“Republicans” would have you believe that they are for smaller government. Mister Blunt and Cranky hates to bust your bubble, but this is not at all true. Not anymore, anyway.

Don’t believe it? Look at what they propose doing: monitoring and controlling women’s gynecological care; forcing us all to either be evangelical “Christians” or second-class citizens; making us all carry ID papers (like they did in Nazi Germany); criminalizing our bedroom activities, and so on. What is “small” about a government like that? Nada.

The Democrats are not for small government either. They are not as intrusive in our private lives, but they do like big programs and projects that the government either runs or facilitates. Mind, many Dems at least have the grace to openly embrace the idea of big government, so we can’t call them liars (in this one instance).

And what, I hear you cry, of “libertarians” like Ron Paul? Sorry to break it to you, but a quick look at his voting record reveals that he is just another bought-and-paid-for shill of the oil companies that control his district. And he loves nothing better than funneling our tax dollars to his cronies. Nothing “small” about that.

So, to any and all politicos who claim to be for small government, we hereby bestow this week’s Crown O’ Polished Turds. Wear it with pride, you lying sacks of s***.

Mr. B & C