Handing out Rubber Fetus Dolls to Little Kids? Yep. That’s the New Front in the War on Women.

North Dakota’s War on Women got totally crazy recently , as “Pro-Life” loons shoved rubber fetus dolls into the candy bags of little children, without their parents’ knowledge and consent.  This, they call “education”. Actually, it’s an invasion of privacy akin to shoving condoms or other such materials into those bags. But never mind the rights of the parents and children, these anti-choice nutters are literally forcing  their creepy little squishy propaganda toys onto preschoolers and first-graders. Here’s the “toy”:

Even anti-abortion activists are creeped out by this revolting and un-American behavior. Yes, the people who want to take away your right to choose are outraged at this action. People want to educate their kids about sex at the appropriate time, and these “activists” are taking that choice away from parents  by doing this.

When the young Cranky boy was still with us, we went trick-or-treating, and as one must these days, checked the kid’s candy bag before he ate any of it. One year, he found lollipops with the name and phone number of a strip joint in the kid’s toy bag. He and a fair few other neighbors descended upon the givers of these “treats” and chewed them several new orifices. Some things just  aren’t appropriate to hand out to kindergarteners. (Full disclosure: This writer, back when musicians still got paid to work in strip clubs, backed strippers. There’s a time and a place for everything. But erotic lollies in the toy bags of 5-year-olds ain’t the time OR place.)

And just like that “exotic dancer”, these anti-choice buffoons are invading the privacy of our families and count themselves as virtuous for doing so. In reality, they disrespect their fellow Americans, their Constitution, and the children they claim to love.

Remember this, the next time “pro-choice” activists ask for your support. Next time, it might be YOUR kid getting freaked out by this behavior. And YOU having YOUR rights violated by these sanctimonious asses.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

The Dance of the Masturbating Fetuses

http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2013/06/17/texas-congressman-masturbating-fetuses-prove-need-for-abortion-ban/  Sometimes, a blogger has little to do but spread around the incredible wealth of absurdity that our “representatives” offer up to We The People. This is one of those times (we WISH we could make this kind of s*** up):

Texas Congresscritter Michael Burgess (R-Bedlam) said that since he has seen 15-week old male fetuses masturbating in the womb (exactly how he knows this I dunno, but hey, he’s a doctor, right?), why, there must be an absolute ban on all abortions: but he’ll settle for a ban set at 20 weeks. Really. He said that. Nope, not kidding:

“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” said Burgess, a former OB/GYN. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to believe that they could feel pain?”

Now, some might call this a stroke of genius, or the worst idea they ever came across. You might say he’s a real jerk, or that he’s read the Palma Sutra too many times. One could speculate that he has Onan and Oedipus confused or conflated. We all wonder what this dick is trying to pull. Is it really that hard, you little squirt?

OK, enough with the autoerotica puns. The real joke is that this is an OB/GYN turned “republican” “representative”, and these comments are now part of the Congressional Record. Future generations will need this comic relief as they read up on how we took such a promising nation and turned it into a large heap of dung, presided over by fundagelical ignoramuses.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

“Pro-Life” Policies Are Killing Pregnant Women. “Republicans” Support The Same Policies and Therefore Support The Same Killings.

Here is yet another story of anti-abortion laws that are murdering pregnant women. (It has happened in Ireland, too, lest you think El Salvador is unique.)

This case is simple: woman becomes pregnant, finds out her baby will be born without most of its brain and will thus die soon after birth: also finds out that she will die if she carries that child to term; and is forced by the El Salvadoran Supreme Court to carry the child to term anyway. This “pro-life” law will kill the mother, and will also result in a dead baby. So no lives are being saved by the so-called “pro-life” laws: in fact, these laws will end up killing even more people.

The “Republican” party fully supports such laws, and wants America to have them too. This means that Repubs are OK with murdering pregnant women. Let’s say that again: Republicans support murdering pregnant women.

Oh, they’ll try to dodge this, of course, but if you support a policy that includes a consequence, then boyo, you support that consequence. If you support a policy that results in killing pregnant women, you support killing pregnant women. Period. Own it.

Anyone who votes for a Repub shows their own support for murdering pregnant women. Think about that when you next enter a voting booth. They hold these policies because they think you support them (said support being proven by your vote). If you withhold that vote, they’ll get the message and change the policy. If you give them that vote, they will keep the murderous policy in place. Your choice, to support or oppose the murder of pregnant women.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

How Do You Spell “Irrelevant”? B-O-E-H-N-E-R

Mr. Blunt and Cranky was not surprised at Speaker John Boehner’s weekend statement announcing that banning abortion was his priority in 2013. Disgusted, yes. But not surprised. Anyone who thought the “Republican” party had learned thing one from the shellacking they took last fall should now be on notice that their hopes have been dashed.

After riding a tsunami of vituperative, irrational, ill-considered and short-sighted (Mr. Magoo could see farther than these yutzes can) rhetoric and actions for the past 4+ years, the Repubs have clearly decided that they are going to stick with that “strategy”, even though it has led to failure across the nation. So, what screwed the pooch the hardest in 2012? Culture-war issues. So of course, Johnny Boehner is going there again.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/25/john-boehner-abortion-march-for-life_n_2552597.html

When we have: a resurgent Al-Qaida; millions of people unemployed; starving children; foreign wars; crumbling highways; a shortage of qualified technical workers; a raging deficit; and a host of other issues that the rest of the country agrees are important; indeed, the House GOP is so deluded they think we all agree with them about their latter-day-Mrs.-Mao-Culture-Crusade, never mind that the results of the election proved them wrong

Last cycle, the Elephants thought they could whip the Donkeys by manipulating their base and rigging elections. Didn’t work, of course. Any person with half an ounce of objectivity would change things up a bit. But the Boehner Brigade figures they can do the same thing they did before, and maybe B.S. a few Latinos into voting for the GOP, and they’ll be back on top. Eedjits.

