“Republicans”: Don’t Fix the Problem, Make it a Secret Instead.

It’s a reflex, really: anytime Teapubbies want to do a thing and some pesky thing like “legality” or “optics” interferes, they do the thing anyway, and hide it. Look in your dictionary under “Teapot Dome” or “Watergate” for some classic examples. But it didn’t stop there, Cranksters: here are three examples from recent American history, showing that the GOPee is all about them thar secret thangs:

Number A: Recently, a lot of drug companies (ya know, they exist to make money by saving lives) have refused to sell Ohio drugs if they’ll be used to end lives instead of saving them. This puts a crimp in the execution-via-lethal-injection process that is so beloved by “conservatives”. In short, it’s getting hard for the Gummint to kill people quickly and cheaply.

So, there’s the thing Teapubs want to do: kill convicts. Do they come up with a new way of doing this, or an alternative punishment? Nope. In Ohio, they are trying to pass a law that would hide death drug information instead:

State lawmakers are preparing to introduce legislation to address legal concerns about Ohio’s administration of the death penalty, likely including language to keep secret the names of sources of execution drugs. Batchelder said the legislation has been drafted, and he anticipated its introduction in coming days. He declined to offer specifics about what would be included in the bill, though he said it would address issues that have arisen from court decisions related to the death penalty. “We have a problem in the sense that some of the federal judges have held that our existing system does not provide due process safeguards for those who have been convicted of homicide,” he said.

Got that? The problem is that Ohio (like some other states) is unconstitutionally executing convicts. Do the Repubs seek a constitutional way to execute said offenders? Of course not, don’t be silly. ‘Tis far easier to hide their actions than to solve the problem at hand.

Letter Two: also in newly-Red-ified Ohio (motto: “As red as Ohio State’s Scarlet, as Confederate as Ohio State’s Gray”), Guv Kasich wanted to hand his Kronies a lot of Kash. Alas, that’s illegal. So, he set up a secret money-laundering scam called JobsOhio, and then added more secrecy when the public objected to having their collective pockets picked by a load of millionare motherf***rs. The link provides a good summary of the matter, sans cranky snark and lingua franca.

Thirdly: since it’s illegal for Parties to coordinate with “outside groups”, Repubs had a problem in the recent election cycle: how to, well, break that law and get away with it. The solution? A secret Twitter account, of course. Click the link there, it’s pretty f***ing outrageous s***.

Nor are these the only examples. ‘Twould take a hundred bloggers a hundred hours to document a hundredth of these crimes. They are sufficient to illustrate the situtation: the scumball “Republicans” that Americans have stupidly put in charge of 2/3 of our government are a load of uber-liars and thieves who are not only adept at hiding their crimes: they instinctively hide them. Trust them not a bit, Gentle Reader. Not a single bit.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Who Cares who Alison Lundergan Grimes Voted For?

Bitchy Mitchy McConnell tells a lot of lies. A LOT of lies. But a very subtle and sneaky one jumped out at this humble blogger during the lone debate with his Democratic challenger: he said Americans have no right to a secret ballot:

Grimes stuck to her days-long refusal to say if she voted for Obama in 2008 and 2012. She insisted that if she answered the question, it would “compromise a constitutional right” to cast a secret ballot.

McConnell quickly scoffed at that. “There’s no sacred right to not announce how you voted,” he said, seated next to Grimes for an hour-long debate hosted by KET, the state’s public television station.

There is indeed no explicit Constitutional right to a secret ballot: because Boards of Election need to track voters and ballots to prevent fraud. But that’s the only place where your right to voting privacy is limited.

But old Jerkle the Turtle goes a step further: not only does he not think you have a right to privacy in the voting booth, he thinks you can be forced to reveal your votes if any old yahoo asks you. This is some truly, scarily insidious, authoritarian, big-government s*** here, folks: “Republicans” think they can force you to tell them how you voted, and that you have no right to privacy.

