You are NOT a Conservative. Stop calling yourself one.

Unless you actually fit the definition of a “Conservative”:

noun
1: a person who believes in the value of established and traditional practices in politics and society : a person who is politically conservative.
2: a: one who adheres to traditional methods or views
b :a cautious or discreet person.

Sadly, most “conservative” Americans bear little or no resemblance to the agreed-upon meaning of the word. Some examples:

Number A: The “Reagan Revolution”. Helpful hint: there is no such thing as a “conservative revolutionary”. Real conservatives abominate the very idea of radical change. So all you NRA machine-gun nuts, anti-abortion screechers, morals policemen and theocrats are not one damned bit conservative.

Letter 2: Intentional ignorance is not at all “conservative”, because existing knowledge is something built up over history, and thus part of our intellectual tradition. People who pretend that facts are debatable are not conservative; they are radicalized f***wits.

Thirdly: real conservatives respect the Constitution and its amendments. They do not advocate sedition, the violent overthrow of the government, secession, or unconstitutional disenfranchisement and/or discrimination against women, LGBT citizens, or non-whites.

And shut up with the “words can mean something different to me than you” horses***. The word means what it means, and all the NeoCons are doing is rebranding themselves so that people won’t see them as the violent, hateful, extremist, treasonous scum that they are. By changing the meaning of the word, a’la Orwell, the Raging Righties in Their Tightie Whities are trying to (and succeeding at) conning the populace into supporting them as they slowly slice our government’s throat.It’s lying, propagandizing, anti-American crap.

The crowning irony of all this: it is the Liberals who are actually trying to stop the right-wing, libertarian, teabagging revolutionaries from burning down and blowing up our democracy. Yes. Liberals (along with the few true centrists and other antidisestablishmentarianists remaining) have become modern America’s true conservatives, because they fit the definition.

Ain’t that some f***ed-up s***? But not as f***ed as all the douchenozzles who lie when they call themselves “conservatives”.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

The Ferguson protesters are a lot like our Founding Fathers:

They are upset about oppression, a non-responsive and discriminatory government, and taxation without representation. Yes, that is correct. The good people of Ferguson we see out there picketing and marching may not be dressed like, say, George Washington, John Adams or Thomas Jefferson; but their complaints are eerily like the ones identified in the Declaration of Independence.

Here is a good article on the matter. Ferguson is making up for revenue shortfalls by levying burdensome taxes and fees upon the populace; said charges not having the consent of the governed:

Traffic fines are the St. Louis suburb’s second-largest source of revenue and just about the only one that is growing appreciably. Municipal court fines, most of which arise from motor vehicle violations, accounted for 21 percent of general fund revenue and at $2.63 million last year, were the equivalent of more than 81 percent of police salaries before overtime.

And the fees are applied in a discriminatory manner, much like what King George did back in the 1770’s:

“If you’re black, they’re going to stop you,” the study quoted one traffic defendant as saying.

In 2013, 86 percent of all Ferguson police traffic stops involved black drivers, the largest share since the Missouri Attorney General’s Office began tracking the data in 2000. According to 2010 U.S. Census data, the city is 63 percent black and 34 percent white.

Got it? The local government is a minority oppressing the majority, and doing so via corrupt, discriminatory and violent means. Just like what sparked the American Revolution. The differences are minor when compared with the similarities.

And just like the American colonists, the people of Ferguson aren’t asking for anything unreasonable: to be treated fairly, have their rights respected, and to have a voice in how they are taxed by the government. Unfortunately, the local administration is likewise resembling its historical counterpart and therefore refusing to change its corrupt and mendacious ways. No way this is gonna end well.

If you repeat the mistakes of the past, you’ll repeat the consequences of those past mistakes. There may not be many powdered wigs to be seen on the streets of Ferguson: but then, when s*** was getting real back in 1776, not many of the American Revolutionaries were wearing them out in the streets, either.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky (whose ancestors were here before the revolution in 1776)

Teabaggers: Bullying people, blackmailing God.

After all the failures, you’d think the Baggers would realize that most Americans don’t buy their line of snake oil. But nooooooo. Even though their “mass uprisings” keep having more Porta-Potties in attendance than people, these Wingnuts keep on planning more “revolutions”, as if their bully-boy tactics will somehow win our hearts and minds if they do it often enough.

Now, though, they have cranked the crazy up to 11: they are trying to blackmail God. “God Will Bless Operation American Spring, Or Prepare For Violence” is the message from Teabagging generalissimo Harry Riley.

Mr. Riley, who apparently suffers from delusions of adequacy, says that he has “faith” that The Lord, having “bathed” their “American Spring”, will ensure its success. And if God does not make it work, then he and his cohorts will start killing people.

That, Gentle Reader, is blackmail. These Teapublicans are threatening our Congress, the President, the cops, our military, and even the Supreme Being: “give us 100% of what we want, or we will murder millions of people”. That isn’t just yap-flapping nonsense, it is a criminal act.

We may not like our elected officials (this writer strongly dislikes most of his), but they were elected. If we don’t like the results, we try harder next election. That is how Democracies and Republics operate.

But these pisswilly little buggers aren’t willing to respect the Founding Fathers and the Constitution. Also, they don’t respect the God they claim to worship. Teapubs don’t, in fact, respect anything or anyone who does not agree with and comply with them 100% of the time, 24/7/365.

When you start threatening God with waging war against your neighbors unless He grants your every wish, you aren’t just barking mad: you’re a dangerous, criminal, violent psycho case who needs to be locked in the giggle ward until you return to sanity . So it is with “Republican conservatives”, Tebaggers, and all the other gun-humping wussy-boy revolutionary wannabees.

Blackmailing God. Seriously. How can anyone support them?

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

The rising tide of violent Republican extremists.

Yes, they are a threat, even if we don’t want to acknowledge it. For example, Kansas Governor Brownback is addressing and helping to lead a group that is planning an armed revolution against the Constitution. They want to create a Christian version of Iran’s religious Sharia law. There are thousands of them, and they are serious.

Fox News staffer General Paul Vallely is part of a planned armed military coup against our Constitutional government, and he says so straight up. His is a greater betrayal, since he swore an oath to preserve and protect the same Constitution he now plans to destroy. He has millions of viewers, and is very serious indeed.

At the low end of the spectrum, we have US Congresscritter Michael Grimm, who recently threatened to break a reporter in half…”like a boy” when the newsie was asking a question. He might get in trouble for it, but the fact that the rest of the “Republican” caucus tolerates his violent behavior shows us that the millions of Right-Wingers, Teabaggers, Fundagelicals and “Republicans” as a whole have embraced violence as an acceptable way of doing business.

Our country was founded by people of divergent views, who decided to create a system where we settled our differences with ballots instead of bullets. Once before, the Right-Wing predecessors of the modern-day Repubs launched a civil war to try and kill everyone who disagreed with them. Today, it is the Right-Wingers that make up the GOP who are threatening to kill the rest of us if they don’t get their way.

The truly scary thing is: I am not exaggerating: click those links and read for yourself. If the Repubs can’t win elections, they will use violence to destroy America as we know it, and build…well, they can’t agree on that yet. But that isn’t stopping them.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky (who may start buying more guns to protect himself from these crazy Teapublicans.)

Earth to Davos: Wake up. Soon. Please. Before it’s too late.

Today is the official start of the Davos World Economic Forum, during which some of Earth’s richest and most powerful people convene in amazing luxury to decide who will win and who will lose. And wonder of wonders, a few bits of common sense are appearing on the horizon:

Number A: Japan’s recent turnaround, which happened after they finally gave up on Voodoo Reaganomics, was the keynote topic;
Letter 2: income inequality is on the agenda; and
Thirdly: Oxfam’s recent gruesome report on just how badly the rich and powerful are f***ing the rest of us is being looked at.

