TeaPublicans: The Party of Perverts, Predators and Puritans.

Some “Republicans” are all three at once. Not sure how that’s even possible, but Repubes are a load of walking contradictions anyway, so what’s another slab of cognitive dissonance on top of the mountain of political illogic upon which the GOP is already perched? The Predatory Pervy Puritan ‘Pubs they are, then.

Clan Duggar certainly qualify for all those P’s, obviously, plus another for “Pedophiliac”. As does their cop friend, Jim Hutchens, doing time for various baby-abusing-type crimes. As do other Teavangelicals, too many to name here.

Then there’s the Pervert ‘Pub Platoon, exemplified by Pampers-f***er and Prostitute Purchaser “Baby Davy” Vitter. Even though he has no grounds to criticize others for their sexual preferences, he does in fact point his fingers at others for not being normal. As if having sex while wearing a diaper full of one’s own s*** makes one “normal”.

And then there are those like Mike FHuckabee and those of his ilk, who are Puritan ‘Pubs that love Pedophiliacs and Perverts. Be they Duggars or others, Mikey and Co. just LOVES them some child abusers and baby-rapers.

And then there are the Perverted Puritan Pubbies, like Marco Rubio and Jeb Ph***ing Bush, who forced women to post their sex lives online.

These sick motherf***ers must have teenie weenies, to have all these bizzare sexual hangups. Or maybe their mommas never loved them, or daddies weren’t macho enough. Naaaah, they’re just a bunch of Pencil-P*****ed Pedo Preeves.

Vote for them if you are also a Perverted, Pedophiliac, Predatory, Puritan, Prostitute-Purchasing, Pencil-P****ed ‘Pub. Vote against them if you’re not.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Jeb Bush, the Real-Life Death Panel

Gentle Reader, if you still believe in small-government “Republicans”, it’s time to stop. Because Jebbie Bush is so Big Brother, he thinks he can decide who lives and who dies. Seriously. Jeb really does accord to himself that God-like power:

Remember the Terri Schiavo case? Jeb overruled the family and doctors in the case, requiring that a brain-dead woman’s body be forcibly kept “alive”. Because it made money for health care providers and got Jeb more votes, and to Hell with the rights of the people involved. Master of Life and Death, Jeb Bush, triumphing over the citizens by his executive decree. Bush’s Personal Death Panel decided who lived and died (until a court smacked him hard enough).

And if you have a baby in a manner Jeb disapproves of, he will punish you. Public shaming, and perhaps other measures legal and extralegal would be used to make the lives of young mothers a living Hell; all because they acted in a “pro-life” manner and gave birth to a child. Sounds like he’d prefer these children not be born at all, doesn’t it?

So Jeb Bush accords himself the power to decide when you can be born, and when you can die? Yes, he does. As does his entire party.Ask yourself just how “small government” can be such if it controls our births and deaths?

The answer is, of course, that Teapublicans are in fact NOT AT ALL in favor of small government. Repubs are the biggest of Big Government types. They’d love to: decide how, when, and if you can reproduce; monitor your phones, mail and Internet activity; control your health care; dictate your financial and social status; and finally force you to die (or not), depending on whatever suits their own financial interests.

Jeb Bush is everything that is wrong with the Teavanglical GOP and all of its idiot adherents. Vote them all out, and quickly, lest you have to go before a “Republican” Death Panel yourself, someday.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Hillary Clinton says Something Obvious about Iraq. Teapublicans lack the Courage to do Likewise.

Hillary Clinton has finally come out and said something completely obvious and true: she said that her vote to give Gee Dubya authority to invade Iraq was a mistake. And that the Iraq war itself was a mistake. Good on her for stepping up when all of the “Republican” Presidential candidates lacked the intestinal fortitude to acknowledge the facts.

Given that each and every reason for Operation Iraqi Liberation (or OIL, for short) turned out be incorrect at best or a farrago of lies at worst, most people on planet Earth already knew that OIL was a huge f***-up, caused by a motley assortment of deluded fools, greedy crooks, and sociopaths (some of them, like Dickless Cheney, were all of the above). And that the lot of them were “led” by a cowardly, coke-headed, draft-dodging, illegitimate occupant of the White House who was driven primarily by his daddy issues. So it’s not surprising that Ms. Clinton is aware of these facts.

