Archives for posts with tag: zombie

This blog sneers ofttimes at “Republicans” and their stupid-f*** “supply-side” economics. (Here is one example of said mockery.) The gist is: tried and true data-based economic practices are the way to succeed, and Randian, Lafferesque Voodoo economic policies are the way to fail.

In Kansas, one of several states that have decided Ayn Rand was the false Goddess they shall worship, Voodoo economics have had the result most of those in the Reality-Based community have predicted:

In Kansas, the right wing has completely run the show in the state capitol since the 2012 elections, when Sam Brownback (who became governor two years earlier) led a purge of moderate Republicans who were acting as a brake on his agenda in the state Senate. Kansas is now a laboratory for what would happen if conservative Republicans gained full control of government. Empowered state Republicans slashed taxes for the rich, arguing that an economic boom would follow. It didn’t, as job growth in Kansas has underperformed the national average (as has Scott Walker’s Wisconsin, another state that moved hard right around the same time). But what did follow was a huge hole in the state’s budget (while liberal-dominated California is running a surplus and paying down debt).. (Emphasis via Cranky)

In state after state, the predicted results have occurred: Voodoo economics have created a sort of Zombie economy. What might seem just a mildly amusing turn of phrase is in fact a devastating blow to those of us not in the 1% (said 1% motherf***ers not being in the least incommoded by the Undead Economy). The economy is limping along, barely alive as far as most of us can tell, and that is not a sustainable path.

In Kansas, Wisconsin, Ohio, and indeed across the nation, we see the results of “Republican” policies: and rotten results they have proven to be. Using millions of people to test their voodoo theories was unethical at the outset, and has since sucked most of the life our of our economy.

Unlike the zombies one sees in movies, our Repub-afflicted economy can be healed and brought back to life. All that is needed is to lay off the voodoo, apply some healthy policies, and the rotting ambulatory corpse of our nation will be restored to health.

And the first step of that cure? Get out and vote. Vote against each and every “Republican” in every race, in every location. Banish the witch doctors and bring back the trained, educated professionals that had served us so well for centuries. Ditch the dream of Supply-Side, and awaken to reality.

That ‘dream’ turned out to be a nightmare the likes of which even Romero could never have envisioned, anyway.

Mr. Blunt and Crankly

Mr. Blunt and Cranky has had a epiphany, and an enormous one if he does say so himself (and he does, yes he does): he has found something that Congress is actually good for. This might seem counter-intuitive, as our national legislators are aggressive, brainless, greedy, full of rage and bloodlust; indeed, they act purely out of rapacious instinct,with  no thought for anyone else’s welfare eave their own.

“So how,” we hear you ask, “is there anything good to be said about such wretched creatures?”. The answer is not so much in their being good: rather, it is the benefit we may gain from their manifold shortcomings:

Congresscritters and Senators would be the perfect defense against the Zombie Apocalypse. Think of it, people: zombies invade the Capitol and one of two things happen: they sense the absence of brains, and starve to death; or they sense a building full of a different sort of zombie, and  live peacefully among their own kind thereafter, two tribes of brainless sub-humans who are cut from the same rotten, moldy old cloth.

Yes, we just trick the zombies as they are apocalypsing, point them to Washington D.C., clear out the civilians in their path, and when all are present and accounted for build a huge honkin’ wall around Dizzy City. Then we in the rest of America can live happily ever after.

Hey, it’s not much, but at least we are starting the week on a somewhat positive note for a change.

Mr. B & C

In college, Mr. Blunt and Cranky studied many wondrous topics suitable for inspiring beer-fueled bull sessions. Among them was the thought experiment known as Schrödinger’s Cat: oversimplified, it postulates that if a cat is in a box and cannot be seen therein, it may be alive or dead (or both). The only way to find out for sure is to open the box. While the box is closed, one may project whatever one likes on its surface, and no one can prove the projector to be wrong.

To an allegory addict like this writer, the most obvious parallel is the judicial branch of the United States Government: is it every bit as partisan as the other two branches, or is it still at least somewhat fair and impartial? Put another way, are the courts dead or alive? Alive, if they function impartially, dead if they have strayed from the vision laid out in the Constitution.

There are those who say that the box has been long since opened and the modern court already found to be dead: they point to Bush vs. Gore and Citizens United as “proof” that the court majority is a load of right-wing Repub ideologues, set on the destruction on everything post-1852. There also those  (some on the left, some on the right) who argue that no box opening has occurred,  and we cannot know for sure; but man, they do not like what is likely inside.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky thinks the lid is still down on the box. He further thinks that when it is opened (AKA when the Obamacare decision is announced), we will find the “cats” of Schrödinger’s Court  either on life support, or turned to Zombies – Schrödinger’s idea that one can be both alive and dead sounds rather like today’s zombie chic.

Zombies make for entertaining graphic novels, but they would not make good jurists. Here’s hoping the courts are merely comatose, rather than undead.

And here’s regretting that we have been reduced to hoping for something so pathetic as a barely-alive judiciary.

Mr. B & C