaning up from a horrible explosion caused by Texas’ lack of regulation and infrastructure.

Click the link to read more about this Shameless Sack of S***.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky