Rob Portman: Proof that Teapublicans only Care about themselves, and their three “F”s.

Those “F”s being:
Families,
Friends and
Financiers.

Teapublicans only care about their own little groupings. They regard the rest of us with indifference at best, or malevolent disdain at worst. GOPee Senator Rob Portman exemplifies this characteristic: he only started supporting gay rights after he found out his son was gay.

Before that, Portman hated him some gays, oh yes, he did. And Portman still hates the poor, women who have sex, and pretty much everyone else except for himself and his 1%, Teapublican Friends, Family and Financiers. It was only when the issue harmed one of his own Family members that he “saw the light”.

It’s not just Portman, of course:

* Mike FHuckabee hates criminals and wants them all to burn in hell for eternity, except for his own son and admitted child-molester Josh Duggar. Them, he wants to get a pass. Because they are in his immediate Family/Friends.

* Rand Paul, who deplores government interference in our private lives when it’s the NSA tapping his Family’s phones, but loves the government telling women what to do with their reproductive organs.

* Teapubbies who hate Obamacare until they or their Families get sick.

* Anti-Government Teabaggers who want the same Government they hate to help them out if they fall on hard times.

* “Small Government Republicans” who want Big Government to pay their Defense Contractor Friends. Or Oil Business Friends. Or Bribing Bastard Friends.

And so on. All these effing “F”s. “Republicans” care only about their own personal Friends, Families, and Financiers. Not the citizens, not the taxpayers, not the voters. Only their own little cliques of “F”s.

Once you understand that, you’ll understand why Repubs constantly act against the interests of their constituencies. And then you’ll understand why you need to vote them the “F” out of office.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Reality, 2: Libertarianism, 0

In reality, Libertarianism NEVER works, because it is an overly simplistic theology, based on the erroneous assumption that we all have completely free choices at all times, free of any constraints. The ideas sometimes sound reasonable, but always fall apart when subjected to even the most cursory of examinations. Two examples today, since we haven’t time to write about them all:

Number A: cell phone usage on airplanes, currently not allowed. The policy is under review and in a public comments period (go here to weigh in with your opinion). A discussion erupted yesterday between those who are for and against, because, hey, Americans argue. The pro-loud-cellphone-user-everywhere Libertarians said, in brief, “tough s***, don’t fly. My right to dominate the space around me by bellowing into my Shoephone outweighs your right to sleep, concentrate, work, etc. ” When reasonable, rational adults attempted to point out that not everyone can just choose not to fly, the Libertarians kept saying “you chose this job, this family, this location to live, so AMFYOYO. Make different choices. Government should not be allowed to control my behavior.”

Letter 2: Libertarians think that men should not have to pay child support , since men have “no right to make reproductive choices”. This bit of twaddle is an offshoot of the “men’s rights” movement, which Libertarians love. They are demanding the ability to choose to default on their obligations because they assume that the women they impregnate have the free choice to raise or not raise the baby, get an abortion or not, etcetera. The idea that these are easy choices available to every woman, everywhere, at all times is obvious nitwittery, of course, but Libertarians hold onto it nonetheless. (They also ignore the fact that men DO have the right to make choices: we can wear condoms, get our tubes tied, or just not f*** with someone who can get pregnant.)

These are but two examples of the obvious bankruptcy of Libertarian theology (you can claim it’s not a religion, but is sure as Hell acts like one). There are many others, like certain Bitcoin adherents, regulatory opposition, preeves who want to be able to marry their daughters and so on. Their argument is always “freedom” and is predicated on the idea that we all have unlimited freedom of choice because we have no limitations placed upon us by external factors. That assumption is, of course, composed of very high-grade fertilizer (anyone here ever take Econ 101? Big takeaway: “resources are scarce”) and like all concentrated fertilizer, it blows up when subjected to pressure.

Real life for real people is fraught with resource scarcity and limited choices. That is why businesses exist, governments exist, houses and clothing exist, medicine exists, and so on. Hell, it’s why cellphones exist, ferchrissakes. We do not live in an ideal world, and our solutions to the imperfections that surround us are likewise imperfect and full of restrictions. That, Gentle Reader, is what we in the Reality-Based Community call “Life”. Real Life.