It’s of a piece with GOP philosophy: they hates them some Fourth Amendment. Repubs think the government should be able to wiretap you, arrest you, torture you, dictate your medical care, and monitor your sex life. So voting rights are likewise non-starters for Big Brother Motherf***ers like McConnell and the rest of his party. Once again, Gentle Reader: Repubs think you have no right to privacy.

We should all of us applaud Ms. Grimes’ strong stand on privacy, and support her right to not say for whom she voted. This seems obvious, but even some Democrats are saying she should tell us all how she voted. Poppy-f***ing-cock. She has the same privacy rights as the rest of us, and we should all have her back on this issue – because we all are in the same boat. Want to be forced to tell your boss how you voted, or your parents, or a “news” organization? This writer does not, and you shouldn’t have to, either.

This election isn’t just about candidates, folks: it’s about our freedom from Big Government Repubs and their NSA-Patriot Act-Morals Police-Brute Squad vision of America. We all need to vote against any candidate who would take away our rights, and support any candidate who supports our rights.

Your humble correspondent doesn’t give a single turd from a tufted titmouse’s ass how Ms. Grimes voted. It’s her right to keep it private, and good on her for asserting that right.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Teapublican Obstruction leads to Fewer Millennial Voters. Was that Planned?

It’s a fair question. Did Boehner and McConnell and all the other Kochsuckers work to cut down on Democratic voter turnout at the same time they stuck it to the Prexy all these years? It’s one way to interpret those falling numbers of Millennial voters:

And for a while, it didn’t look like millennials would need much convincing. As more members of this generation reached voting age, participation among young voters rose. The peak year was 2008 (52 percent). In 2012, the turnout among voters 18-29 dropped to 45 percent.

On top of that, the rate of voters under 30 who could say with certainty that they were registered to vote fell steadily after 2008, according to the Pew Research Center. By 2012, it hit 50 percent — the lowest number Pew has recorded going back as far as 1996.

Ashley Spillane, the president of Rock the Vote, says it’s no mystery why millennials, or any voters, would be turned off from the process: “Politics right now is really disheartening. I think it’s why you see in the polls that young people are not affiliating with political parties.”

Think about it for a second: right before the “Republicans” started their “f*** Obama and the voters he rode in on” campaign, youth voting numbers were frickin’ huge, because the kids believed change was possible. But after 6 years of deliberate Teabagger destruction of change, the youth of America are disillusioned and are disengaging. And Millennials tend to vote for Dems.

Coincidence? In these times? Yeah, right. There is no way to prove it, of course, but in the end it doesn’t really matter whether or not the GOP has been manipulating Millennials on purpose or just enjoying a fringe benefit of their racist, treasonous, corrupt plan to seize power.

It doesn’t matter for two reasons:
Number A: it is wrong to suppress votes, whether it is a primary or secondary goal, and
Letter 2: the way to fight back is to defy expectations, by voting.

Millennials, wake up: you have been played. Strike back by voting against every Repub in every race, every ballot, every election. Vote to show them you are smarter than they think you are. Vote, because they don’t want you to.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Foreigners are buying American elections, thanks to the Supreme Court.

Remember Citizens United? It was a Supreme Court ruling that allowed billionaires and corporations to buy elections. It also created a secret world in which politicos can be bribed with no way for us to bust them for being corrupt.

Oh, and remember how Obama warned that Citizen’s United could open the door to foreign money buying US elections, and the Chief Justice called the Prexy a liar? Well, golly gee whiz, it turns out that President Obama was right. As the linked article says:

In a first of its kind case, federal prosecutors say a Mexican businessman funneled more than $500,000 into U.S. political races through Super PACs and various shell companies. The alleged financial scheme is the first known instance of a foreign national exploiting the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision to influence U.S. elections.

It turns out that although Citizens United did not change the legality of foreign contributions in the U.S., it enabled the type of illegal schemes now being alleged by federal prosecutors.

“Before Citizens United, in order for a foreign national to try and do this, they’d have to set up a pretty complex system of shell corporations,” said Brett Kappel, a campaign finance expert at the law firm Arent Fox. “And even then, there were dollar limits in place. After Citizens United, there are no limits on independent expenditures.”

Got it? Either the Supreme Court intended for this to happen, or they were so shortsighted and pig-ignorant as to ignore the possibility. No matter which, the result is as predicted: foreign nationals are buying American elections and politicians. And this is only one that we caught. Who knows how many other cases there are, buried in the labyrinthian snakepit of American political “financing”?

Thanks to Presidents Reagan, Bush and Bush for stacking the Supreme Court with Raging Righties in Tightie Whities; because of the hyper-partisan Wingnuts on the Court; the integrity and independence of American government has been gravely damaged. Until Citizens United is repealed, none of us can ever know which of our politicians is actually in the service of a foreign national or even an unfriendly government.

Remember this, Gentle Reader: it is because of “Conservative” “Republicans” that our elections are being bought.And they ARE being bought. This could (and likely will) lead to a foreign takeover of our government if we don’t put a stop to it.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Snowden is a “Free Man in Russia”? Really?

Just ask Pussy Riot, gay tourists, businessmen and anyone who has irritated their KGB-boss leader (Putin).

Troublemakers are never free in Russia. Snowden is in for a shock.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Kasich and his Corrupt Cronies Caught Stealing

Now we know why JobsOhio has fought to keep itself secret. Turns out that most of its board members were on the take. The Dayton Daily News lays it all out: people taking taxpayer money, hiding it, and then pushing it into their own pockets.

You might remember all the times Little Johnnie tried to make things secret: his own inauguration, his staffs’ resumes, and many more. But he has fought hardest to keep JobsOhio under wraps.

You see, Kasich and Ko. destroyed a state agency and created a secret private company to steal our tax dollars “do its job more efficiently”. And when the state auditor tried to find out where our tax dollars had gone, his cronies in the legislature made it illegal to audit JobsOhio.

When someone keeps secrets, we always wonder what they are hiding. Now we know what these Ohio “Republicans” were trying to cover up: corruption, theft, and lies.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Lying Sack of S*** of The Week: Ted “Poopie Panties” Nugent

Normally, Mr. Blunt and Cranky awards a Crown O’ Polished Turds to the weekly winner of this contest. However, as will be seen, this recipient seems to have serious issues with s***, and it would be inadvisable to provide him with more than he already possesses. So, no crown this week, just the title.

Teddy Boi is a lying sack of s***: indeed, a sack full to bursting. The only question is which of his statements are lies, and which are not. You see, back in the 70’s little Teddy gave an interview in which he described his outlandish and successful efforts to avoid getting his little poop-covered butt shot off in Vietnam.
See the link below: the man used hard drugs, went without any sort of body cleansing for a month, and crapped his pants for days prior to his physical exam: the purpose? Why, to fake mental illness and so avoid the draft. Mr. Blunt and Cranky read that magazine at the time and recalls the interview quite well.

In more recent years, Theodore Crapped His Pants has been denying that he dodged the draft. The Selective Service records do seem to line up with the interview contents, but there is no 100% solid, documented proof either way:Snopes

One way or another, Teddy Turd Trousers is lying:
Number A; he did indeed take the coward’s way out and let other, more patriotic men go to Vietnam and die in his place while he smugly stayed home, pretending to be a brave man, and is now lying about it, or
Letter 2: he lied in that interview.

Either way, this bellicose, child-molesting, unsanitary, chickenhawk musical has-been is the Lying Sack of S*** of The Week. And never has a recipient been more deserving (or more sickening).

Mr. B & C

Stupid Wussy Right-Wingers Have No Nuts

We are all familiar by now with the cowardly Ted Nugent, who literally crapped his pants when he thought he might be drafted, yet talks a big game about guns and shooting other people (like the Prexy, for instance). What a sorry little needledicked pussy is Teddy Poopy Panties.

