Normally, Mr. Blunt and Cranky awards a Crown O’ Polished Turds to the weekly winner of this contest. However, as will be seen, this recipient seems to have serious issues with s***, and it would be inadvisable to provide him with more than he already possesses. So, no crown this week, just the title.

Teddy Boi is a lying sack of s***: indeed, a sack full to bursting. The only question is which of his statements are lies, and which are not. You see, back in the 70’s little Teddy gave an interview in which he described his outlandish and successful efforts to avoid getting his little poop-covered butt shot off in Vietnam.
See the link below: the man used hard drugs, went without any sort of body cleansing for a month, and crapped his pants for days prior to his physical exam: the purpose? Why, to fake mental illness and so avoid the draft. Mr. Blunt and Cranky read that magazine at the time and recalls the interview quite well.

In more recent years, Theodore Crapped His Pants has been denying that he dodged the draft. The Selective Service records do seem to line up with the interview contents, but there is no 100% solid, documented proof either way:Snopes

One way or another, Teddy Turd Trousers is lying:
Number A; he did indeed take the coward’s way out and let other, more patriotic men go to Vietnam and die in his place while he smugly stayed home, pretending to be a brave man, and is now lying about it, or
Letter 2: he lied in that interview.

Either way, this bellicose, child-molesting, unsanitary, chickenhawk musical has-been is the Lying Sack of S*** of The Week. And never has a recipient been more deserving (or more sickening).

Mr. B & C