Looked at is good, but acted upon would be better. The report’s gist is that across the world (as in America since Reagan) the rich and powerful have rigged the game and are gleefully piling up filthy lucre, which is putting billions of people in a no-win, guaranteed-loss situation:

The Oxfam report found that over the past few decades, the rich have successfully wielded political influence to skew policies in their favour on issues ranging from financial deregulation, tax havens, anti-competitive business practices to lower tax rates on high incomes and cuts in public services for the majority. Since the late 1970s, tax rates for the richest have fallen in 29 out of 30 countries for which data are available, said the report.
This “capture of opportunities” by the rich at the expense of the poor and middle classes has led to a situation where 70% of the world’s population live in countries where inequality has increased since the 1980s and 1% of families own 46% of global wealth – almost £70tn.

The 1% of the world are a load of purblind fools who have either never read history, or stupidly think they are smarter than billions of other humans, so let’s make this plain for them, shall we? Oxfam’s report clearly (and correctly) points out that this fleecing of the many to benefit the few is creating instability. In other words, revolution is around the corner.

It happened in France. It happened in China. It happened in Russia. It has happened, can happen, and will happen anywhere that people are being treated unjustly and feel that they have nothing to lose. And right now, Gentle Reader, nearly 3/4 of the world’s population feels that they have nothing to lose.

In America, it will continue until the “Republicans” who were and are behind the scam get voted out of office. And if they don’t get voted out of office soon, shit’s gonna go down sometime. And it will be bloody and destructive in a mammer such as the world has never before witnessed, and will not be confined to our shores, because the great robbery has happened around the world.

And it’s ridiculous. Can you wear more than one suit at a time, eat more than one meal at a time, drink more than one drink at a time? Hell, no. Beyond a certain point, acccreting further wealth becomes useless and meaningless. As well as dangerous and destructive.

You. Cannot. Keep. Abusing. People. Forever. Eventually, even a dog will bite back; people will do it sooner than dogs. And the “bites” of humans will do a lot more damage, too. Earth to Davos: you have the people gathered in one place, at one time; the people who can change this horrible state of affairs (many of whom helped to create it, and who have benefited from it). If you don’t change what’s happening, then you can’t change the outcome.

And regardless of of what the 1% may think, the outcome will destroy them, just as it will will the 99%. Davos: you can change the outcome; and if you don’t, well, even all your riches won’t buy enough soap to wash the blood of billions from your greedy, clutching hands.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Teabaggers want to overthrow the government. So, screw those people.

Here’s one core belief of a Radical Centrist: “Revolutions suck”.  Extremists like Teabaggers are so bloody stupid, they WANT a revolution, and they WANT to violently overthrow our Constitutional government.  They say so themselves:

“[Obama] will finally know that his time has come to leave his perverted, Islamic concept of Mecca, our nation’s hallowed capital,” Klayman concludes. “I do not advocate violence, but it is time we show Obama that we mean business. He would be well advised to ride off into his Islamic sunset, link up with 72 virgins and party on at his expense – not ours!”

http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/klayman/130923

In case you didn’t pick it up: The “72 virgins” are a misquoted reference to the Islamic afterlife. This means that Mr. Klayman wants Obama dead.  Yes, he is threatening the life of the President.

Of course, most people would never dream of following a child molester into battle, but Teabaggers are showing themselves willing to do so. Yes, Klayman is a child molester, as judged by a real court of law (not one of his phony ones):http://wonkette.com/485407 

The fact that one of the main voices calling for a revolution in this country is a failed lawyer who molests his own children should be enough to alarm America in and of itself. But that’s not the only issue: revolutions kill people, usually the poor and powerless. Teabaggers like that idea, too. Revolutions lead to a breakdown in law and order. Teabaggers think they love that idea.  

