Proof Positive that the Republican “War on Terror” was all Bulls***:

Remember 9/11? And how the Bushistas said we really needed the Patriot Act? And the repeal of habeas corpus? And warrantless wiretaps? And secret agencies and laws (and tons of oh-so-secret funding)? And a couple of land wars that killed lots of soldiers and civilians?

And a new Department of Homeland Security (DHS) to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them? Ohmygoodnessgracious, the DHS was ESSENTIAL to winning the Global War on Terror (GWOT) (Teapubbies totally suck out loud at acronyms, have you ever noticed?). We simply HAD to have it, and to spend billions of taxpayer dollars on it. And right away, too. Remember?

Of course you remember. So do we all. Which makes things seem puzzling today, when the Teapublicans are willing to kneecap that ever-so-very important agency, just to stick a thumb in Obama’s eye. How could they take such a risk to such an all-important entity over such a trivial matter of prosecutorial discretion of alleged illegal immigrants?

The answer is obvious: DHS isn’t really important.

DHS, GWOT, and the entirety of the “Republican agenda” of the day was, is, and will always be neither more nor less than  a right-wing wet dream come true; an enormous, extra-constitutional seizure of power and money, designed solely to enrich and empower a privileged few while impoverishing disempowering the masses.

Now that we know this to be the case, it’s time to do away with DHS and every other Bush-era “Republican” piece of policy or law that has anything at all to do with national security: because it was bulls*** when it was proposed, bulls*** when enacted, bulls*** when expanded, and is still bulls*** today.

Away with Gitmo, torture, wiretaps,  secrecy, imperialist wars of choice,  the Patriot Act, all of it. Throw it all onto the dungheap of history (as one should always do with bulls***) and return our stolen funds and freedoms to us.

And prosecute the conniving mammy-jammers responsible for the scam as well. Let them stand under the crap they created as we pitchfork it onto their compost pile.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Teapublicans are ALL Racist, Willfully Ignorant, Lying, Bullying Criminals.

Any dips*** who votes for a Repub supports those despicable actions. Yes. These hateful, stupid, violent, dishonest crooks would not be in office were it not for millions of bigoted, idiotic, abusive, dishonest, thieving asshat Teapubbie voters. So if you are or vote for a “Republican”, welcome to the ranks of the Pond Scum Society.

Doubt it? Five quick examples:
Racism: Airheaded Foxbot (a  redundancy, but, hey,  what the Hell) Kristi Capel recently decried Lady Gaga’s “jigaboo” music. Then claimed she didn’t know what the word meant. Ummm… grew up in Kentucky, won a beauty pageant in Missouri, works in Cleveland, and she doesn’t know from racial slurs? Riiiiiiight. That stench you smell is NOT roses, friends, but rather the dung that fertilizes them. She still has her job, proving that racism is acceptable to Repubs.

Willful Ignorance: Idaho lawmaker doesn’t know how babies are made. Or maybe he’s just even dumber than dumb when it comes to biology. Idaho State Rep. Vito Barbieri asked if swallowing a camera would show what was happening in a uterus. Does he think oral sex causes pregnancy, or that women digest via their vaginas? Either way, he, like “republicans” in general, is far too comfortable knowing nothing. He still has his job, proving that pig-ignorance is lauded by Repubs.

Lying and Bullying: Foxbot Bull Bill O’Reilly, who clearly kissed a lot of the Blarney Stone (underneath, in the dirt, with all the other dung beetles, worms and other s***-eating lowlifes) was trying to avoid answering questions about his, well, lies. He beat on the questioner with his bumbershoot, and then tried to get the person he assaulted charged. He still has HIS job, proving that Repubs love men who lie and commit violent acts against innocent people.

Criminals: America’s favorite bulky bully, Chris Christie (proof that naming somebody after the Savior, even when done twice, cannot make them good Christians) has been called out by a judge for stealing millions of dollars from pensioners. He still has his job, proving that Repubs love love LOVE crooked motherf***ers.

Seriously, can you find a truly decent and honorable Republican anywhere (dead ones don’t count)? This blogger was raised by old-school Eienhower Republicans, and there used to much to admire about the Old Party that was once Grand. Maybe not enough to make the Young and Cranky want to join up, but there were points to respect, others to debate, and generally one could engage in reasonably civil discourse with most Republicans, even during the Vietnam war, Watergate, etc. No longer.

The GOPee has become a completely valueless party, a vast organized crime syndicate, full of idiots, secessionists, traitors, crooks, liars and other people who would, in any just society, be locked up with the keys thrown far away, instead of holding the majority of control in our once-decent nation. The idea that half of all of us share those values makes this writer cringe whenever he goes overseas, because he KNOWs that the people he encounters will be asking about our f***ed-up government, and why the Hell we all let it get like this.

The answer is mystifying to them, and depressing to your humble bloggespondent: our government is the way it is, because voter action (and inaction) has made it so. The American electorate has repeatedly shown its approval for such mendacity, wickedness, cruelty, evil and corruption via the ballot box. So our government, far from being an aberration, is in fact representative of the people. Disgusting but true.

All Teapubusicles are rotten scumballs, each and every one, electors and elected alike. F*** the lot of them sideways, with a rusty file and a sandy lubricant.

But not much better are those manifold people  with principles who idly lie around, doing nothing about it but p*** and moan, when their collective votes could right these cataclysmic wrongs in a few short election cycles.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

“War on Christmas?” Gimme a Friggin’ Break, OK?

The “Christian Right” is starting into its annual festive tizzy about how Baby Jesus is being dissed due to people uttering words other than “Merry Christmas” during the period of time between Halloween and New Year’s Eve. In reality, of course, there is no such “war on Christmas”, and has never been. You want the real story on the annual celebration? Here ya go:

When the weather gets cold and the days get short, people like to have a party, to lift their spirits. It’s been going on for, literally, thousands of years, all over the planet. Vis. and to wit:

In ancient Rome, it was called Saturnalia (or Dies Natalis Solis Invicti).
Modern American Hindus celebrate Pancha Ganapati.
Vainakhs celebrated Malkh.
Saxons celebrated Mōdraniht.
European-descended Pagans have a Yule holiday.
Persian-descended Pagans celebrate Shabe Yaldā.
Christians, of course, have Christmas.
The jewish people celebrate Hanukkah.
Slavic folk have been known to observe Malanka.

To name but a few. Get the idea? When all around is dark and dreary, we humans like to have some light and merriment.

So just because Christian missionairies in the British Isles decided to adapt some Celtic Pagan observances by inventing a birthday celebration for Rebbe Yeshuah Bar Joseph (AKA Jesus), and just because we Christian types happen to be in the majority in contemporary America, doesn’t mean other people in and from other cultures don’t have a right to party in the manner of their own choosing. We all need a bit of a pick-me-up when nature has us feeling down.

It’s gotten worse since Fundagelicals have decided to repurpose the celebratory holiday of Christmas into yet another evangelical outlet; because when religious people are looking for converts, they can get pretty militant. (See the Albigensian Crusade for another example besides the current ones.) Songs like “Mary, Did You Know” are perfect examples of this phenomenon. It’s no longer enough to wish the Savior a happy birthday and give gifts and charity to others: no, these proselytizeing latter-day Puritans are after your very souls. Damn your fun, they are on a mission!

Everybody, just take a breath and smile. Drive away the chill and dark with warmth and light. It’s what humans do. All of us. For all of our history. This writer loves the opportunity to liven up the blah days of a blah season, and doesn’t care what you call your party.

Call it “Bob”, if you want. It might prevent a few wars, or a few Fox News editorials at the very least. The reason for the season is: to help ourselves and those around us to be a wee bit happier.

So Happy Bob to one and all.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

When a Nixon Called out the National Guard…

Back in the day, a bunch of protesters were, well, protesting, and a politician named Nixon had the National Guard called out (by a crony of his), loaded weapons and all. Here’s what happened:

Nobody needs automatic weapons pointed at them when they are exercising their First Amendment rights. No one deserves that. And no ethical politician should EVER make that their option of first resort.

” Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. ”

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

“Republicans” are VERY different from Democrats, Day One: Repubs Hate Women. Dems Do Not.

Wingnuts are in high gear of late, proclaiming their usual canard about there “being little or no difference between the parties”. Bull-f***ing-s***. Today’s debunking: women’s rights.

Huge differences abound: look at the current Teapubbie and Democratic platforms:

Number A: Repubs think women should allowed to die rather than allow them to have a life-saving abortion. Dems do NOT believe this.

Letter 2: Repubs think women should not be allowed to use birth control, or at least be deprived of insurance coverage if they need it. Oh, and that applies even if the pills are being used for other medical reasons than birth control. Dems do NOT believe this, either.

Thirdly: Repubs believe women should be made to work harder and be paid less. Once again: Democrats do NOT share this belief.

Ignore the lunatics of the fringe: the parties are VERY different. A vote for a Dem IS a vote against Repubs. Get on out and vote Dem.

Unless, of course, you hates you some women. If so, sit out the election or vote Republican. If not, get out and vote AGAINST the party that hates your mothers, sisters, and every woman on Earth. Any electoral action  OTHER  than a vote for a Dem is an attack on women. Period.

“No difference”, my Cranky A**. Tomorrow: Repubs’ love affair with terrorists.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

It’s 9/11. Remember who attacked us. And who let it happen. And who made money from the attacks.

Today is September 11th, and in order to truly honor the memory of those who died at the hands of those terrorist goat-f***ers in Al-Quaida, this writer will forego the usual platitudes, and instead point a big finger at the “Republicans” who sat back and let it happen; and then used those thousands of deaths to further their political ends whilst padding their offshore bank accounts. Think that is inappropriate, nasty, partisan, or lese-majeste? Gentle Reader, you ain’t heard nothing yet.

The 9/11 Commission report said that the Bushistas ignored the threat until after the attacks had occurred. And then, of course, they used the deaths of our fellow citizens to launch a phony war in Iraq and make themselves multi- millionaires. It’s all public record, click the links if you don’t believe it.

In stark contrast to the incompetence, malfeasance, and obfuscation of the “Republicans” stands President Obama. People told him about an imminent terrorist threat, and he quickly got started kicking their mass-murdering asses. And he told the country exactly what he was gonna do: bomb, shoot, and generally kill all of the Shaitan-worshipping thugs in ISIS. That, friends, is how you respond to an attack. Openly, firmly, and honestly.

There are still fools around the world who think the Prexy is weak, indecisive, or naive. To those idiots, we present four words:
Osama
Bin
Laden’s
Dead.
He died because Obama had the smarts and the testicular fortitude to pursue the mutt and kill his ass. The Bushies didn’t care enough to catch the motherf***er, which helped Al-Quaida grow stronger and prosper by showing the world that America would not punish those who attack us. But the Dems in the White House DID care, justice WAS rendered, and today Al-Quaida is a shattered remnant of the jihadi collossus it once was. Punishing criminals works a lot better than rewarding them.

We can best honor the victims of crimes by rendering justice on the criminals, and preventing future crimes. To the first point, not all of the criminals of 9/11 have been brought to justice yet, but Obama has made a good start. And to the second, he is doing things differently than his predecessor, thus helping to prevent a recurrence of 9/11.

Not to say that Obama’s actions are without risk. They carry enormous potential for blowback and unintended consequences. But doing nothing failed in 2001, and failed earlier this year as well. Terrorists will commit acts of terror whether men of good will do nothing, or do something. It’s what terrorists do. At least killing them, taking their money, and destroying their assets slows them down. (Again, see what has happened to Al-Quaida since PBO took office.)