You know the stages of grief, right? Well, the ‘Phants are stuck in Denial. The rest of the country can’t afford to be all hippie-dippy, fluffy-bunny, tender and gentle, waiting for them to process and take their own time to heal and grow. We pay these fools to work for us, and there is work that needs doing, and that immediately.

We voters need to administer as many electoral bitch-slaps as possible: stop the rigging attempts, vote out every extremist loon we can, and clog their voice mails and email accounts and offices: tell them that we are sick of their lame-assed attempts to project their attitudes onto the rest of us and to get to work on the stuff the Constitution mandates them to do, instead of crapping all over the Establishment Clause while ignoring the real, unmet needs of our nation.

Mr. B & C

Lying Sack of S*** of The Week: Republicans Who Claim to Support Women’s Rights

Mr. Blunt and Cranky would like to make one thing plain at the outset: all Republicans oppose the right of a woman to make her own choices about health care. Every single Repub of every single variety is anti-choice, no exceptions. Some might claim to feel otherwise, but they elect “representatives” to office (and platform committee members, delegates and such) who uniformly oppose birth control and other vital health services, and further state that the best gynecological advice comes from a wealthy, white, elderly male fundagelical legislator with no knowledge of medicine or even basic science. By so acting and thus choosing, the modern Republicans expose their true attitudes. 

The liars that really hack this blogger off are Repub females who claim to be pro-choice. What a complete and utter load of mule muffins: all Republican women are effectively anti-choice, because they fund and support the Republican party, which is dedicated to destroying their reproductive and other health-care rights. If they truly were pro-choice, they could not in good conscience (or even in self-interest) support the Republican Party.

Kind of like being Black Klansmen or Jewish Nazis: regardless of their personal interests, they support a party that seeks at best to diminish their rights and legal standing within society. At worst, well, let’s not even go there.

The only difference between the average Repub and Todd Akin is one of honesty. Give Akin his due: the man may be an antediluvian, misogynistic, hateful, willfully ignorant luddite mother***er, but he came out and said what Ryan, Romney, Boehner, and the Platform Committee also think but don’t have the nuts to say out loud.

“Pro-Choice Republicans” – not just the LSoSoTW, but an oxymoron as well. Wear your Crown O’ Polished Turds with pride.

Mr. B & C

Abortion is Legal Because So Many Men Are Lying, Thoughtless, Irresponsible Dicks

When the U.S. Supreme Court legalized abortion, they did not rule on the morality, ethics, religious value or rightness/wrongness of abortion: in fact, the ruling wasn’t entirely about abortion at all. Let’s all take a moment to put our heads back together, since many of yours have likely just exploded.

All crania super-glued back together now? Excellent. Lots of folks think of a woman’s right to choose as it has been defined and discussed by TV preachers and glory-hound politicians, many of whom know nothing about the actual ruling (or pretend not to): they frame it as a Godless, liberal, genocidal baby-killing spree imposed upon the Godly American majority by a Satanic Supreme Court, or some similar load of twaddle.

In reality, the ruling hinged upon something far more basic: men cannot get pregnant, and there is no Constitutional way to force them to be accountable towards the women they impregnate or the children they help to create. As the late-night infomercial boyos like to say, “it’s just that simple”.

What the Supremes found was this: lots of men lie to women in order to get laid. Wow, who’d a thunk that? And if they get a woman pregnant, they likewise lie about taking care of the woman and child (or just take off). This leaves the woman completely and totally responsible for the consequences of an act that two people consented to (rape and other sex crimes that result in pregnancy are for another post), because the baby is inside her and she pretty much has to deal with that reality. Meanwhile the man can either be responsible, or not.

In nature, men can choose whether or not to deal with a pregnancy they help create, and women cannot (that’s the real meaning behind “pro-choice”). Simply put: Nature has created an inequality when it comes to pregnancy. The Supreme Court recognized this, and THAT is where Roe V. Wade came from. Giving women the same amount of choice as men. Equality, in other words. You know, that teenytiny little concept that our whole nation was founded upon? Yeah, that equality.

Yes, I hear you say, we have court-ordered child support: surely that addresses the situation? It might help, if there were any way to guarantee such payments: in reality, many men evade such court orders or simply don’t pay up when they are ordered to. Nor does child support cover all of the burdens of single parenthood.

Mr.  Blunt and Cranky has imagined lots of fun ways to make men deal with their sexual behavior: surgical insertion of bowling balls into their intestines so that they can feel a bit of the pregnancy experience; forced labor on chain-gangs for 18 years with all proceeds going to the mother and child; all sorts of amusing notions, none of which, alas, are the least bit constitutional.

(One should notice that almost none of the recent restrictive state and local laws regarding abortion say thing one about making men deal with their share of responsibility. These laws take away the rights of women while doing nothing to address the fundamental inequity that the Supreme Court sought to rectify. Small wonder, since most of these bills were written by male politicians, who are evidently lying, thoughtless, irresponsible dicks, taking care of themselves and their like-minded brethren.)

When and if a way can be found to make 100 percent of men as 100 percent responsible as women for the children they create, perhaps Roe V Wade might no longer be necessary. Until then, while so many men remain a**holes about sex and reproduction, it is indispensable to the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness of women (remember them? They’re the majority of Americans).

Mr. B & C

PS: Here’s what 100% prohibition of abortion looks like: http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/18/world/americas/dominican-republic-abortion/index.html