How do I hate thee, Keystone XL? Let me count the ways.

Actually, your humble correspondent lacks the time to list them all. But here are a few of the many facts proving that Obama did the Lower 48 a solid when he vetoed the Keystone bill yesterday:

Reason Number A: Even with the huge cost of the project, only a paltry few jobs will be created apart from temporary construction gigs. So the American workforce won’t see any long-term benefit from the project. (Note: there may be jobs cleaning up spills and decontaminating water supplies, but those would likely be temp jobs, just as with construction.)

Reason Letter 2: The profits will go to a load of already wealthy individuals and corporations. It will NOT help the American economy. Indeed, it will aggravate the existing situation of offshoring jobs and cash that could stay here instead. (The few one-percent American mother***ers who will make obscene profits will likely hide their newfound cash in offshore accounts, too. It’s how those sleazy bastards roll.)

Reason the Third: The route is beyond risky. And if one looks back at previous pipeline projects, the value proposition looks even worse. (Note: when a capitalist rag like Forbes is playing Debbie Downer on the Keystone XL, you know it’s a BAAAD idea.)

Fourthly: The project exists because the Canuckistanis are too smart to put the pipeline on their own land. Yep, you read that right: the project was rejected as a risky boondoggle by the BC government. They’d rather we get the s*** polluted out of ourselves than risk their own water supply. (Reminder: Canadians aren’t really always as nice as we think. Their politicians and plutocrats are just as scummy as ours.)

Fifth (no, not the kind that Boehner likes): Teapublican politicians like the Speaker have money invested in the Keystone scam. Little Johnny B stands to make a huge profit from it, in fact, and he ain’t the only one. And that doesn’t include the huge sums in political bribes “contributions” Teapubbie “representatives” bank from energy companies in order to get their votes bought and their own offshore accounts padded.

Friends, there just isn’t any benefit to America from this project. A very few millionaires and billionaires will make another million/billion bucks, but the vast majority of us will get nothing good from it.

And last time this blogger checked, our country was supposed to be ruled by, you know, the MAJORITY; not a minority of wealthy, inbred, greedheaded, narrow-minded, elitist poltroons. Good on the Prexy for vetoing the Keystone XL.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

The new Teapublican Congess is doing exactly what they said they’d do. Stop acting surprised.

Really, people, come on. A party full of corrupt, seditious, hypocritical, mendacious motherf***ers was given expanded power by America’s Idiot Electorate,and they are doing just what they promised to do. In the first day or so of “Republican” control, they have:

Number A, elected a KKK-loving white supremacist to a senior leadership position;

Letter 2, tried to destroy a vital part of Social Security,

Thirdly, tried to once again violate the Constitution’s separation of powers by pushing foward to a vote “approving” the Keystone XL pipeline.

And that was in a matter of hours, with lots more to come. Nobody should be surprised: all of these things (secessionism, classism, racism, corruption and greed) have been core GOPee values for decades now. They said, over and over, that they would gut the social security system, throw the environment in the crapper, oppress people of color, and steal our money to give to their 1% cronies. Now they are fulfilling their promises.

America, you knew this would happen, and most of you either helped it happen, or sat back and let it happen. Unless you, personally, were either: not allowed to vote; or voted so as to defeat each and every Teapubbie in each and every race when last you cast a ballot, it’s partly your f*** ing fault.

We are all about to suffer because many Americans are: stupid; evil: lazy; or some combination of the three. Just don’t try to convince this writer that you are shocked. You’re not. We all knew what it would mean if the Repubs took control, and now they have control.

We’re all about to be f***ed. They told us they would f*** us, and they are now dropping trou and bending the lot of us over their desks. Surprising? Not at all.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Here is why Russia wants control of Ukraine: Money and Power.

Pretty much the usual reason for imperialist ventures. Vladdy-Boy is trying to hold onto the leverage he has over Europe (said leverage is the natural gas Russia exports), and as you’ll see below, Ukraine has a LOT of gas pipelines:

Now for the fun bit: other countries want to make money, too, so they would love to sell Ukraine some gas:

This is what Putin’s bitch stooge assclown partner-in-crime Yanukovic was trying to stop, and why he got run out of Kiev on a rail. And now Vlad is mad, sad, and bad, so he’s taking Crimea to sooth his hurted feewings. Plus to intimidate, and gain greater leverage to negotiate.

