In the “you gotta be kidding me” department we have Virginia’s Attorney General and “Republican” gubernatorial candidate Ken Cuccinelli, a big government guy who wants to tell you what kind of sex you can have. Gay or straight, married or not, he has pronounced himself to be your Bedroom Police.

He is still trying to reinstate an unconstitutional ban on certain consensual sex acts between adults (hint: think “oral”, but leave out “Roberts”). Indeed, he is campaigning on that position. Evidently, Virginia is too much “for lovers” to suit the guy. Or perhaps he thinks there aren’t enough Virgins in Virginia.

Thus we have a sitting attorney general trying to re-enact an unconstitutional law. We have a “small government” guy promoting Big Brother government. And he claims he’s doing all this to protect us. Typical Big Government type.

Anybody who can tie their brain into those kinds of knots must be capable of some pretty awesome contortions elsewhere, too: so in honor of this closet kinkster, we propose a sex act to be named after the man: Cuccinellingus .

It just might catch on.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky