The government is not, repeat NOT scared of your guns. Here’s proof.

The arms industry makes a pretty penny by scaring us into thinking that the Eeeeeevil Government is gonna take away our firearms. Indeed, they and their pet politicos would have us believe that our guns are the only thing stopping said evil gummint from imposing some sort of Satanic tyranny. This is fertilizer of the finest, and here is how we know it’s bulls***:

Go look for active legislative, judicial, or executive actions that seek to take away our right to keep and bear arms (RKBA for short). No rumors, no CT, no crap you heard at the bar or barbershop, we are talking actual government actions to violate our Second Amendment rights. You found nothing, right? Neither did I.

Now look for government actions to limit or take away your right to VOTE. You found a helluva lot, right? Yeah, me too.

It’s not your bullets that the government fears, Gentle Reader: it’s your BALLOTS. Were they scared of our guns, they’d be trying to take them away, and they aren’t. Pretty clear, isn’t it?

Want to scare your elected “representatives”? Get on out and vote, and show them who’s boss.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky (proud gun owner AND voter)

Murdered for texting his three-year-old daughter.

Yes, that is what happened. A retired police officer named Curtis Reeves got so mad about young father Chad Oulson texting his young daughter during a movie, he shot the poor guy and his wife. Mr. Oulson was unarmed and is now dead, because he loved his daughter and texted her while he and his wife went out on a short date.

The murderer in this case was a highly trained public safety professional, and on the face of it would seem an unlikely person to just up and kill a man over such a petty thing as texting. That being the case, we all might want to think very hard about carrying guns with us in public places. Had Mister Reeves been carrying, say, mace instead of a .380, he would have been just as safe, and Mister Oulson’s daughter would still have her daddy.

But because Curtis Reeves is like so many Americans (cowardly little wussies who are too s***-scared to go to a friggin’ movie without a cannon jammed down their trousers), a cute young preschooler will have to live the rest of her life without her father, and her mother will have to raise her alone. All for no good reason.

The lesson here, friends, is that a “well-regulated militia” does not = a “bunch of idiots running around with handguns 24/7”. There ARE places in our country in which one would be advised to have a weapon; but a movie theatre during a matinee in a good neighborhood is not one of them. We have the right to keep and bear arms, and we also have the obligation to use that right responsibly.

And because some scaredy-cat old coot did NOT use his Second Amendment rights in a responsible manner, a grieving widow and her toddler are weeping over the loss of the man they loved. A loss that should not have happened. A loss that would not have happened if the old fart had been a good citizen, used his brain, and left his handgun locked up in the gun safe.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Lying Sacks of S*** of The Week: Gun Nuts and the Arms Industry

And they have admitted it, after a fashion. You see, Smith and Wesson are predicting lower earnings after what they call the “gun frenzy” dials down a notch. A frenzy that they helped create so as to make tons of money from gullible fools who were idiot enough to believe that the Obaminator was coming after their guns.

This writer is in business and has said previously that this “get your guns while you still can bilge” is nothing but a way to transfer our money into their bank accounts. And now they have confirmed it. They whipped up a frenzy to make even bigger bucks, and their shareholders are having a sad because the frenzy is waning.

Crowns O’ Polished Turds all around for the liars and the many idiots who spread those lies.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Lying Sack of S*** of The Week: Jim Porter

And who, you might ask, is Jim Porter? Why, he is the new Big Boss Gun Nut of the NRA. And a few of his truly epic lies (as well as his evident barking madness) can be found here.

Quite aside from his bulls*** validation of treasonous behavior (he thinks the South was right to secede in the 1800’s, for example), this nutjob says that the reason the NRA exists is to teach each and every one of us “the use of the standard military firearm”.

Really? Standard military firearms include automatic rifles, machine guns, grenade launchers, and other such weapons. Many of which are illegal, per the Constitution as interpreted by the Supreme Court.

So, apparently, this jackass thinks the NRA was founded in order to do illegal, seditious acts, and to teach us all to do likewise. What the NRA usually says is that they are helping to preserve our Constitutional rights. So, either the NRA’s been lying about its mission for a good few years, or Mr. Porter has earned his Crown O’ Polished Turds. This writer thinks it is the latter.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Twelve Senators Are Helping Crooks and Crazies Buy Guns

Here is the story of Rand Pail and eleven other Senators who are making sure that crazy people and violent criminals can buy any guns they want, any time they want to. They will filibuster any and all legislation that would keep kooks and perps away from weapons that could be used to slaughter innocent adults and children.

These twelve Senators are standing firm in their support for violent, insane, sociopathic murderers like Adam Lanza. They are shoulder-to-shoulder with terrorists like Timothy McVeigh. They support convicted felons who want to mug little old ladies and shoot them. They just love the two teenaged scumbuckets who shot a baby in the head last month. Yes, America, if you want to have guns, the Dirty Dozen wants you to have them too: even if a judge has found you to be mentally incompetent, or if you have a history of committing violent felonies.

You see, among the proposals that would be up for a vote in the Senate is one that would close some loopholes in our current background check system. 90% of Americans support this measure. That is ninety percent of our fractious, divided nation agreeing on something. When is the last time you saw that many of us agree on anything? We don’t want lunatics running around gunning down our children. We don’t want convicted felons shooting our babies and grandparents. That is what almost every American believes.

But these Senators don’t give a damn what we the people think. They only care about pocketing their large paychecks from the NRA. Never mind if the rest of us get our asses shot off by someone who should not legally be able to purchase a weapon. Nope, they are not concerned with the opinion of the law-abiding majority of Americans. They are watching out for the rights of the felons and the criminally insane to have assault weapons.