What IS surpising is that her statement is, well, surprising. It is notable. It is seen as a brave, bold move. And that, Gentle Reader, is a very sad thing indeed. A politician stating something obvious, fact-based, and backed by all the available evidence? This has become an unusual event.

Meanwhile, the Teapubbies are unwilling, unable, or just too s***-scared to do likewise. They can’t, or they won’t, tell the truth. It took Jebbie Bush a week to kinda-sorta-maybe-mostly admit that his Eedjit-In-Chief brother f***ed up, ferchrissakes. That got a little press, but not much, because it is what we’ve become used to these days. Cowardly politicos, unwilling to fess up to even the most basic facts for fear of losing votes. Normal American politics.

This is how far America’s “leaders’ have fallen – stating the obvious is too risky for them. Kudos to Hillary Clinton for being an exception to the rule. Maybe she’s not as gutsy as often as, say, Bernie Sanders, but it’s a step in the right direction. And it’s another indicator of which party sucks worse, and which party needs flung out of power on its elephantine ear.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Reality is Calling. Repubs are Denying the Facts. This can’t end well.

Really, Teapublicans hate Reality. “Republicans” pretend that basic math like 2+2 is negotiable. They say things are in the Bible that aren’t, and ignore things that ARE in the Bible. The GOPee would have you believe that scientific facts are debatable.

This “denial-based” approach to reality has lots of consequences. By denying biology and human sexuality,the Teavangelical “abstinence only” approach has caused STD epidemics and lots of unintended underaged pregnancies. By denying history, Trickle-Down economics has beggared the many and fattened the few. By denying science, whole nations are being wiped out by climate change, and more damage is occurring on a daily basis.

By denying the Constitution, a partisan “republican” Supreme Court illegally installed Gee Dubya Bush in the White House. By denying the facts, that illegitimate “president” allowed 9/11 to happen. By denying MORE facts, that same individual launched an illegal war that killed thousands of people and squandered billions of dollars. And so on. And on. AND on.

Those who vote for Teapubbies are even further divorced from reality (except for the .1 % crooks): because even though their jobs and money are gone, their women abused, their fields parched and their homes foreclosed upon, millions of Americans continue voting for Repubs. Because they deny the reality that their lives have been drowned in GOP Elephant s***.

Reality cannot be denied forever. Sooner or later, the facts will have their triumph. And all the denial one cares to create and perpetuate will accomplish naught in the end: nothing, that is, but even greater destruction, death, and human misery.

Reality is calling. Pick up the damned phone, America.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Baltimore is Another Wake-Up Call. America, stop Hitting the Snooze Button.

Over and over again, we get these wake-up calls. Over and over again, America listens for a little while, and then goes back to its usual state of willful ignorance. Rinse and repeat. STUPID.

It’s not like we haven’t seen this before: people are oppressed for so long and in so many ways, they can’t take it any more and lash out in blind rage. Baltimore today, Ferguson yesterday, and running back through history: Watts, Little Rock, the French Revolution, the American Revolution, all the way back to ancient Rome and its predecessors. An insular ruling class oppresses the masses, and eventually the masses revolt.

And there are always those who TELL the ruling class what is going on, pleading with them, exhorting them to change the arc of history, to learn from history, to not repeat the mistakes of history. So it was, and so it is. For example, here are the words of Baltimore Orioles COO John Angelos:

That said, my greater source of personal concern, outrage, and sympathy beyond this particular case is focused neither upon one night’s property damage nor upon the acts, but is focused rather upon the past four-decade period during which an American political elite have shipped middle-class and working-class jobs away from Baltimore and cities and towns around the US to third-world dictatorships, like China and others; plunged tens of millions of good, hardworking Americans into economic devastation, and then followed that action around the nation by diminishing every American’s civil-rights protections in order to control an unfairly impoverished population living under an ever-declining standard of living and suffering at the butt end of an ever-more militarized and aggressive surveillance state.

Pretty clear, isn’t he? America can (and should) listen to him, wake up and take action. But no, America will probably just roll over, smack the s*** out of the snooze button on the alarm, and go back to sleep. Eventually, the wake-up call will be so loud, it can’t be ignored any longer.

By then, it’ll be too late. America will finally wake up, only to find out that it died in its sleep.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Republicans Suck at Security. Proof? Timothy McVeigh.

20 years ago this Sunday, a white “Christian” Militia goon named Timothy McVeigh committed the worst act of domestic terrorism in American history. He blew up a building full of children and non-combatant men and women, killing 168 of them and wounding hundreds more. But do we run around yelling “4/19” like we do “9/11”? Of course not.

