Cranky’s First Law: Whenever a Politician accuses someone else of immorality, they reveal their own Iack of morality.

The whole Teabagger Meltdown over Caitlyn Jenner is just the most recent example of hypocritical moralizers with their own secretly amoral lives: for instance, the many-times-married, closeted gay foghorn Rush Limbaugh lambasted her for, well, being a her. Mike Huckabee responded to the Vanity Fair photo of Ms. Jenner by extolling the joys of showering with underaged girls. And so on. And on. AND on.

Every time a politico excoriates an opponent for conduct unbecoming, we come to find out that they have a related skeleton in their own closet. Like “pro-lifer” Scott DesJarlais, who pressured his own wife and mistress to get abortions. Or David Vitter, who hates all sex offenders except himself? Or the crew of Congressional Sluts (Hastert, Hyde, Gingrich, et. al.) who prosecuted Bubba in Blowjobgate?

Sometimes, a fiscal hawk can indeed be a good money manager. And some defense critics actually have served in combat. But never will you see a preachy poltico or pundit rant and rail about dah gay, or women’s healthcare, or anything related to sexual morality who doesn’t have his or her own little secret sex life. Usually one that they are pretending to hate.

Put another way,Orin Kerr recently said these few pithy words:

“If I understand the history correctly, in the late 1990s, the President was impeached for lying about a sexual affair by a House of Representatives led by a man who was also then hiding a sexual affair, who was supposed to be replaced by another Congressman who stepped down when forced to reveal that he too was having a sexual affair, which led to the election of a new Speaker of the House who now has been indicted for lying about payments covering up his sexual contact with a boy.”

Cranky’s First Law has been proven. NEVER trust a politico, pundit, or plutocrat who claims to hate ANY sort of sex or gender-related activity. Sure as eggs is eggs, they are down with some serious private (and mayhap illegal) naughtiness of their own.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Looking for Morality and Ethics? Look to the Gay Leather Community.

Your humble bloggespondent spent the past weekend supporting a family member at an event hosted by a gay leather group. And, as always, the degree of respect, honesty, integrity, and community service pervaded the gathering to an extent never experienced in, say, a church, legislature, boardroom or other such environment.

Think about that, Gentle Reader. The “others” outclass the “normals” when it comes to the values we all profess to hold dear. Hard work? Check. Truthfulness? Check. Ethical conduct? Check. Strict moral code? Check.

In fact, these taxpaying citizens, for all that they are marginalized and shunned by America’s mainstream culture, are in fact exemplary members of that culture. That doesn’t surprise this writer, who has many good friends in the gay leather community.

But it’s a fair bet that many heads in the straight world just exploded after reading the preceding paragraphs.

Think about that, Gentle Reader. Those among us whom we are told to despise are in many respects people we should be emulating. Those the Teavangelicals would have us execute for being gay actually better exemplify the teachings of Jesus than do most right-wing “Republican Christians”. The gay leather community as a whole is a safer, more trustworthy place than just about anywhere else in this country.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

(P. S. – You know what almost never got mentioned? Gay sex. Indeed, you will hear far more talk about gay sex from “Christian” Fundagelicals or on Fox “news” than you ever will at a gay leather event.)

Whores for whores: NC Politicians can legally be bribed with sexual favors.

No, this is not a joke. Or at least, it’s not funny. You can now “gift” any and every North Carolina official with sexual favors, and it’s legal.

North Carolina’s State Ethics Committee has just opened up a major problem for their state — they just made it legal for lobbying firms to purchase prostitutes to service politicians. The Committee’s determination that sex had no value and that sex between a lobbyist and politician was nothing to report or in any way questionable means that a major loophole has opened up for lobbying firms. Now lobbying firms can hire people with the explicit goal to seduce and fornicate with politicians in order to garner favor.

In other terms, lobbying firms can hire people who can offer sexual services for politicians, and they don’t even need to register.

Whores servicing whores. Both parties being pimped out. With human trafficking, child abuse, slavery and other concerns that go with prostitution finally getting acknowledged in this country, Carolinians are taking a firm stand for abuse. Abuse of women, abuse of children, and abuse of power. All wrapped up in one, well, f***ing law.

Christ on a condom.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Alabama, the Pro-Goat-F***ing State.

And Justice Roy More sex with goatsore is the biggest pro-goat-f***er in the entire state. You see, for all his anti-marriage-equality rhetoric, Justice More sex with goatsore hasn’t said, well, a f***ing thing about his state’s pro-bestiality laws. Seems he likes it to to be legal to molest livestock and family pets, does it not?

By contrast, Mr. More sex with goatsore hates himself some marriage equality. The only logical conclusion to draw is that Alabama, having elected an anti-gay, pro-bestiality Chief Justice, supports sex with animals over sex with humans.

Of course, this conclusion could be disproven, by different behavior among Alabama voters. Unlikely, but possible. Meanwhile, all heterosexual animal abusers (who are rightly considered criminals in many other parts of the country) are warmly welcomed in the state. Unlike law-abiding gay people.

That, Gentle Reader, is totally f***ed. F***ed like Justice Roy Moore’s favorite goat.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Stop all the f*** ing victim-blaming, OK? Just stop it.

(Your humble correspondent is feeling exceptionally cranky today, so prepare for even less tact than usual.)

Recently, a scumbucket pervert misogynistic motherf***ing hacker stole a lot of nude photos of famous women and posted them online. And a lot of people who really should know better have said really stupid s*** like “it’s her own fault, because she posted them online”. All together now, let us respond from the First Book of Crankitude: “BULL-F***ing-S***”.

This is victim-blaming crap, and it is usually done to women. It takes many forms. A few examples:
“She should have known better than to have nude pictures of herself”;
“She shouldn’t have been drinking”;
“She shouldn’t have gone to a party”;
Or, of course, this writer’s pet peeve; “She was asking for it, dressing that way”.

All of these statements are pretty much equivalent: they are designed to control and degrade women, and have been used towards that end with (sadly) great success. And uttering any of them makes the speaker the moral equivalent of a peeping tom, Fundagelical wingnut preacher, rapist, or all of the above.

We don’t often (if ever) say these things about men. We don’t apply these antediluvian judgements to men. No, it’s pretty much always women who get the shame & blame treatment.

Until men are treated the same way as women, let’s all just stop treating women as if we were living in the dark f***ing ages. That isn’t really all that much to ask.

Mister Blunt and Cranky

It’s Official: Virginia “Republicans” Are Bats*** Insane

E. W. Jackson, a black “Christian” clergyman who supports segregation, hates Obama, gays and Moslems,, as well as most of his fellow Americans, and is generally considered to be absolutely barking mad; this man is the party’s candidate for Lieutenant Governor. Epic insanity, for the party and the man himself.

But they did not stop at nominating an utter and complete loon for that office: they have nominated another man whose wing has come off his nut to be their Gubernatorial candidate: Ken Cuccinelli, who recently showed his crazy stripe by attempting to tell married adults what sorts of sex they might have in their hitherto private bedrooms. Not only that, he has told Virginia state universities that they must discriminate, or they’ll be in big trouble.

So, after an election in which America loudly and clearly told both parties to get the Hell out of our bedrooms and stop discriminating against people for any reason whatsoever, Vir-ginny Repubs have told us that they are so obsessed with the sex lives of Virginians that they propose electing two sex-hating perverts to the two highest offices in the state.

Is it any wonder so many of us refuse to even consider voting for Elephants these days? Crazy. Just plain f***ing bughouse nuts.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Pope, Schmope.

Around the world, people and pundits are dealing with severely bunched-up undergarments after hearing that Big Bennie is stepping down as Pontiff.

Relax, everybody, not much will change. The Roman Catholic Church will still be the same organization that offed Huguenots by the truckload during the Reformation, tortured even more Jews during the Inquisition and molested unknown numbers of innocent children; just to name a few of their “greatest hits”.

Popish fellows come and go, and the Church continues committing crimes against humanity and indulging in financial activities that Bernie Madoff couldn’t even imagine. At the same time, individual members of the Church do wonderful things for poor and downtrodden people around the world. The Pope matters little to the church.

And how can this be true? Simple: his last day on the job is February 28th. His successor won’t be chosen until sometime in March. If Joey Ratz (or any Pope) were all that friggin’ important, how could the Church run without him?

Nope, the Pope matters not one bucket of warm spit. The Church goes along through the centuries, being both the best and the worst of humankind. Which schmuck sits in the Chair of Peter makes no difference.

Mr. B & C