One doubts that the twelve sleazebuckets would say so themselves , of course. They’d prattle on with some conspiracy theory about black helicopter-riding Soviet assassins, coming to take our guns and canned goods, because they hate our freedoms; that, or something even less coherent.

But since what they do supports the gun rights of loonies, terrorists and criminals, then they are supporters of loonies, terrorists and criminals. Ladies and Gentlemen, we present Senators Paul, Cruz, Rubio, Lee, Moran, Inhofe, Burr, Johnson, Enzi, Risch, Crapo, Coats and Roberts: the Crazy Criminal Caucus.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Hypocrisy in America: Making People Buy Products They Don’t Want

Mr. Blunt and Cranky well recalls the outrage amongst the Raging Righties in Their Tightie-Whities when ObamaCare “forced people to buy a product they don’t want”. This rant went all the way to the Supreme Court, where it got smacked down with little ceremony. Not that this mattered a whit to the Righties, who still claim that the government should  not be allowed to require citizens to purchase products that they may not personally choose to buy.

Funny, isn’t it, that when the topic turns to guns, then it’s OK for the government to force you to buy a product against your will? http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/02/16/16987214-georgia-towns-law-requires-gun-ownership?lite 

Yes, that’s right: many of the same screechers who were all up in arms about having to buy insurance are perfectly OK with having to buy a gun. Even in our modern world, that is hypocrisy of the highest order.

The Blunt and Cranky family has insurance and guns, and freely chose in both cases to acquire the articles. No one had to compel us to make the purchases, so you might say we don’t have a dog in this fight. But you’d be wrong. We are Americans and care deeply about the nation, so unlike some folks, we give a s*** about justice for our fellow citizens.

And in the interest of that justice, this writer offers a seemingly obvious thought: regardless of the product, the government either may or may not compel you to purchase it. Period. If Big Brother can make you buy something you approve of, he can make you buy something you don’t approve of. Damn the politics, and the lobbyists, and the BS Facebook memes, what’s legal in one case is legal in another.

We are a nation of laws, like it or not. If you’ll let The Man tell you to do Thing One, then you gotta let The Man tell you do Thing Two.

Disagree? Then you’re a hypocrite, plain and simple.

Mr. B & C

The NRA and “Republicans”, Talking Out Their A**es Again

At yesterday’s hearings on Gun Control, the ever-unhinged NRA mouthpiece Wayne LaPierre repeated one of the standard “Republican” lines: that we do not need new laws until President Obama enforces the existing ones. Sounds reasonable until you remember that:

Number A: the biggest impediment to the enforcement of existing laws is the Teapublicans’ persistent defunding of the government agencies who are charged with said enforcement. These Right-Wing fools expect our public safety resources to do more and more, while simultaneously refusing to pay them for so doing. Repubs must think money magically appears when needed, perhaps delivered by perky little fairies riding unicorns.

Letter 2: it is not Obama’s job to enforce each and every law on the books. No one person can do that. It takes thousands of people at all levels of government to do so. And they, too, have had their authority undermined, staffs reduced and budgets slashed by the “conservative” “Republicans”, to the point that they can barely do anything to enforce any laws at all.

Tell you what, Waynie old buddy old pal: give the cops the money and resources they need to enforce existing laws before you trot out that line of B.S. again.

Mr. B & C

Every Right We Have Comes With Restrictions

If Mr. Blunt and Cranky were to shout “BANG BANG BANG” as a Popemobile went by, he’d be smothered by cops and suchlike in about a nanosecond. Never mind the First Amendment.

And if he started a religion that urged his parishoners to kill politicians, he’d probably be shot to death in short order. Never mind the Establishment Clause.

And if he decided to flip the bird to the IRS, he’d be in jail so fast it would make your head swim. And so on.

The point of these quaint examples? Here it is: all the gun-crazed tools of the armament industry really, REALLY need to take a Reality Pill or something.

There are no rights in our Constitution that are completely unrestricted, and for good reason. We humans kinda need regulated a bit, to keep us from nuking, stabbing, robbing, cheating, and generally screwing each other to death.

So when Congress gets off its loathsome, spotted behind and votes in a few weenie-arsed, girlie-man restictions on our guns, relax. It won’t be the end of the world.

Mr. B & C

President Bush Used an Executive Order to Ban Assault Rifles

Mr. Blunt and Cranky would remind everyone that President Bush did just that, back in 1989. Yes, he did. And the country survived that Executive Order, did it not?

So if Obama does it, no big deal. Everybody chill. If the Repubs can ban guns, so can the Dems. Deal with it: Yup. It’s legal.

Mr. B & C

Lying Sack of S*** of The Week; Wayne LaPierre

This week’s winner of the Crown O’ Polished Turds is the mouthpiece of the arms industry, AKA the NRA (they used to represent we gun owners, but times change, times change).

He earned the title not only by lying throughout his conference, but also twisting the few truthful things he did say:

http://m.washingtonpost.com/politics/remarks-from-the-nra-press-conference-on-sandy-hook-school-shooting-delivered-on-dec-21-2012-transcript/2012/12/21/bd1841fe-4b88-11e2-a6a6-aabac85e8036_story.html

Read it and weep. Or, if you’re more akin to Mr. Blunt and Cranky, read it and curse loudly. Ladies and Gents, we give you (and please keep him) Wayne LaPierre, the Lying Sack of S*** of The Week.

Mr. B & C