Archives for posts with tag: Ron Johnson

Sometimes, the bulls*** is truly epic. Ron Johnson, “Republican” Senator from the great state of Insanity, went magnificently bugf*** crazy this week at the FundieFest.

Yes, this man thinks that we should hate and fear our government. Really. He also says the Founding Fathers felt the same way.

Ya know, people who build houses rarely hate and fear houses. People who hate and fear booze rarely go into the Bourbon business. But in JohnsonLand, people who hate and fear governments build, well, governments.

Not just a liar, but crazy into the bargain. Ron Johnson, here’s your Crown O’ Polished Turds. (Sorry, we don’t have anything for nutjobs, just liars. See a doctor for the crazy. Please.)

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Here is the story of Rand Pail and eleven other Senators who are making sure that crazy people and violent criminals can buy any guns they want, any time they want to. They will filibuster any and all legislation that would keep kooks and perps away from weapons that could be used to slaughter innocent adults and children.

These twelve Senators are standing firm in their support for violent, insane, sociopathic murderers like Adam Lanza. They are shoulder-to-shoulder with terrorists like Timothy McVeigh. They support convicted felons who want to mug little old ladies and shoot them. They just love the two teenaged scumbuckets who shot a baby in the head last month. Yes, America, if you want to have guns, the Dirty Dozen wants you to have them too: even if a judge has found you to be mentally incompetent, or if you have a history of committing violent felonies.

You see, among the proposals that would be up for a vote in the Senate is one that would close some loopholes in our current background check system. 90% of Americans support this measure. That is ninety percent of our fractious, divided nation agreeing on something. When is the last time you saw that many of us agree on anything? We don’t want lunatics running around gunning down our children. We don’t want convicted felons shooting our babies and grandparents. That is what almost every American believes.

But these Senators don’t give a damn what we the people think. They only care about pocketing their large paychecks from the NRA. Never mind if the rest of us get our asses shot off by someone who should not legally be able to purchase a weapon. Nope, they are not concerned with the opinion of the law-abiding majority of Americans. They are watching out for the rights of the felons and the criminally insane to have assault weapons.

One doubts that the twelve sleazebuckets would say so themselves , of course. They’d prattle on with some conspiracy theory about black helicopter-riding Soviet assassins, coming to take our guns and canned goods, because they hate our freedoms; that, or something even less coherent.

But since what they do supports the gun rights of loonies, terrorists and criminals, then they are supporters of loonies, terrorists and criminals. Ladies and Gentlemen, we present Senators Paul, Cruz, Rubio, Lee, Moran, Inhofe, Burr, Johnson, Enzi, Risch, Crapo, Coats and Roberts: the Crazy Criminal Caucus.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky