The Dance of the Masturbating Fetuses

http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2013/06/17/texas-congressman-masturbating-fetuses-prove-need-for-abortion-ban/  Sometimes, a blogger has little to do but spread around the incredible wealth of absurdity that our “representatives” offer up to We The People. This is one of those times (we WISH we could make this kind of s*** up):

Texas Congresscritter Michael Burgess (R-Bedlam) said that since he has seen 15-week old male fetuses masturbating in the womb (exactly how he knows this I dunno, but hey, he’s a doctor, right?), why, there must be an absolute ban on all abortions: but he’ll settle for a ban set at 20 weeks. Really. He said that. Nope, not kidding:

“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” said Burgess, a former OB/GYN. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to believe that they could feel pain?”

Now, some might call this a stroke of genius, or the worst idea they ever came across. You might say he’s a real jerk, or that he’s read the Palma Sutra too many times. One could speculate that he has Onan and Oedipus confused or conflated. We all wonder what this dick is trying to pull. Is it really that hard, you little squirt?

OK, enough with the autoerotica puns. The real joke is that this is an OB/GYN turned “republican” “representative”, and these comments are now part of the Congressional Record. Future generations will need this comic relief as they read up on how we took such a promising nation and turned it into a large heap of dung, presided over by fundagelical ignoramuses.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Lying Sack of S*** of The Week: Bitchy Mitchy McConnell

Or maybe he’s just plain crazy. Assuming he’s not, Mr. Blunt and Cranky hereby bestows this week’s Crown O’ Polished Turds upon the misshapen dome of the current Senate Minority Leader, the whiny-arsed bitch that is McConnell.

And how did he rise to the top of the heap in a week that had some truly epic lies told? The “distinguished gentleman” accused a polling firm (and perhaps the Prexy, too, by proxy) of making up poor approval ratings to hurt his future re-election chances.  Really. Not kidding. Use the Googlicious thingie to see for yourself.

Getting bad poll numbers could, indeed, indicate that one’s chances of being re-elected are not as good as one might hope. But instead of paying attention to data and seeing what he could do to improve his rating, this man chose to create a bizzarro conspiracy theory so as to distract from the facts. He should remember that even The Great and Powerful Oz couldn’t make the old “distraction trick” work.

Yo, Mitch the Bitch, we can see through your curtain of lies. Wear your COPT behind it, why don’tcha?

Mr. B & C