Libertarians can try all they want to make reality fit into their ideology, but they will fail; just like the Flat-Earthers, Birthers, Truthers, and Science Deniers. Reality will always win in the end, no matter how hard you fight against it.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

“Libertarian” = “Whiny-Assed Hypocrite”

Three examples today of how Libertarians and their wannabees amongst the Teabagging and “Republican” communities behave in real life when things don’t go their way:

Number A:

This unemployed Libertarian is crying because the safety net he voted against isn’t there when he needs it. Yes, he hated that big government and its handouts when he was employed, but now that the shoe is on the other foot, he wants Congress to “have a freaking heart”. Sorry about your luck, Chuck: next time you vote, maybe you’ll be the one to have a freaking heart.

Letter 2:

Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson has been an advocate for deregulating horizontal drilling and fracking everywhere in the United States. Until it affected him and other rich Libertarians, that is:

Instead, the suit claims, the water company began building a 160-foot water tank, calling it “this monstrosity” that will “create a constant and unbearable nuisance to those that live next to it.” The tank will be constantly lighted, make noise and “create an attractive nesting spot for invasive species of bird and other animals,” the suit says.
And then it adds that the water company will sell water to drillers for hydraulic fracturing, “leading to traffic with heavy trucks” on nearby Farm Road 407, and “creating a noise nuisance and traffic hazards.”

Yep, deregulation for everybody but himself. Typical Libertarian hypocrisy.

Thirdly: We have the Libertarian’s fave “currency”, Bitcoin. This barely-regulated “money” appeals to the “ideals” of Libertarians, to the extent that the party now accepts them as campaign contributions. But now that the exchanges are collapsing due to the lack of regulation, investors of all political stripes are calling for, well, regulation.

When it comes down to it, Libertarians want all the benefits of the governments they pretend to despise: a safety net, clean air and water, and safety from criminals, to name but a few. They just don’t want to PAY for it, or to be bound themselves by “burdensome” regulations and laws. Hypocrites, in other words.

Screw all of those lying, smirking, two-faced, Libertarian sons of bitches. They should reap what they have sown, and learn the hard way that government is not always the problem (as their Saint Ronnie of Alzheimer claimed): sometimes, government can be a good thing. Let ’em deal with its absence and see how they like it.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Another Day, Another Phony Partisan Group: the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons

These people are miles beyond insanity. They believe that Obama is using mass hypnosis to control the American electorate, for one example of their crazitude. They also oppose evidence-based medicine, vaccination, and generally hang out on the far right wing of the political spectrum. To the right of, say, Attila the Hun.

They are such a bats*** insane bunch of crazies that even the hyper-partisan US Supreme Court ignores their “legal” filings. Yesterday, for example, Bircher-Boy John Roberts bounced their latest anti-ObamaCare suit out of the Court without so much as a cursory explanation.

Like the Constituitional Peace Officers group we pilloried yesterday, this deliberately-misnamed organization is a fringe group of clinically insane crackpots (by the bye, the AAPS also opposes mental health care funding, the better to not have themselves diagnosed and committed) with a purely political agenda that is opposed by the vast majority of Americans. They want a State that is simultaneously libertarian and authoritarian: that, friends, is insanity of the most magnificent sort.

The lesson of the day is to look beyond the name of an organization to see what they actually stand for. As Fielding once wrote, “garbage by any other name doth stink”. These crazy f***ers at AAPS stink to high heaven.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Rand Paul says he wants to kill journalists.

Or at least, the ones who catch him lying and stealing. You see, reporters caught him plagiarizing great chunks of his recent “book”, and when he was pressed on the matter, he wished aloud that he could duel with them. Dueling is, of course, two pissed-off people with weapons, trying to kill each other. So, Senator Paul is publicly announcing his desire to murder anyone who catches him breaking the law.

That, friends, is the Tea Party summed up; and, to a large extent, the “Republican” party as well. They want to do whatever they want, whenever they want, to whomever they want, and to be above the law while so doing. They think they should be allowed to silence, jail, or even murder anyone who disagrees with them, or attempts to point out the crimes they commit.