Turns out there are a lot of little Teddy Bois running around out there: Wimps With Tweets. These are tweets from momma-threw-away-the-baby-and-raised-the-afterbirth types who think that Presidential Assassination is great fun. Not that any of these zeebs would have the guts to do so.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky was around for the assassinations of both Kennedys and MLK, and the attempts on Reagan and Bush The Elder. None of these were funny. None of them were good. All of them were despicable crimes against people and our nation as a whole. The difference between then and now?

Why, back then there were far fewer hate merchants promulgating their filth on the airwaves, in print and via social media. The Limbaughs, Hannities and others of their ilk have made it ordinary and thus socially acceptable to shout violent hate speech 24/7/365, and so it is hardly surprising that others have chosen to emulate them.

Hopefully all of these chicken-shit big-mouthed tools will get a visit from the Secret Service, so they can further emulate Nugent by crapping their own pants in fear. It is probably too much to hope that they would grow a pair and perhaps even learn to speak in a responsible, adult, and rational manner.

Mr. B & C

Most of Romney’s Campaign Money is Secret. Surprised?

Mr. Blunt and Cranky is not. From the start, Romney’s campaign (indeed, his very life) has been shrouded in secrecy, and when a bit is revealed, that bit is obfuscated or contradicted. So it makes sense that the money being used to buy his attempt at the Presidency would follow form.

A survey done by three organizations has provided, among other very revealing information about both parties, this handy little chart (more at the link below, which this writer hopes you will click):

Ad Spending By Outside Groups, April 10-Oct. 10

Party Affiliation	Amount Spent	Donor Status	Percent
Democratic	$20,032,460	Disclosed	86.6%
Democratic	$3,101,280	Undisclosed	13.4%
Total Democratic	$23,133,740
Republican	$69,112,620	Disclosed	44.4%
Republican	$86,600,860	Undisclosed	55.6%
Total Republican	$155,713,480

Source: Kantar Media CMAG

Notice the huge difference in amounts, but even more so the difference in secrecy. Most “Republican” money is hidden in the shadows, like cockroaches and other similar vermin. While the Dems do have their secret-keepers, they are by far the minority.

To sum up: you can choose to trust people who do not trust you, and receive the usual rewards of such foolish behavior. Or you can show them how you feel by not voting for them. At the end of the day, people who keep secrets are usually hiding something revolting, shameful, illegal, immoral, or suchlike.

In this case, they are keeping secrets from you because they are afraid you won’t vote for them if you find out their secrets. And that is reason enough to vote against Romney, Ryan, and anyone else whose elections are being bought by slimy, shadowy crooks like Rove and his ilk.

Mr. B & C

http://www.npr.org/blogs/itsallpolitics/2012/10/15/162955073/study-secret-donors-significantly-fueling-pro-romney-tv-ads

Mitt, You Coward, Come and Say That Lying S*** to My Face One Time

http://www.businessweek.com/ap/2012-09-20/who-are-mitt-romneys-47-percent-a-breakdown is a good read, explaining the three demographic groups who ol’ Willie M. Romney was trash-talking behind their backs, said back-stabbing recently revealed by a hidden video camera (First, Pamela Anderson. Now, the Republicans. They never learn).

According to Mitt, if you are likely to vote for Obama, don’t pay Federal income taxes, and/or receive Federal benefits, why then, you’re a lazy, mooching little bit of scum beneath his tasseled loafers and thus unworthy of his thought. Much has been made of the rudeness, the insensitivity, the manifold other failings revealed by the statement. Not much has been made of the lie behind the words, so Mr. Blunt and Cranky shall make something of it here:

This writer falls into one category – likely Obama voter (not so much pro-Obama as anti-Romney), so he must be a whimpering little begging victim in Romneyworld: at least that is Willie’s lie.

Here’s the truth: this writer works 13-hour days at his  main job, is starting two small businesses, pays a s***-load of taxes and takes care of home, hearth, family and  community in his copious free time.

A moocher, am I? Hey, Mitt, stop cowering behind your wealth and power, and stop over  the house all on your lonesome and let’s see if you have the nuts to say that lying crap to my face. Bring it, you little nancy-boy. Here’s five bucks that says you won’t .

MR. B & C.