So a lot of extremist loons want to follow a preeve into a battle that will wreck the country and kill a lot of defenseless innocents?Yeah, right.  If ever you needed an example that proves  Centrism is rational, just look at this alternative.

Revolutions suck. So does anybody and everybody who wants one.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

To All Those Fools who Think we Need Another Revolution, Let’s Hit the Wayback Machine

Lots of people are bleating and shrieking their displeasure over the current state of our government: mostly loons on the Far Left and Far Right. But they do make a lot of noise, and sensible people might assume that where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Just to make sure they don’t do anything stupid (like believe these nutjobs), here’s the list of grievances against King George (no, not Bush. The other one.) from the Declaration of Independence.

See if they sound like they’re happening now:

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

A long read, yes, sorry. But guess what, Cranky Nation? Nary a single one of these offenses has been committed by the Obamabots. Not. One.

And if we can’t even come up with one grievance from this long list, maybe we’d best listen to these words from the second paragraph:

“Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes;

People, calm down. Yes, we need to get up and vote a bunch of incompetent, corrupt, extremist buffoons out of office as soon as we can, but America is still beautiful, we are still free, and it’s OK to stop panicking and enjoy this national holiday.

From the Cranky Family to each and every one of you, Happy Independence Day.

Mr. Blunt andCranky

150 Years Ago, The Battle of Gettysburg Started. Today, Some Americans are So S*** Stupid, They Want Another Civil War.

The Battle of Gettysburg was an example of Stupid America at its stupidest: a load of greedy, narrow-minded, ideological, partisan s***sacks decided to wage war on the other half of the country so they could be free to oppress a group of people (slaves, in that case). In the end, those the Confederates wanted to enslave won their freedom, the Yanks beat the Rebels’ asses like a drum, and a lot of innocent schmucks got their lives ruined or ended: all so a bunch of fat cats could get even fatter at the expense of their constituents. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Gettysburg

But just in case you think America has gotten over its affliction of Stupid Syndrome, you should know that we have a new and even dumber load of greedy, narrow-minded, ideological, partisan s***sacks who want to, yep, wage war on the rest of us so as to be able to oppress a group of people (broadly speaking, anyone who is not a while male Dominionist “Christian” “Republican”). Then as now, these people are treasonous, anti-American scumbuckets who want to overthrow our government. And then as now, all too many of us are not paying attention.

Here, in their own words, you can read their call to arms. And this is a literal call to arms – they mean to grab weapons and start killing people so as to make America into a theocracy. Don’t believe the Cranky One? Read these quotes from David Lane, an adviser to Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry, and Rand Paul:

“You ask, “What is our goal?” To wage war to restore America to our Judeo-Christian heritage with all of our might and strength that God will give us.”

Or perhaps you’d prefer some Peter J. Leithart:

“If America is to be put in its place – put right – Christians must risk martyrdom and force Babel to the crux where it has to decide either to acknowledge Jesus an imperator and the church as God’s imperium or to begin drinking holy blood.”

Yes, that’s right: these “Republicans” want to force you to “drink holy blood”. And lots of you voted for them. Lots of you will vote for them AGAIN. That is Stupid America raised to levels of stupidity hitherto unimagined.

Today we should remember the brave Civil War soldiers who were killed on behalf of ideological extremists who had built their fortunes of the bones of people they had enslaved. Ask yourselves this question: what is the best way to honor their sacrifice? Is it:

Number A: repeating the errors of the past by launching a second civil war and attempting to overthrow a duly constituted government, or

Letter 2: coming together as a nation by rejecting these calls for violence, inequality, hatred, treason and wholesale bloodshed.

This writer picks the second option, and hopes you will also.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Kokesh The Crazier Cancels His Idiotic “Protest” in Dizzy City

Adam Kokesh has decided that threatening D.C. with thousands of loaded rifles was a bad idea after all, so he has cancelled the “protest”. Seems that local enforcement was determined to, you know, enforce the law.