Think about Rand Paul, and his stated desire to kill people who make him look bad. Think about that when you vote.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

150 Years Ago, The Battle of Gettysburg Started. Today, Some Americans are So S*** Stupid, They Want Another Civil War.

The Battle of Gettysburg was an example of Stupid America at its stupidest: a load of greedy, narrow-minded, ideological, partisan s***sacks decided to wage war on the other half of the country so they could be free to oppress a group of people (slaves, in that case). In the end, those the Confederates wanted to enslave won their freedom, the Yanks beat the Rebels’ asses like a drum, and a lot of innocent schmucks got their lives ruined or ended: all so a bunch of fat cats could get even fatter at the expense of their constituents. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Gettysburg

But just in case you think America has gotten over its affliction of Stupid Syndrome, you should know that we have a new and even dumber load of greedy, narrow-minded, ideological, partisan s***sacks who want to, yep, wage war on the rest of us so as to be able to oppress a group of people (broadly speaking, anyone who is not a while male Dominionist “Christian” “Republican”). Then as now, these people are treasonous, anti-American scumbuckets who want to overthrow our government. And then as now, all too many of us are not paying attention.

Here, in their own words, you can read their call to arms. And this is a literal call to arms – they mean to grab weapons and start killing people so as to make America into a theocracy. Don’t believe the Cranky One? Read these quotes from David Lane, an adviser to Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry, and Rand Paul:

“You ask, “What is our goal?” To wage war to restore America to our Judeo-Christian heritage with all of our might and strength that God will give us.”

Or perhaps you’d prefer some Peter J. Leithart:

“If America is to be put in its place – put right – Christians must risk martyrdom and force Babel to the crux where it has to decide either to acknowledge Jesus an imperator and the church as God’s imperium or to begin drinking holy blood.”

Yes, that’s right: these “Republicans” want to force you to “drink holy blood”. And lots of you voted for them. Lots of you will vote for them AGAIN. That is Stupid America raised to levels of stupidity hitherto unimagined.

Today we should remember the brave Civil War soldiers who were killed on behalf of ideological extremists who had built their fortunes of the bones of people they had enslaved. Ask yourselves this question: what is the best way to honor their sacrifice? Is it:

Number A: repeating the errors of the past by launching a second civil war and attempting to overthrow a duly constituted government, or

Letter 2: coming together as a nation by rejecting these calls for violence, inequality, hatred, treason and wholesale bloodshed.

This writer picks the second option, and hopes you will also.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Twelve Senators Are Helping Crooks and Crazies Buy Guns

Here is the story of Rand Pail and eleven other Senators who are making sure that crazy people and violent criminals can buy any guns they want, any time they want to. They will filibuster any and all legislation that would keep kooks and perps away from weapons that could be used to slaughter innocent adults and children.

These twelve Senators are standing firm in their support for violent, insane, sociopathic murderers like Adam Lanza. They are shoulder-to-shoulder with terrorists like Timothy McVeigh. They support convicted felons who want to mug little old ladies and shoot them. They just love the two teenaged scumbuckets who shot a baby in the head last month. Yes, America, if you want to have guns, the Dirty Dozen wants you to have them too: even if a judge has found you to be mentally incompetent, or if you have a history of committing violent felonies.

You see, among the proposals that would be up for a vote in the Senate is one that would close some loopholes in our current background check system. 90% of Americans support this measure. That is ninety percent of our fractious, divided nation agreeing on something. When is the last time you saw that many of us agree on anything? We don’t want lunatics running around gunning down our children. We don’t want convicted felons shooting our babies and grandparents. That is what almost every American believes.

But these Senators don’t give a damn what we the people think. They only care about pocketing their large paychecks from the NRA. Never mind if the rest of us get our asses shot off by someone who should not legally be able to purchase a weapon. Nope, they are not concerned with the opinion of the law-abiding majority of Americans. They are watching out for the rights of the felons and the criminally insane to have assault weapons.

One doubts that the twelve sleazebuckets would say so themselves , of course. They’d prattle on with some conspiracy theory about black helicopter-riding Soviet assassins, coming to take our guns and canned goods, because they hate our freedoms; that, or something even less coherent.

But since what they do supports the gun rights of loonies, terrorists and criminals, then they are supporters of loonies, terrorists and criminals. Ladies and Gentlemen, we present Senators Paul, Cruz, Rubio, Lee, Moran, Inhofe, Burr, Johnson, Enzi, Risch, Crapo, Coats and Roberts: the Crazy Criminal Caucus.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky