Repubs Helped Cause the Ebola Crisis. Time to Cure our Government: Vote Them Out.

Contrary to the screeches of the Panic Platoon, Ebola has not been the plague depicted in Rise of the Planet of the Apes (admit it: you thought of the end sequence when you first heard about the recent outbreaks in West Africa). Not even close. Everywhere that has the needed resources and good solid best practices were followed, the disease was brought under control quickly and competently.

The only countries that have not yet brought the virus under control are desperately poor nations that have been deliberately f***ed over by “republicans” and their counterparts elsewhere. The disease COULD have been controlled in Liberia, too, but some GOP senator might have wound up with fewer millions in his illegal offshore bank account had America shown some common decency and a wee bit of smarts. But NOOOOOOOooooo, the GOPee stole from the poor and gave to themselves, as is their wont.

So while the Chicken Littles and Admiral Akbar Brigade join their brethren in the Panic Platoon and generally freak out about Ebola in fine hair-on-fire fashion, let us focus instead on a real existential threat: the thieving Repub rat-bastards who caused the f***ing outbreak in the first f***ing place. There, friends, is a SERIOUS problem that needs solving.

And we can solve it. Get to the polls, and take your friends, enemies, frenemies. neighbors, church members, bowling buddies, bandmates, and everybody else you know with you. Vote against every single rotten, stinking son-of-a-bitch GOP candidate and show the lot of them to the door. You don’t have to like Dems (this writer doesn’t): you just have to hate the Repubs for killing so many innocents in the name of fattening their own wallets.

Beating any disease requires an accurate diagnosis and a solid treatment plan. We have done it for Ebola, now we need to eradicate modern Republicanitis before it “kills” the lot of us.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

“Republican” Congress critter Thinks Climate Science is Just Like Surgery.

So, how about we arrange for a climate scientist to perform surgery on GOPee Rep. Benishek? Perhaps a vasectomy, gall bladder resection, or a colostomy? Dan Benishek, you see, thinks that since he is a surgeon, that makes him a “scientist”. He says so:

Rep. Dan Benishek (R-Mich.) says his medical background qualifies him to reject the overwhelming consensus among climate scientists that emissions from human activity are causing the planet to heat up. Pressed to address scientific findings to the contrary, Benishek claimed that no peer-reviewed climate change studies have been able “to prove that there’s man-made catastrophic global warming.”

As of 2013, 97 percent of more than 12,000 peer-reviewed climate science papers have concluded that human activity over the last century has contributed to global warming. Nearly 200 scientific organizations worldwide, including the American Medical Association, the Australian Meteorological and Oceanographic Society, and the U.S. National Academy of Sciences also endorse the consensus position.

“Well, I am a scientist,” said Benishek, who worked as a general surgeon for nearly 30 years before running for Congress in 2011. “You know, I believe in peer-reviewed science. But, I don’t see any peer-reviewed science that proves there is man-made catastrophic climate change.”

So, “studying the sciences” makes you a scientist, eh, boyo? That makes this writer a scientist, one supposes. Wow, who knew a couple of college classes (in between drinking bouts) made the Cranky One a scientist? Dang, the lucrative career opportunities that were foregone, because of the silly belief that one had to spend time and effort over a period of years in a specialty before declaring one’s self the master thereof.

And by the same token, if a surgeon is somehow automatically imbued with the ability to do all sciences of all types after graduating medical school, surely the same applies to anyone who has “studied the sciences”, yes? So, chemists should be performing brain transplants, physicists could easily do organ transplants, and astronomers could whip out heart bypasses without breaking a sweat. Right, Danny Boy?

If the distinguished gentleman really thinks that his medical education and time in the O.R. is truly the equivalent of advanced degrees and years of work in climatology and related disciplines, then let him show it. Volunteer to go under the knife as oceanographers and geologists demostrate their “scientific studies” on his internal organs. Put some skin in the game, if you’ll pardon the pun.

After all, the risk is much smaller: only Benishek would be at risk in this fantasy scenario. But the whole f***ing planet is at risk if we accept his “scientific” judgment on the all-too-real phenomenon of global climate change.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

When “Never” Actually Means “Until I Change My Idiot Mind”

Rep. Andy Gipson (R-Sphincterville) recently said, via Leviticus (20:13 for those of you aren’t hip to the Scrip) on his Facebook page, that gays should be killed. Here’s a snip of the page, for you Thomas-types out there:

Later, he went on Facebook again, refusing to apologize, saying “I do not, cannot, and will not apologize for the inspired truth of God’s Word. It is one thing that will never change.” So, you’re down with killing the gayward. We got it, Andy. You might be a hateful little bigot, but you are at least consistent. God’s word will never change, thus you’ll never be OK with gay folks unless they are dead.  Despicable, but reliable. We know where you stand. Even if it’s the lower level of a two-story outhouse, we know where you stand.

One wondered if he refused to wear nylon and wool at the same time (one shudders at the thought of a poly/cotton mix – oh, the shame, the shame of it); sold his daughters into slavery, or indeed  performed each and every one of the other actions required of we poor souls,  in that unchanging book that is Leviticus. If not, how could he live with himself?

And then, shock of all shocks, the next day, he said he didn’t really mean “killed”. Wait a minute, boyo, you mean God’s word DID change? News to me, I have to say.  Or did you mean that you just decided to stop following it? So much for “never”. 

Most of us think never means, well, never. Evidently, this jackanapes thinks never means “until I am in danger of actually having to work for a living”. Or “Until I realize what an ass I’ve made of myself”.

Nope, here’s the deal: he’s just another lying, two-faced politician who got caught shooting off his yap. His word isn’t worth the spit behind it, and his promises are worth their weight in gold.

If it weren’t the fact that he was using the Bible to make himself look bigger than the pathetic little twerp that he actually is, he might “never” have been noticed at all.

Mr. B & C