Mr. Kokesh (spellcheck wanted to change this to “hashish”, which is weirdly appropriate) now wants his “followers” to march around state capitals on July 4th whilst carrying loaded rifles instead: he wants them to demand that the states dissolve the Federal government in what he calls ” the final American Revolution” .

Krazy Kokesh says if threatening lawmakers with loaded long guns does not do the trick, then an armed revolution “may be necessary”.

Mrmmmm, Kokey old buddy, if we really were so oppressed that we needed a revolution, do you think the big bad Fed’ral Gummint would be letting you out of prison so you could “organize” your little comic-opera putsch? Think about it.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

“But when you talk about destruction, Don’t you know that you can count me out.” (Centrism Defended)

John Lennon, as he so frequently did, nailed it to a tree in this lyric. And while he may not have agreed with this writer on political matters, this line effectively points out one underlying premise of Centrism: the renunciation of extremism, and the violence that extremism requires to achieve its ends.

People often demonize Centrism as “ill-defined” or “meaning nothing”. This is no more true of Centrism than  is of Liberalism or Conservatism. The plain and simple truth of all political “isms” is this: none of them are monolithic, and all of them have as many variants as they have adherents. Put another way, Dennis Kucinich and Abbie Hoffman have both been described as “extreme Left” or “Liberal”, but they aren’t going to agree on everything. Bush The Dumber and Dick Cheney didn’t agree on everything either. The Cranky One  almost never agrees with the DLC Dimbulbs with whom he is automatically associated when he describes himself as a Centrist.  Labels are useful tools, but like any tool need to be used properly: when misused or overused, they create more harm than good.

Your humble correspondent  describes his political philosophy as follows: antidisestablishmentarianism, maximum personal freedom, keeping his nose out of other people’s private lives, and contributing to the overall good of our society. Except for the first point, he figures most Americans are on board with those concepts to a certain degree. So let’s look at that first point (the one Mr. Lennon so perfectly captured).

Antidisestablishmentarianists, of course, come in various shapes, sizes and degrees: some are ossified individuals who reflexively cling to the status quo, regardless of whether or not it works. Others (like this cranky writer) see it as an incrementalist approach to change. One thing to remember: Martin Luther, often depicted as a revolutionary, was in fact an antidisestablishmentarianist: that is why he proposed a reformation, rather than a revolution. So it goes in politics.

Revolutions kill people. They destroy lives and the works created by those lives. They burn away the good along with the bad. And rebuilding from a revolution is far harder and  more costly (in all respects) than implementing a plan for gradual, consensus-driven change.

Yes, sometimes thick-headed jackasses make revolutions necessary: King George, for example. But had he pulled his head out of his extremist, orthodoxy-addicted, ideological, narrow-minded, blinkered arse, the revolution need not have happened at all.

And that, friends, is why your Radical Centrist, contrarian, curmudgeonly correspondent keeps braying away from his position on the Political Compass (bang on the center of the L/R axis, and far away from the Authoritarian pole on that axis. See the link below to chart yourself.). He brays, hollers, and throws bricks upside the heads of the extremist community at every opportunity, hoping to get his point across. (“Maybe being nice would be a better approach”, you might say, and that’s a fair point. But he’s tried it and failed, so he’s going the blunt route these days.)

Far too many extremists are willing to “break eggs to make an omelet”. Those “eggs” are human beings with lives and loved ones. The idea that anyone could see the inevitable destruction of the lives and loves of their fellow Americans simply as a “cost of doing business”  is truly vomit-inducing. Particularly coming from the political Left, who are allegedly devoted to the betterment of mankind.

Anyone who advocates revolution when their people and country  are not in imminent danger of being killed en masse is a sociopathic mother***er who views his fellow Americans as disposable resources to be destroyed in the pursuit of his or her ideological Utopia.

And people like that are worth fighting. This Radical Centrist stands firmly for Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. Revolutionaries do not. If they did, they would not advocate measures that would strip us of all three.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

http://www.politicalcompass.org/