The Bushies have the blood of innocents on their hands and in their wallets. Never forget, Gentle Reader. Because if we forget, it’ll happen again. Good luck to President Obama and all the brave people who fight for us every day. And bad cess to those who attack us, abandon us, and use tragedy to manipulate us.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Never Hire a Hothead (Chris Christie Edition)

New Jersey’s Governor is a vengeful, rage-filled bully with a room-temperature emotional IQ. All of these negative characteristics are on full display as the Bridgegate scandal unfolds. For those readers who aren’t familiar with it: Christie had his minions close parts of a vital bridge on order to get payback when a Democratic mayor did not endorse the Repub Guv’s recent reelection bid. He deliberately and knowingly endangered people, property, lives and livelihoods, wasted many taxpayer dollars and cost hundreds of businesses many thousands of dollars, all because he had a temper tantrum. His lackeys are being subpoenaed by the state, and are (when they can be found) testifying to just that effect.

Adding to the scrutiny, the Feds are asking just what the Mouth that Roared was up to. From the article:

In a letter to Port Authority Board Chairman David Sampson, Rockefeller wrote: “Unwarranted lane closures with no public notice can have serious ramifications on interstate commerce and safety in the region, and as the Committee with oversight responsibility of the Port Authority, I continue to have serious concerns about the actions of this agency. The gravity of this situation demands a comprehensive investigation. It also exacerbates my concerns with the governance and previous oversight of the Port Authority.”
Rockefeller also wrote to US Transportation Secretary Anthony Foxx Monday urging that the federal agency open its own inquiry into the Port Authority.

And this emotional infant, who thinks only of ignoring, abusing, mocking or intimidating those who don’t bow and scrape before him, who put an entire region at risk of calamity if a disaster or terrorist attack had occurred during these ill-advised closures… This hotheaded son of two strangers wants to be the President of the United States. The one person in the world who can launch a nuclear attack on his own. That is NOT a good idea, Cranky Nation.

We allowed an immature, spoiled, petulant, willfully pig-ignorant hothead to run this country before: his name was George W. Bush. Remember how well that worked out? Billions of dollars stolen and wasted, crimes committed, thousands of lives lost, all because America sat back and let him have free reign to unleash his temper tantrums upon a world that didn’t need or deserve them.

It’s bad enough that the voters of New Jersey got conned into electing Chris Christie again. But let’s stop there. We don’t need another vengeful, impetuous, angry idiot in the White House.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Yes, Ralph Nader is still an A**hole.

Nader is a millionaire dilletante arsewipe who took lots of money and assistance from the “Republicans”, deliberately damaged the Democrats, and alternately admitted it and lied about it repeatedly in 2000 and 2004. He hoped ( and said so) that Bush would defeat Gore and Kerry, and worked to make that happen.

Never mind the many thousands who would suffer or die as a result of his actions: Nader wanted a Bush presidency that would be so bad, so destructive, so injurious to the populace that Nader’s own political fortunes would be enhanced. And he got the cataclysm he wanted. In fact, we all got that cataclysm, even though the rest of us didn’t want it (because WE suffered, while his wealthy, privileged a** suffered not one bit). Of course, he didn’t get the political throne he coveted, and thank God for such small favors: but the damage he wrought via the illegal and illegitimate Bush “Presidency” remains with us to this day.

And when he is challenged on his idiotic, un-American, Left-betraying, Right-enabling actions? Why, his response boils down to “I’m right, and you’re wrong.” Pretty much the same thing that the Naderoids (differing from hemorrhoids only in the type of a**hole they are attached to) say, in the main. And if you bring up the facts that are contained within the above hyperlinks? He and his Naderbots either ignore them, embrace them, or deny them, depending on their mood at the time.

And this, Gentle Reader, is the crux of his a**holitude: it’s not that he did stupid s***; it’s not that the stupid s*** he did helped to cause such death, destruction, and exacerbated the economic injustices that plague our society; it’s that he looks at the havoc he enabled the Bushistsas to wreak upon the planet, and STILL says that he was right to do what he did.

Actually, a**hole isn’t a strong enough word for him or his supporters. But it’ll do for getting along with.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

How Do You Spell “Irrelevant”? B-O-E-H-N-E-R

Mr. Blunt and Cranky was not surprised at Speaker John Boehner’s weekend statement announcing that banning abortion was his priority in 2013. Disgusted, yes. But not surprised. Anyone who thought the “Republican” party had learned thing one from the shellacking they took last fall should now be on notice that their hopes have been dashed.