It’s all about money and power. It’s why the Shrub tried to take over Iraq, and it’s why Putin tried to take over Ukraine. No conspiracy theories needed.

As soon as Western companies started drilling gas wells in Ukraine, Russia’s power and influence were threatened, so Putin tried to take over: first via a puppet government, and now with guns.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Masked gunmen installing petty thugs is, like women distributing swords, no basis for a system of government.

Just stop for a second and focus, OK? The man people call Crimea’s leader was NOT legitimately elected to be such. Unless you’re fool enough to believe in the validity of secret elections held with guns pointed at voters’ heads, and that a man who previously barely got into his previous office as leader of a fringe party with only a few paltry seats could somehow magically win power in his nonexistent “nation” when nobody was looking. In reality, Mr. Aksyonov is a criminal who is part of a Russian land grab that is reminiscent of Russia’s previous actions in Georgia, and Germany’s in Poland:

Crimea has been swept into turmoil over the past two weeks, as Moscow, furious over the fall of Yanukovych and the pro-Western outlook of the new government, used hundreds of Russian soldiers to seize political control of the peninsula. The Russian soldiers — who Moscow insists are members of a Crimean self-defense force that Aksyonov created last year — ringed the regional parliament. Then, with armed soldiers inside the chamber, Aksyonov was named prime minister.

His critics say it’s clear that Aksyonov is simply a puppet, someone installed by Moscow to ease what has become, in effect, a Russian takeover of its former territory.

“If six months ago someone would have told me that Aksyonov would become prime minister, I would have laughed,” said Valentina Tsamar, a prominent Simferopol journalist with the TV channel Chernomorskaya.

So, after Russia took over Crimea’s government at gunpoint, and said fake government called for a fake referendum on “joining” Russia, the “Prime Minister” is already taking steps that shouldn’t be taken until after the election results are known. The obvious conclusion, Gentle Reader, is that the results of the next “election” will be rigged, just as the recent parliamentary “election” was. The results are already known, because the referendum is a farce, a ruse, a smokescreen erected to scare the cowards, fool the foolish, and gull the gullible.

This is as illegal as Mexico storming the Texas Capitol, deposing the elected government and installing a posse of Narcos in its place, and then voting to secede from the United States and rejoin Mexico. After all, there are Mexican nationals in Texas who have to be protected from the American government, right? And there are cultural ties that go back centuries, yes? And such ties surely supersede any silly latter-day political boundaries, right?

Wrong. Just as in Ukraine. This is an illegal land grab, like countless others throughout history (including some by the United States, Britain, France, and so on). And like all those other invasions and occupations, it is illegal as Hell and completely illegitimate.

Those loons of the political extremes who shriek and shout at the West for alleged “imperialism” as it insists on Ukraine following a path based on international law; the jackass Conspiracy Theorists who ignore the facts on the ground and and use their own fantasies in lieu of those facts; said shouters are but useful idiots that are helping the real imperialists in this case. Said imperialists being, of course, Putin and his corrupt buddies.

Such bulls***. Wake up and smell it, peeps.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Texas Stealing From and Imprisoning Poor and Minority Children

Another school-to-prison scam, this one in Texas. Briefly put: if you get too many absences or tardies, you go directly to jail. No defense, no nothing. Jail. With adult offenders. Even if you are as young as 12 years old. Jail. And fined hundreds of dollars.

And it’s not just “bad kids” who get treated thus: a straight-A honor student who also had to work two jobs got thrown in the slam for a day and a night with career criminals. Think about it.

In Dallas County, they have a computer programmed to file the charges without a single human interaction required. Not until they get to court, where there is limited judicial discretion available.

Of course, sometimes said discretion is a very bad thing, too: as in the school-to-privatized prisons pipeline where judges take bribes and kickbacks to imprison juveniles. One such “judge” made over a million bucks imprisoning innocent kids.

Regardless of your political persuasion, it is hard to imagine that you support this sort of state-sanctioned child abuse. But some people vote for “representatives” that DO support said abuse.

Ask yourself about the people you vote for. Because, you see, when you vote for them, they think your vote means your support for what they do.

And that means, yep, we the people are ultimately accountable for the actions of our government. Including any abusive actions they may be taking towards our children.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky