If you see Mr. Blunt and Cranky on stage playing some old chestnut like “Freebird”, you can tell why he’s playing it by who’s paying him (some bar owner, corporate type or FOTB). Once you know who is laying out the green and folding, you can understand why the band is playing a song we’ve grown heartily sick of over the decades. But hey, he who has the gold makes the rules: so in order to get the gold, the players follow the rules. The dude with the bucks wants to hear Skynyrd, so he gets Skynyrd.

If you encounter this writer in a corporate context, you might wonder why he puts on a tie, when his aversion to such ornamental ligatures is well-established. So you ask who is putting up the cash. Once you know who is writing the checks, the wearing of a suit and tie makes sense. Because he who has the gold makes the rules: so in order to get the gold, the suits follow the rules. The man with the cash wants us to wear ties, so we wear ‘em.

Now let us apply the same analytical (and yes, cynical) process to Edward Snowden. He took a pay cut in order to be able to steal government secrets and spread them around the globe, so he wasn’t likely saving a ton of bucks. He then flew on some not-too-cheap flights from Hawaii to Hong Kong, and then to Russia, where he’s been holed up for weeks in a pretty darned expensive and heavily secured hotel. He’s also been accompanied and been given legal advice on occasion by Wikileaks at least since he fled the USA (and for all we know, before that). He’s divulged secrets and rattled cages, and acted in a sometimes inexplicable manner. And we wonder: “Why?”

The answer, my friend, can be found when we identify Snowden’s paymaster. Putin sure as hell ain’t comping Edward’s room, meals and drinks for nothing. So either he is getting “paid” with Snowden’s stolen information, or somebody else is paying the bills for the airport hotel and whatever other costs he may be incurring.
Wikileaks is also not giving legal advice away for free. So either they are getting “paid” with Snowden’s stolen information, or somebody else is paying the bills for the legal beagles.

When we know who is bankrolling the man, we’ll understand why he is doing such things. Whoever has the gold makes the rules, and if Ed wants the gold, he’s following their rules. Somebody with money wants to stick it to the USA, and so Eddie is sticking it to us.

So, who’s the “somebody”, and what do they want for their money? Snowden sure as Hell isn’t telling: he wants to get paid, like everybody else. So who among you, out there in the Cranky Nation, can track down man with the cash?

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

P.S. This writer was able to find any number of crowd-funded “legal defense” funds set up for the man: but no way to actually tie those funds to his current financial situation. Send in some documentation, and if it’s verifiable we will publish it here.