After riding a tsunami of vituperative, irrational, ill-considered and short-sighted (Mr. Magoo could see farther than these yutzes can) rhetoric and actions for the past 4+ years, the Repubs have clearly decided that they are going to stick with that “strategy”, even though it has led to failure across the nation. So, what screwed the pooch the hardest in 2012? Culture-war issues. So of course, Johnny Boehner is going there again.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/25/john-boehner-abortion-march-for-life_n_2552597.html

When we have: a resurgent Al-Qaida; millions of people unemployed; starving children; foreign wars; crumbling highways; a shortage of qualified technical workers; a raging deficit; and a host of other issues that the rest of the country agrees are important; indeed, the House GOP is so deluded they think we all agree with them about their latter-day-Mrs.-Mao-Culture-Crusade, never mind that the results of the election proved them wrong

Last cycle, the Elephants thought they could whip the Donkeys by manipulating their base and rigging elections. Didn’t work, of course. Any person with half an ounce of objectivity would change things up a bit. But the Boehner Brigade figures they can do the same thing they did before, and maybe B.S. a few Latinos into voting for the GOP, and they’ll be back on top. Eedjits.

You know the stages of grief, right? Well, the ‘Phants are stuck in Denial. The rest of the country can’t afford to be all hippie-dippy, fluffy-bunny, tender and gentle, waiting for them to process and take their own time to heal and grow. We pay these fools to work for us, and there is work that needs doing, and that immediately.

We voters need to administer as many electoral bitch-slaps as possible: stop the rigging attempts, vote out every extremist loon we can, and clog their voice mails and email accounts and offices: tell them that we are sick of their lame-assed attempts to project their attitudes onto the rest of us and to get to work on the stuff the Constitution mandates them to do, instead of crapping all over the Establishment Clause while ignoring the real, unmet needs of our nation.

Mr. B & C

There is no Obama War on Coal, Gas, or Oil. None. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

One of the lies that is being peddled of late is an alleged Obama “War on Coal”. This is repeated for natural gas and oil, as well. The idea is that massive over-regulation by our commienazisocialistkenyanmuslimchristianhawaiianohwhatthehellcallhimeverynameinthebookandseewhatsticks President is somehow dejobbing coal miners and well drillers, causing poverty, blight, and maybe even gum disease. There’s a little problem with this scenario, however: it is not true. Not even a little bit.

It is true that coal output is down, and mining jobs are being lost (in some parts of the country). But it has nothing to do with President Obama (or Bush, or any occupant of the Oval Office): it has to do with the free market. Here’s how it works:

Due to the lightly-regulated natural gas market, lots and lots of gas wells got drilled in the past few years. So many, in fact, that the price of natural gas is lower than a politician’s moral standards. So low that lots of power plants switched from coal to gas to save money and earn bigger profits. Less coal being burned means less coal needs mined, so fewer miners are needed. That is the free market at work, and the government had almost nothing to do with it.

Gas drilling jobs are down, because the lightly-regulated market had so many gas wells drilled of late that the market price of natural gas is so low, it isn’t profitable to drill more gas wells. That is the free market at work, and the government had almost nothing to do with it.

Oil drilling jobs are up, and the United States is closing in on Saudi Arabia for the title of biggest oil producing nation in the world; because the lightly-regulated markets have created a surplus of well-drillers who used to work in the natural gas fields, along with new technologies and more available land on which to drill. Plus the price of oil is high, so it is profitable to drill. That is the free market at work, and the government had almost nothing to do with it.

In other words, the Republican ideal of a free market is responsible for the current energy market and the jobs associated therewith. The government (especially the President) cannot be blamed for the jobs that are lost, nor given credit for the jobs that are gained.

So if you’re spreading these lies about an “Obama war on fossil fuels”, STFU. If you’ve been believing the lies about an “Obama war on fossil fuels”, stop.  It’s a bunch of bulls***, like most things we hear from politicians and lobbyists.

Mr. B & C