We don’t because, unlike Dubya, Bill Clinton didn’t use the Oklahoma City Tragedy for nefarious political purposes. Bubba didn’t declare a “Global War on Militias”; he didn’t invade Idaho to wipe out militia types; he didn’t torture or throw McVeigh into a Cuban prison; no, President Clinton used normal military and civilian means to bring the scumbag terrorist and his accomplices to justice. And he was successful, because Timmy Mac is long dead, having been tried in civilian courts, convicted, and finally executed in accordance with Federal and State civilian law.

By contrast, the Bushistas used 9/11 to manipulate us, rob us, deprive us of our rights, and kill a lot of us. Bin Laden’s trained sociopathic pilots may have terrorized us, but not half as much as Shrub, Cheney and their cabal did. From the DHS/TSA and their terror alert levels, to the Patriot Act, through torture and phony WMDs, to failed wars of choice, the “Republican” response to 9/11 failed at everything except panicking the populace, fooling the foolish, and gulling the gullible.

Again by contrast, let’s look at the terrorist attack on the Boston Marathon. Obama didn’t order the whole country into lockdown; he did not order the invasions of Chechnya, Kyrgyzstan or Dagestan; no, the cops found the perps, who were then dealt with by the normal civilian judicial process.

Oh, and the guy behind the 9/11 attacks? The actual responsible party? You know, the Phil Robertson of Islam? Bush never cared enough to catch him. All Shrubya wanted was to steal money and grab power. Which the motherf***er did.

The moral of the story? We don’t need a national freakout when we’re attacked by enemies foreign or domestic: we just have to remain calm and use the resources that the Constitution gave us. That, Gentle reader, is how we exact justice upon terrorists.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Profits can kill. Profits can destroy. Profits can corrupt.

Regular readers know that Mr. Blunt and Cranky has had long careers in business and the arts, and is therefore not at all opposed to making money. Indeed, Adam Smith is frequently cited here: the man was a firm believer in a WELL-REGULATED free market. Because he was smart enough to see the harm that unchecked profits can cause.

Profits are not inherently bad: in the right measure, they can do a lot of good. But anything can be overdone: and the Teapublican “greed is good” mantra is an object lesson. Here, then, are three examples of the horrors that can be wrought by profits:

Number A: America’s profit-centered “health care” system kills lots of people. Including this writer’s only son. Yes, Aetna has death panels: people are denied care based on profit margins. That is why my son was kicked out of the hospital just a few hours after awakening from a coma. PROFITS CAN AND DO KILL. PROFITS KILLED MY KID.

Letter 2: American industry is constantly pushing for less (or no) regulation, in order to increase profit. Thence came disasters such as massive oil spills, poisoned rivers and aquifers, and destructive, deadly industrial accidents. Profits can and do destroy.

Thirdly: American politicos are taking bribes in record quantities to enhance the profitability of private businesses with taxpayer dollars. Yes, they call them “contributions”, but c’mon: these are bribes. Bribes that result in the theft of our hard-earned. Profits can and do corrupt.

Once again, Gentle Reader: your humble correspondent is not, repeat NOT opposed to profits. But not everything has a free-market solution. Some things are better divorced from a financial profit motive. Some things must be non-profit in order to succeed: things like health, education, public safety, and so on.

It’s long past time we put the final nail in the coffin of Reagan/Bush voodoo economics and its resulting death, destruction and corruption.

Reality is calling, America: better pick up the phone while we still can.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Proof Positive that the Republican “War on Terror” was all Bulls***:

Remember 9/11? And how the Bushistas said we really needed the Patriot Act? And the repeal of habeas corpus? And warrantless wiretaps? And secret agencies and laws (and tons of oh-so-secret funding)? And a couple of land wars that killed lots of soldiers and civilians?

And a new Department of Homeland Security (DHS) to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them? Ohmygoodnessgracious, the DHS was ESSENTIAL to winning the Global War on Terror (GWOT) (Teapubbies totally suck out loud at acronyms, have you ever noticed?). We simply HAD to have it, and to spend billions of taxpayer dollars on it. And right away, too. Remember?

Of course you remember. So do we all. Which makes things seem puzzling today, when the Teapublicans are willing to kneecap that ever-so-very important agency, just to stick a thumb in Obama’s eye. How could they take such a risk to such an all-important entity over such a trivial matter of prosecutorial discretion of alleged illegal immigrants?

The answer is obvious: DHS isn’t really important.

DHS, GWOT, and the entirety of the “Republican agenda” of the day was, is, and will always be neither more nor less than  a right-wing wet dream come true; an enormous, extra-constitutional seizure of power and money, designed solely to enrich and empower a privileged few while impoverishing disempowering the masses.

Now that we know this to be the case, it’s time to do away with DHS and every other Bush-era “Republican” piece of policy or law that has anything at all to do with national security: because it was bulls*** when it was proposed, bulls*** when enacted, bulls*** when expanded, and is still bulls*** today.

Away with Gitmo, torture, wiretaps,  secrecy, imperialist wars of choice,  the Patriot Act, all of it. Throw it all onto the dungheap of history (as one should always do with bulls***) and return our stolen funds and freedoms to us.

And prosecute the conniving mammy-jammers responsible for the scam as well. Let them stand under the crap they created as we pitchfork it onto their compost pile.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Teapublicans are out to steal YOUR retirement insurance premiums.

Let’s call some spades, here, OK? Social Security is INSURANCE for which we are forced to pay premiums. Some of us have paid for this insurance for decades and have the right to expect that the seller will deliver the product we had no choice but to purchase. Sounds simple, yes? We pay, we should get what we pay for, like any other insurance (car, home, life) product.

But not according to “Republicans”: they are out to breach our contract and steal our money:

As one of its first orders of business upon convening Tuesday, the Republican House of Representatives approved a rule that will seriously undermine efforts to keep all of Social Security solvent.

The rule hampers an otherwise routine reallocation of Social Security payroll tax income from the old-age program to the disability program. Such a reallocation, in either direction, has taken place 11 times since 1968, according to Kathy Ruffing of the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities.

The most cynical aspect of this attack is that it comes from some lawmakers who were helped by Social Security in their own lives. The roster includes Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.), who received Social Security benefits during his college years, after his father’s untimely death, and now thinks that the nation can’t afford to keep paying them as currently scheduled.

Another is Rep. Tom Reed (R-N.Y.), the sponsor of the House rules change, whose father died when he was 2 and then was raised by a single mother on Social Security and veterans benefits. Now he talks about Social Security going “bankrupt,” which is flatly incorrect, and promotes a measure aimed at cutting benefits for all. This is known as climbing the ladder and pulling it up behind you.

Got it, folks? The Teapubbies are doing exactly what they said they would do if elected. They are out to wreck Social Security, pocket our premiums, and throw anyone who is retired or disabled onto the streets instead of giving you the insurance benefits you paid for.

F*** those people. And if you voted for a “Republican”, f*** you too.

Mr. Blunt and Cranky

Teapublicans, Communists, and Terrorists have a LOT in common:

Number A: They don’t care who they kill, so long as they get what they want. Teapublicans are responsible for deaths of women and children due to starvation, lack of medical care, or indistrial poisoning; Communists kill dissidents by the trainload; and Terrorists kill innocent people aplenty via cowardly acts of violence. So for all three of these groups, murder is one of their tools of choice.

Letter 2: They are blinded by their senseless “faith” and cannot see the real world and the facts on which it is built. Teapublicans cling to the fiction of Supply-Side economics even as it destroys the nation; Communists insist that Marxism-Leninism is the inevitable destiny of the world, even after almost every Marxist government has long-since collapsed; and Terrorists insist that their God/Sacred Cause wants them to kill us all and let Him/It sort us all out, when there is not a shred of evidence that their Deity (or Cause) does, in fact, exist. So for all three groups, living in a dream world is a defining characteristic, as is rejection of reality.

Thirdly: They keep on doing the same dumbass things over and over again, even though said dumbassery never, EVER works. Teapubbies keep on stealing our tax money and giving it to the 1%, even though the benefits never trickle down. Communists keep on oppressing their people, even though it never results in an egalitarian society. And Terrorists keep on murdering innocent people, even though all it does is unite the rest of the world against the terrorists. So for all three groups, they fit the old definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, hoping for a different result.

So what ARE the differences between “Republicans”, Communists and Terrorists? Not much, really, unless you count wardrobe choices:



(Admit it: you thought the last one would be somebody in desert robes, didn’t you? Nope, it’s Timothy McVeigh, a home-grown terrorist.)

Mr. Blunt and Cranky